THE temperature was sizzling and the rise in divorce rates, specially in our society, was being feverishly discussed at the dinner table. Hotly contested voices lambasted the lack of tolerance in married couples in this day and age, and their inability to give each other the required space or latitude. On the other hand, misunderstanding and mistrust in all its forms and manifestations were delineated and dissected and held as the principle spoilers of conjugal bliss.
Sumaira, however, was not impressed by this entire debate. She disagreed not only with the conclusions drawn by the other diners, but the entire premise of their arguments. For Sumaira, the only problem was the disappearance of our good, old habit of preserving everything which had resulted in an attitude of not being caring for anything. So the principle malady was, in fact, the development of a non-caring attitude and nothing else.
Unfortunately a sense of propriety had kept her from articulating her views. It was against the family etiquette to raise a dissonant voice against that of the elders of the family. Yet, dissatisfaction was writ large on her face which compelled Mumani Jaan to inquire about her point of view. Getting a green signal from the entire table, she looked once again at her husband to see whether he approved, and feeling satisfied with his response, decided to tell her part of the story.
Sumaira and her husband were the only couple in the family whose marriage had not been arranged by elders. It was an affair of the heart in its truest sense. The story of their love and courtship was still fresh in the minds of the entire family and interestingly enough, only a month back, they were voted the best couple of the year at the 25th anniversary celebrations of the great Chacha Mian, also present at the table at the moment.
Soon after getting an affirmative nod from her husband, Sumaira, vehemently presenting her point of view, said, “Mistrust, misunderstanding and intolerance have always been part of the human psyche, yet never in history have we had such divorce rates. These words are mere cliches, their importance in the making or breaking of marriages has been blown out of proportion due to the excessive, largely incorrect use of these words to describe almost every schism in marital relations. I personally believe that a gradual change in our attitudes is responsible for the phenomenal growth in divorce rates, and my gut feeling is that the excessive and indiscriminate intrusion of disposable items in our daily scheme of life has somehow aided as a catalyst in bringing about a change in attitude. These items have desensitized us to such an extent that we have lost the habit of bearing with for long periods of time.”
This hypothesis was unheard of by all sitting around the table. The novelty of the idea increased their desire to hear more about it. Sumaira was urged by all to dilate on the subject.
Glancing at her husband again she said, “There was a time when girls used to make handkerchiefs for their husbands and fiancees, taking special care in embroidering the flowers and initials. Since such a lot of love and care went into preparing them, men, too, took special care of these gifts. That tradition helped a lot in nurturing an attitude of care in our life as a whole. Now, with the introduction of tissue papers in our everyday life, that tradition of care is fast vanishing. We have started considering everything as disposable. This element of apathy in relationships grows to a point where we feel it is quite easy to walk out of a relationship irrespective of its importance. The handkerchiefs I made for Shahzad are still with him and he never forgets to carry one before leaving for office.”
Everybody was listening to her till Shahzad broke the silence with equally surprising evidence in favour of her arguments. “This contention to me sounds quite plausible. I remember giving her a Parker fountain pen when she passed her Intermediate exams, which is still with her and she continues to fill it with ink regularly for writing. Very rarely does she use a ballpoint, which again is a disposable item like tissue paper. Excessive use of disposable items such as tissue paper and ballpoints has resulted in the erosion of the good old outlook to life, and replaced it with an attitude of taking everything casually and as disposable, even marriages.
Since most of those present had nothing concrete to offer in answer to the couple’s arguments, they left the table, one by one, quietly, without picking up any tissue paper from the packet lying at the table.
THE temperature was sizzling and the rise in divorce rates, specially in our society, was being feverishly discussed at the dinner table. Hotly contested voices lambasted the lack of tolerance in married couples in this day and age, and their inability to give each other the required space or latitude. On the other hand, misunderstanding and mistrust in all its forms and manifestations were delineated and dissected and held as the principle spoilers of conjugal bliss.
