The Indians, to this day, flinch when they recall President Musharraf’s white-silk sherwani when he landed in Delhi for the ill-fated summit. Taking a leaf from his book, they now know very well that the first rule of foreign policy should be ‘the look’
A LOT of money is about to be spent on both sides of the Wagah border. Or it is my conjecture that this is about to happen. Conjecture. It is such a safe word. Just like ‘alleged’, used ever so freely by us ‘journos’ to keep our skin (etc) safe at all times. It is beside the point that in our puritan land ‘conjecture’ can turn into a ‘coup’ and allegations can be changed into decrees because we sport such an ‘open-minded’ justice system. At least we are open about something!
Anyhow, coming to conjecture and the cash flow theory, it is presumed that there is flurried activity happening in the couture circles of New Delhi. It is a logical (not to say prudent) inference that it must be so, and if it is not so then it should be so.
The reason is simple. If the Indian PM does not want Agra- 2001 repeated, the first step must be — CBMs, etc, are all secondary — to spruce up the wardrobe. There is an immediate need for the Indian leader to get a couple of designer safari suits (or whatever it is they call it in India) made in the one month left for the SAARC conference in Islamabad.
There are many designers in India to equal (and surpass) the skills of our Amir Adnans and Rizwan Beygs, and the Indian PM must tap all those resources to get his urgent orders of a new wardrobe ensured.
In fact, it is hoped that the ‘reported’ (ah! another ‘safe’ word) “hemming and hawing by India for four months after Prime Minister Jamali’s invitation to Mr Vajpayee to attend the SAARC conference in Islamabad”, was not really a show of aloofness by that worthy nation, but the time it took for the lengthy consultations with designers and tailors whether they can really come up with something in the specific time at hand to ‘combat’ the Pakistani Head of State’s prime weapon (asset?), which is, hold your breath, a designer sherwani.
I am sure the Indians to this day flinch when they recall our President’s ‘white-silk sherwani with zari work on the collar’ when he landed in Delhi, overshadowing the drab grey national suit of the Indian head of state. Their internationally-renowned design industry was mortified that they did not look into the main item on any vain individual’s agenda, and that is: ‘What shall I wear to the party?’ Well, taking a leaf from our esteemed General’s book, they now know very well that the first rule of foreign policy should be ‘the look’.
And then there is also the need for a media coterie — this time under oath not to fall all for charms of any sherwani-clad person — to boost the visiting PM’s image in the international eye. That is where the expected increase in expenditure comes in, and I sincerely hope that the details of who is to pay for whom and other related hospitality charges are pre-decided. We don’t want this meeting falling prey to petty payment disputes at the end of it all. It has already been stated by the Indian officials that the expected media team for the January ’04 Islamabad event will comprise a hundred-member delegation. They aren’t taking any chances, are they?
Well, one can hardly blame the Indians for ensuring a strong press support for themselves this time. They definitely wouldn’t want a repetition of the episode when our general — with his glamorous couture — baffled the Indian leadership, by charming Indian media in India. And that too at breakfast when most men are at their grouchiest.
At the Agra Summit, the Taj Mahal backdrop — a monument of ultimate romance (a partial sentiment, perhaps?) — had also a lot to do with bringing out our General’s most glamorous side. And remembering that, the Indian officials — among other (self) confidence-building measures — should have demanded a very non-romantic setting.
The venue should have been outlined in the CBMs outlined four months ago — somewhere in the NWFP, perhaps! But, come to think of it, the setting anywhere at home for our president doesn’t really matter because he is at his charming best only on international turf. At home, the smiles are forced, the temperament more grouchy and actions unconvincing.
I wonder though, how are we going to equate the massive security arrangements made when our head went to meet their head? The recorded expenditure incurred by the Uttar Pradesh government when President Musharraf went for the Agra Summit in August 2001, was 1.5 billion Indian rupees on security alone.
Our ‘talented’ finance minister might be able to juggle the money out of the federal treasury, but it will probably end up being lavished by him on yet another set of new clothes for the emperor, I mean, the President. The security arrangements are anyway much cheaper and easier to handle in our country. The officials concerned just need to close all roads for all citizens in all sections of the city. Thank God, he won’t be coming to Karachi.
The excitement for the upcoming SAARC conference has already begun to pervade all mediums of the media. Besides going over the wordings of the invitation and acceptance of respective parties a number of times, the various pundits are making countless possible deductions regarding the outcome of the impending visit of the Indian chief to Pakistan.
The pessimists are sceptical whether this attempt to “catch up with the past” will have any worthwhile outcome, whereas the optimists are hoping for a dramatic breakthrough in the impasse that has stood for so long, too long actually, between the two angry nations.
While the stage is being set for loads of political commentary by officionados to come forth; for the pessimists to vent more pessimism “in cracked voices” and for the optimists to wax eloquence over the respective leaders’ greatness, others like me on the sidelines are hopefully waiting for the show to begin, till the curtain goes up in Isloo and the costumes are donned. Let’s keep our fingers crossed till then.
The Indians, to this day, flinch when they recall President Musharraf’s white-silk sherwani when he landed in Delhi for the ill-fated summit. Taking a leaf from his book, they now know very well that the first rule of foreign policy should be ‘the look’ 
