October 12, 2003

Incidents, both on and off the field during the first three One-Dayers, have proven that the PCB still doesn’t have its house in order

UP to the first three One-Day Internationals there have been three observations that I believe have been more significant than everything else that has taken place in the three matches. No matter what the result of the five match rubber, these for me have been poignantly decisive on points that have merited debate for some time now.

My first observation is that in all three matches the South Africans have seemed to lack the enthusiasm for the game. Key players like Pollock, Boucher and Kallis have looked jaded, even disinterested. It appears that the night of the long knives back in March, when South Africa went out because someone got his sums wrong, is taking effect. The manner in which Pollock and Kallis bowled those full length balls to Shoaib Malik when anyone could see his strength was on the on-side, was incomprehensible, coming from players of their calibre and experience. And both of them got out to strokes that showed their thoughts were elsewhere.

There was a hint of frustration among them and it crept up when Mark Boucher was invited to talk at the presentation ceremony on behalf of Graeme Smith. Asked where his captain was, he said something to the effect that he was exhausted and that he had been “passed the buck” to stand in for him. It clearly showed a lack of respect for the skipper, even if it wasn’t meant that way. Being younger than any of his erstwhile colleagues, I suppose Graeme Smith is being told-off as respectfully as possible.

Even in the second game, Pollock seemed to be doing his bit, but no more. It can’t be tiredness because he has had two weeks off from the tour of England as has Kallis; one to be with his wife and first born and the other to be beside his ailing father and then at his funeral. It is clear to me that a lot of the tourists look like children who have been chided into going to a family get-together whereas they would rather be playing computer games.

The second observation arose out of the Hall-Youhana staring contest that took place in mid-pitch during the second One Day. It made me realize just how desperate and helpless the PCB has become in keeping foreigners happy. It was when Andrew Hall stormed towards Youhana with not just fire in the eye but a glowing hatred. It left the McGrath tantrum in the West Indies seem like friendly advice. This was manhandling. If it hadn’t been for the visor on the helmet, Youhana would have been head butted.

And yet no action was taken. In fact none proposed. This tour is fast becoming a farce. Are we sure we have not mixed up this lot with the WWF guys?

When the news came that PCB had decided not to take any action after initial reports that the Chairman and CEO of PCB had decided to protest, it was a lot like being punched in the face and saying “It’s OK, I’m sure it wasn’t meant to hurt.”

Was it that the PCB executives were told that evening that any action would invite retaliation from South African players in the shape of a walk out from the tour? I think it was and I don’t think the tour management committee is totally under control. I do not think the SACB can seriously take action against any player that decides to go back.

After all there have been precedents where players’ views have been respected. The New Zealand Cricket Board had announced this May that any player had the right to drop out of the Sri Lanka trip if he felt he was insecure. The Proteas could have demanded the same. After all, wasn’t it the English who paid them a ‘Hardship Allowance’ after the 1987 tour where Gatting had that row with Shakoor Rana?

As I said before, it’s not as if these guys are in the Bahamas. Being locked up in hotel rooms is not exactly the script tours are famed for. The management and government both are walking a tightrope right through October. You can cut the tension with a string edge.

I think the PCB chose to play down the incident because it seemed that Youhana had initiated the verbals with Hall. This is not to condone the actions of Andrew Hall but I think the issue was fast buried for that reason. It may be that PCB are aware that the ICC has an independent right to take action within five days of the action. Why not let them do the dirty job? Let’s hope Pakistan does not in the process lose their vice-captain for a few games. The way Inzamam is walking these days, Pakistan needs all the probables they have for the leadership role.

But the point then arises: it is the umpires that report misbehaviour on the field, not the host cricket board. As I understand the law, the officials don’t come into it. So why was it that the umpires chose not to report it? The umpires should be under no financial or geo-political pressures. Just like a judge their job is to interpret the law and act upon it blindly.

Mike Proctor’s plea in the McGrath affair was that the matter wasn’t referred to him by the umpires. How is it then that Rashid Latif can be referred to for something that he claims he didn’t know;, Shoaib Akhtar can be suspended for something that he claims he did not do; but McGrath and Hall are not reported for a misdemeanour that millions saw take place live?

The other two observations are issues closer to home. One is that no sooner have we brought back players that contributed to so much despondency and inconsistency over the past four years, than things have started to go wrong for no rhyme or reason. First, Mushtaq Ahmed comes back with no control over the bowling and then Saqlain with none over his run up. A spinner rarely bowls no-balls but Saqlain bowled six. After all those thousands of deliveries and a season with Surrey, it sounds odd, doesn’t it?

Take them away and his loose long hop in what was the last over and Pakistan would have conceded 12 runs less and bowled 46 overs. On that count they would have won on the D/L method. In fact I saw no reason to bowl him when Razzaq, Shoaib and Hafeez had overs left. In fact why play a third off-spinner when Hafeez and Malik had both bowled tight and effective off-spin in the previous two games?

Also, why wasn’t Shabbir played when Gul had been so badly exposed in the previous game? Why wasn’t Kaneria called in when the idea was to replace Mushtaq?

Things have suddenly started getting illogical haven’t they? The moment the lieutenants of the old generals are back, Pakistan are losing again due to unexplainable reasons. Thank you, Rashid. Thank you, young men. You have served your purpose.

I am sure Miandad is about to explode again. Which is one of my other observation on the domestic front. After the silencing of Rashid Latif by stealing away his captaincy, it is clear that Miandad is being cornered. Ever since his vaudeville show at the Lord’s balcony, it has been clear to me that the attention on him, especially as the mastermind has not gone down too well with those who want the limelight all on themselves.

I think the strategy is to shove him behind the scenes. He has apparently been banished from the balcony and I wouldn’t be surprised if as many guards have been assigned to him as to the entire South African squad. But Miandad is once again crying foul. In private he has been heard to be muttering away at all sorts of propositions and at the end of the first game, announced to the media that he had demanded an audience from the PCB Chairman.

I can see where it will lead to. Once again the court will be held and grievances heard. A compromise will be reached but members fanned again. You see, the more the courteous fight, the more dependent they are on the eyes and ears and the less secure they feel which makes them more dependent on the eyes and ears. Does someone care for cricket out there?

In modern times, he who holds the media holds the hill. The day Miandad figures this one out don’t be surprised to find him as a commentator on the airwaves. The scenario is entirely conceivable that one day we’ll see a punching contest live on television. Except that it won’t be between ridiculously costumed, half-naked bozos. It’ll be the Chief Selector and the Coach inside a commentary box, wearing pink and purple ties. Perhaps Rameez will be doing his daily chore of talking sense into them at the expense of some lost hair.

Really, it seems to be coming to that. They’re squabbling like kids on the park, time and again threatening to complain to ‘Pop’ about the mud in the face. Whatever happened to the utopia that was created when the HR man set up job descriptions, lines were drawn and everyone promised to respect each other. Is it that now that the World Cup is history, jobs are secure again and there is a throne to be fought for, all treaties are gone?

Whatever happened to the authorities and responsibilities? For that matter whatever happened to the HR consultant? Is it that HR stands for Hire and Retire? There seems to be chaos again in the corridors of power. I think we have more serious issues than getting cricket teams to come here. We need to master the man-management game before we can think of mastering the tour-management.

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