The King and his men are having a tough time putting the Humpty Dumpty together again. Is it because the King doesn’t know what he is doing?
LIKE the Humpty Dumpty in the nursery rhyme, here in Pakistan we have a humpty dumpty as well. It is the Pakistan Cricket Team.
Like the fabled humpty dumpty, our team has managed to get itself perched on the top every now and then. However, it has never managed to stay there. And all the kings of their times, and their men, have done their level best to put together a humpty dumpty that will stay together and remain on the top. But as we know it, they have never succeeded in the task.
A similar effort is underway by the present king who with the help of his men is burning midnight oil to put his humpty dumpty, who had a rather nasty fall in Africa, together again. We must, however, remember that the present king only cares for the efforts being made and is not particularly worried about the results.
Another story that fits the picture here is that of the monkey who somehow became king of the jungle. But one day when he was asked by Mr and Mrs Grizzly to cure their ailing cub, all the monkey could do was jump from one treetop to another. While his royal highness was busy in his antics the Grizzlies found, to their horror, that their newborn was no longer breathing. They looked up and cried, “Your majesty, do something, our baby is no longer breathing!” The king replied with utmost disdain: “Quiet you fools, don’t you see I am making an effort?”
Cricket is that baby that has been in despair for a long time — three years and seven months to be exact. And every time we, the guardians, draw His Majesty’s attention to the deteriorating health of our ward, we are told that all efforts are being made to resuscitate our suffocating babe-in-arms.
Just the other day, the King flanked by his henchmen was witnessed telling his subjects that no matter how long it takes he is bent upon putting this Humpty Dumpty together again. He basked in glory; as a King must. But his men, Ramiz and Aamir, with a forlorn look on their faces looked anything but confident. It was quite apparent that they did not share their King’s optimism. Their body language — a defeatist attitude; hallmark of their entire career was little more than obvious on the stage that they shared with their ‘King’.
Looking at their solemn faces one could be misled to believe that they had just returned from the graveyard after burying their best friend. Their faces remind one of the pretence that you find on the faces of the neighbours and the acquaintances on the qul of a person who has died at a ripe age of ninety.
Ramiz and Aamir have their work cut out for themselves; thus the long faces. It was only last week that their King announced that he realized that his “men” are not ideally suited to put the “Humpty Dumpty” together again and do not have the necessary skills. But that was the best the King could do under the circumstances. These ‘physicians’ have a clear mandate: fix the grizzly, indulge in any tree hopping and you are out. Focus on the carrot that dangles ahead of you and at the same time remember the boot that follows you wherever you go, or so they were told.
The boot following these men is not your traditional shoe shop, but of a variety that is capable of kicking many a men to oblivion; a fact known to Ramiz, Aamir and Miandad. Much like working for a seth who would pamper you, feed you, clothe you, give you everything you had ever wanted in life as long as you deliver what he wants you to deliver. But the day that you let him down, not only would he send you packing but he will ensure that you don’t work for his fellow seths again.
Such is the predicament of Aamir in particular; Ramiz in general. And as for Miandad, well he is a seth in his own might and need not to fear banishment.
Out of these three king’s men, Aamir, it seems stands to loose the most. Ramiz has already declared that his present assignment as the CEO of the PCB is on gratis basis; he is keeping his commentating job intact just in case the carrot disappears and the boot comes into play. Miandad being Miandad has categorically stated that the terms of his contract with PCB is a ‘bi-lateral affair’ and no one should be concerned about it; notwithstanding a lucrative contract with PCB, Miandad has enough material resources at his disposal to last for a few life times.
However, one is not so sure about Aamir. His attitude has never won him any friends except Rashid, Waqar and Atta-ur-Rehman. He ended up dumping Waqar and Atta is of no consequence in the present scheme of things. Aamir is the one who should really be seriously thinking of what to do next, if next comes.
In the news this week was a statement by the ‘King’ that he was willing to extend Wasim and ‘other seniors’ a redeeming send off, if they were to retire following the send-off. It was reported that Wasim has accepted the offer and would be making a graceful exist during the South African tour of Pakistan. One wonders why this could not have been done earlier?
Wasim was discarded as hot potato following his return from South Africa; not a single mention of Wasim was made by Aamir, Ramiz, Miandad and of course His Majesty himself. Why change of heart? Popular support maybe?
Fellows it is about time that we plan before we act and think before we plan and not the other way around.
The King and his men are having a tough time putting the Humpty Dumpty together again. Is it because the King doesn’t know what he is doing? 
