Computers are monsters with big heads but no hearts. They do not make mistakes, only blunders. And nobody suspects them until it is too late
Sometimes I feel that there is an innate hostility between a creator and his creation. There are people who do not see eye-to-eye with God, because God did not make them perfect.
Sometimes I wonder if machines might feel the same way toward human beings. When I say machines, I mean all mechanical, electrical and electronic devices made to serve us. Humans are the masters of machines, or so we think. But what if a machine thinks of itself as a slave? It feels extremely happy when it can make its master’s life miserable.
Do you believe that because machines can’t talk or don’t talk back, they are willing workers? I don’t think so. They seem to begrudge every bit of work they do, and never get better with age or practice. The older they get, the ‘grumblier’ they become. The machines that look cute and have the most innocent faces are to be dreaded the most. They know that everything is fair in and war, and often deceive their masters. They pretend that they can work day and night without stopping, but we know better. It is said that he who has a head but no heart is the most dangerous person. It is true with machines too. I think they have no hearts.
Computers, especially, are monsters, with big heads but no hearts. They do not make mistakes, only blunders. You must have heard about the billion dollar errors computers have made in banks. Nobody suspects them until it is too late. They don’t even have the decency to act as a modern Robin Hood, robbing banks and distributing money among the poor and the homeless. No, they rob huge sums of money and cannot spend a single penny. They must be just doing it for fun. They hardly ever apologize.
They are always ‘down’ when you need them most. They play all kinds of tricks on you. Sometimes the cursor gets so stubborn that it does not budge an inch, no matter how much I plead with it or push it or drag it. It sometimes misleads me on my grammar and continuously threatens me with red and green lines. But one point goes in the computers’ favour. They give you a choice, most of the time. Other machines, like vending machines, cheat you shamelessly all the time.
Vending machines also cheat for fun, and as they grow old they learn more and more tricks. They usually ignore the coin in the slot and they just sit there full of candy and stuff, playing dumb. When people punch and thump, I’m sure they secretly giggle to themselves. In return, people always love to cheat a vending machine. One day, I got two sodas after inserting money for one. Instead of feeling sorry or ashamed, I felt triumphant.
Slot machines on which you gamble have the most opportunities to rob the people and they enjoy it tremendously. They let players think that they are going to win the jack pot next time or the next, and laugh to themselves seeing them insert the coins and pull the lever for umpteenth time. You can feel how they chuckle when they see retired people spending all their pensions on machines. Or watch them borrow money from the counters on credit cards and come back to lose again? And how these machines laugh when these same players go back to their hotels or homes without a penny in their pockets!
Now, I can feel friendly towards all sorts of pets, if they are not too close, and I may feel comfortable in a lion’s presence if it is in a cage. I don’t mind a dinosaur if it’s in a picture, but I never feel close to even the cutest machine. The mistrust, I’m sure, is mutual. Machines don’t like me either right from the start. The simplest of machines refuse to be operated by me. The weighing machine, which is called a scale in America for unknown reasons, keeps me confused. As no two doctors agree on a patient’s diagnosis, so no two weighing machines agree on an individual’s weight. Most people consider it a good idea always to weigh themselves on the same machine. But how can we be sure that the dumb thing tells the truth and does not laugh behind our backs as soon as we step down or turn around? Even the lie detectors, because they belong to the same machine family do not always tell the truth.
There is one more thing I hate about machines. They never really get well once they get sick. The funny thing is that once somebody dumps a machine, somebody else picks it up and takes it home believing that it will work better than his own. And, of course, finds otherwise.
That’s true with cars too. It’s like selling ones problem and buying somebody else’s problems. I am sure that machines exchange notes as to how they make fools of us and laugh about how we take them on their face value, proud of how very cunningly they let us do it!
There are people who love their cars, aeroplanes, bikes or computers, but I would not call it real love. If you love a dog or a cat would you change it with a new one every year? Certainly not! But the so-called machine-lovers want to change their machines as soon as a newer model is available. If they love them they love them for the wrong reasons.
That could be the reason the machines hate human beings. If people are not loyal to their machines, why should machines be loyal to them?
I dread the day when all these machines might make a union of their own and put forward the most appalling demands, like getting paid for their services, and overtime for extra work. They might ask for vacations and health benefits. You never know — after all we created them.
