There is a solution to every problem, even that of General Musharraf’s uniform. An experienced tailor should be asked to design a unique dress for the general-president
A bunch of children of yesterday in age group of 55 years and above gathered together under a huge banyan tree at a deserted location in old Clifton. It was their monthly brainstorming session.
On the first Wednesday of each month the group sits together, and indulges in deliberations on a predetermined one-item agenda. The agenda for this month’s brainstorming session was, ‘Common traits among the rulers of Pakistan’. The participants are not permitted to deviate from the topic. Chaotic debates are shunned. When the children of yesterday met on the first Wednesday of this month, they solemnly pledged not to repeat the blunder they had committed during last month’s session.
Last month, the children of yesterday had deliberated on an enigmatic issue whether or not General Pervez Musharraf should take off his military uniform! Some of the members thought it was obscene to compel a person to take off his clothes in public. Uniform directly or indirectly signifies that a person is on duty, and is doing his job. How good a pilot you may be the Aviation authorities won’t let you fly an aeroplane if you are wearing shalwar-qameez! You should be in a pilot’s proper uniform to occupy the captain’s seat in the cabin!
When in Assembly, Pervez Musharraf is not supposed to be wearing a military uniform for he won’t be performing military duties in front of the legislators! Only dunce would expect of him addressing his core commanders and the junior commanding officers from the floor of National Assembly! Therefore, there was no sense in his coming to the National Assembly in a General’s uniform.
The proceedings had suddenly turned chaotic when a child of yesterday remarked, “As General Pervez Musharraf won’t go to the war wearing sherwani, similarly he should refrain from donning military uniform when gracing the Assembly. He should desist from creating awe among the people of Pakistan. After all, he is their salaried General serving in BPS-22, who submits his casual leave application to the Defence Secretary for approval.”
It was then that an elderly child of yesterday floored a wonderful suggestion. He said, “An experienced tailor may be summoned to design a unique dress for General/President Pervez Musharraf. When facing the enemy, he should be viewed wearing a General’s uniform. When facing the Assembly members, he should be seen wearing a President’s sherwani. He is indispensable for Pakistan. Only Allah knows what would happen to the country when, like every mortal, he is summoned to depart from this world!”
“Would the country collapse then?” a lunatic child of yesterday asked.
Before anybody could come out with an answer, the last month’s brainstorming session of the children of yesterday was called off. The participants had evidently deviated from the solitary item of agenda. It left the participants guessing. During soul-searching moments, the children of yesterday realized they ought not to have discussed an everlasting issue whether a person could ever be capable of outliving preordained extinction to remain a ruler till eternity!
Thus, during this month’s brainstorming session the children of yesterday consciously stuck to the single-item agenda. The item for agenda was ‘Common traits among the rulers of Pakistan.’ The organizers carefully conducted the session. The participants were asked not to engage each other in any kind of debate, and exercise brevity and speak one by one. They concentrated on the common traits among all types of rulers Pakistan has endured during the last 55 years. They did not bother whether a ruler was elected, un-elected, back-door entrant, usurper, or one of the ones who on their own decide to be our rulers from time to time, no matter we like them or not.
For the benefit of the children of tomorrow, I reproduce the conclusions reached at the last brainstorming session of the children of yesterday.
1. Anyone who decides to become our ruler appears ill at ease facing cameras and microphones. But, gradually he become accustomed to the electronic gadgets and spends most of his time in front of the television cameras, thinking people like his face and dyed hairstyle.
2. Every ruler believes his predecessors were incompetent and corrupt.
3. Every ruler thinks he is the first and the last competent, honest and patriotic ruler in the history of Pakistan.
4. Each ruler holds his predecessors responsible for the financial, economic, educational, and social chaos in the country.
5. Each ruler considers himself indispensable for Pakistan. If he goes, Pakistan goes.
6. In order to divert the attention of the masses from poverty, lawlessness, unemployment, perpetuation of drug mafia, and haplessness, the rulers raise anti-Indian prank and blow Kashmir issue out of proportion.
7. They keep telling people that Pakistan was passing through most critical period in its history.
8. After grabbing power, each ruler believes he is the wisest, most sagacious, and all-knowing person on earth. He thinks he possesses solution for each and every problem faced by the nation.
9. Lastly, each ruler religiously believes he is synonymous with Pakistan. If you do not like a ruler, it will be presumed you do not like Pakistan. Your dislike for the ruler will be considered connivance with the enemy, a heinous crime against the state! You will be apprehended and tried for treason and sent to the gallows.
