If you think people go to the gym simply to exercise, think again. Most people go there to socialize and be a part of the hip and happening crowd
Lahoris have found a new hobby and they like to call it ‘working out’, which definitely sounds better than calling it plain old ‘exercise’. Everybody who’s anybody goes to a health or fitness club, a fancy name for plain old gym where you work up a sweat and try to get the rolls of fat off. It’s the place to be seen, the place to meet up and gossip, to check out those of the opposite sex... oh and to exercise too, of course!
Had a hard day at work? Go to the gym and let off some steam! Had a tough exam? Go to the gym and work off all the frustration! Had a messy breakup with your soul mate? Go to the gym and find yourself someone new! Want to know whether Saira is going out with Junaid or Asim? Go to the gym and get the latest gossip!
The gym attracts an interesting crowd. You will be sure to find all sorts at the gym: handshaking, backslapping uncles with towels around their necks, trying to recreate a slice of their youth; over made-up, puffy haired aunties with mascara running down their cheeks, eying each other’s clothes from the corner of the eye; the shalwar-kameez-sneaker brigade with dupattas tied like school uniform bands at the hip, happily running on the treadmill; twenty-somethings in slinky gear, getting high on their perfect midriffs and biceps. These are all individuals who are looking for an innovative trend, a new entertainment in their lives, a way to offset the effects of Lahore’s late nights and the guilt of eating too much greasy food.
Fitness freaks have existed for a long time, but this latest group of ‘gymmers’ is a new breed all together. They go to the gym to be seen and to socialize. A few days in the gym are enough to know all there is to know about everyone’s life. There’s the Obese Aunty who always discusses other people’s lives while working up a horrendous amount of sweat and odour on the treadmill. She has also taken up yoga, aerobics and swimming because she knows that’s where the crowd goes nowadays. Of course, this does not take away the fact that her body shape doesn’t change, no matter how much she exercises, perhaps because right after the gym she goes to her social gatherings, which inevitably involve food, food and more food.
Then, of course, there’s always a Perpetually Made-up Aunty in every gym who has a perfect figure and is damn proud of it. She is in great shape, looking in her prime despite the fact that she’s hitting 50. Her hair is streaked and coloured to perfection and fluffed just right, and her glowing skin has a suspicious tightness that can only be achieved through the help of a skillful plastic surgeon. It’s a wonder her foundation remains intact while she pounds away on the machines.
And let’s not forget the Macho Guy who constantly checks himself out in the mirrors. People of all shapes and sizes always surround him and he is forever advising them on how to use the various machines. He looks at women around him and unconsciously his biceps curl, his chest thrusts forward and his chin takes on a jaunty angle. He always asks any female who ventures near the dumbbells if she needs help. He is usually turned down but that does not faze him. Macho Guy doesn’t walk — he struts. He’s the veritable Johnny Bravo of the gym and there’s no escaping him, for he will try to show his strength and dexterity to both men and women, whenever he gets even the remotest chance.
To add mirch to the masala, there’s his female counterpart, Perky Girl. She saunters in, jaunty her ponytail flip-flopping prettily. She oozes confidence and smugness. Her body-hugging Nike spandex top and loose-but-not-loose-enough-to-hide-perfect-thighs tracks sculpt a flawless body. With a pristine white towel folded casually around her neck, she makes her way into the gym, knowing every eye is on her. Lazily, she stretches both arms over the head, then bends at the waist and touches her feet. Perky Girl is the bane of every woman’s existence and several eyes can be seen rolling, and smug ‘we know what she is but we won’t say it out loud’ smiles are exchanged.
Perky Girl usually sets off Fat Girl who is busy heaving weights, panting and sweating, enviously glaring at the perfect thighs on her rival. Fat Girl exercises like there’s no tomorrow but for some insane reason, it doesn’t show. Maybe it’s because she loves food — she certainly talks about it enough. She is probably the friendliest soul around, sharing brave stories of her many weight losses and gains over the years. She is every girl’s confidante and every boy’s best friend and can often be seen conversing and networking all over the gym, flashing her big, friendly smile.
Of course, no gym is complete without the Stud Uncle who thinks he’s God’s gift to (young) women. He wears a fitted muscle-shirt and shorts, hangs out with the young guys and eyes all women he can possibly manage to squeeze into his line of vision. He stops every once in a while to flirt with the receptionist and also does a little jig in the middle of the gym when his favourite song comes up. He is 50 going on 15.
And then, naturally, there are those for whom the gym is a home away from home, the opponents of the social-gym-butterflies: the Real Fitness Freaks. These people have nothing but contempt for the crowd who has taken up ‘gymming’ as a social exercise. These are the diligent men and women who will do anything to get the newcomers out on their not-so-pretty backsides.
Silent, restrained, focused — that’s how the Real Fitness Freaks can be described. They don’t look around, nor do they talk to anyone — they hardly even smile. Their entire focus is their body and how many miles they can run on the treadmill. Very infrequently they address the personal trainers, but that too only when it’s completely necessary, otherwise they are content with their headphones and walkmans.
Aside from these regulars, which can be easily classified, there are those who saunter in and out every couple of days, who can fall in any of the described categories or can be a whole new category in themselves. Nevertheless, whichever machine you approach, whichever corner you venture towards, you will be sure to be entertained.
The gym’s a great place to go to if you want to catch all the latest happenings and be a part of the action. So, pack your gear, put on those sneakers and make your way to the nearest fitness club — you never know whom you might meet or what you might learn there!
If you think people go to the gym simply to exercise, think again. Most people go there to socialize and be a part of the hip and happening crowd 
