IF you are an advocate of woman’s lib; do not try it at home. The slogan sounds supreme and sublime, but factually surfeit and strychnine. Before marriage, I was an ardent supporter of the doctrine. My mental development was in rural circumstances, where I saw womenfolk suffering in all spheres of life. As generally mentioned, 80 per cent of the population of the subcontinent lives in villages, and it is supposed that women of the subcontinent are more abused than in any other continent of the world.
Rural women, either through their fear of social stigma or total ignorance of the law, are relatively more abused and violated than their counterparts in the urban sector. Particularly, this is the main reason for such social behaviour, as customary belief has it that men are superior and women must be chastised. Thousands of NGOs are spread all over the world, out of which 50pc or more are for the emancipation of women from their male partners or male-dominated society. One such NGO, Baachte Shekha (learning to survive), is in Bangladesh and produced a poster in Bangla. It depicted a woman with eight arms, each doing a different chore — cradling a baby, sweeping the yard, winnowing rice, feeding chickens, cooking, etc. In the corner, her husband sits on his haunches with a contemptuous look on his face and smoking a hookah. The caption on the poster reads: “My wife does no work at all.”
Whether Bangladesh, Pakistan or India, in rural society, poverty, illiteracy and fear of God keep women subjugated to a life of drudgery and near-slavery. In a strong patriarchal atmosphere, where everything that goes wrong — inability to produce sons, lack of food, large number of offspring — is always their fault and the burden of punishment is borne by them. Even after banning the Hindu ritual of Sati (the Hindu widow immolates herself on the funeral pyre of her husband), thousands of women are burnt every year who do not bring dower in India. Thousands are sold in the subcontinent from one country to the other.
Now, with the arrival of the electronic media, all kinds of deprivation, degradation, dejection, dispossession, depression, disgrace and maltreatment can be seen all over the world with this comparatively weak, cute, beautiful and attractive half part of humanity. Why it is so? It is the truth or merely an over-exaggerated propaganda? It may not be the whole truth as it seems so, because male sufferings and suppression are generally overlooked and never publicized. However, female oppression is more and reasons for that are wide and varied. The motive may be different in each case, it may not be only male chauvinism to prove his superiority. It may be money, sexual spur, political incentive, religious stimulus, home or family differences, feminine inciting, angry provocation, property disputes, love and marriage matters, or any other. Only men cannot be blamed.
A woman is such a complex and complicated being that philosophers through the ages have failed to agree on her definition. Allama Iqbal said: “Wajood-e-zun say hai kainat mein rang.” (The world is colourful owing to the presence of women). On the other hand, some declared her the root cause of all troubles, quarrels, disputes, battles and wars waged in the world. In English literature, too, we find “that Helen’s was the face for which a thousand ships were launched, to topple the topless towers of Troy” (Trojan wars). Some mingled herewith two other, land and wealth — “Zun-zameen-zir.”
My wife, when we became newlyweds, was innocent, humble and soft-spoken. Her disposition was submissive, meek and docile. I started encouraging her to open up and be free, frank and courageous, as I believe in equality of the sexes. She performed her duties such as housework, chores, taking care of children with fervour, zeal and enthusiasm.
Every advice was cheerfully accepted by her and even on request, did not accept the charge of the financial matters at home and used to say that money must be with the man. Her obedience was of such a high scale that she seemed a symbol of eastern feminism. Cooking, sweeping, washing, cleaning — she did it all herself from dawn to dusk, to please me and make me happy. I thought she possessed an inferiority complex; while walking she was one step behind me and this embarrassed me. I never lost hope, as an eager and passionate supporter of woman’s liberty, and continued working on her.
Now, after 20 years, things have changed altogether. She has a superiority complex. She walks two steps ahead of me. All financial matters are in her hand. She shouts at the top of her voice, not only on servants and children, but me, too.
The sweeper, laundry man and maids comprise the work force at home, all of whom she commands arrogantly.
She has mutated from a simple, harmless compassionate person to one hard-as-nails. Playing pranks, tricks and conspiracies have become a part of her nature. I am left disillusioned with such false perceptions.
IF you are an advocate of woman’s lib; do not try it at home. The slogan sounds supreme and sublime, but factually surfeit and strychnine. Before marriage, I was an ardent supporter of the doctrine. My mental development was in rural circumstances, where I saw womenfolk suffering in all spheres of life. As generally mentioned, 80 per cent of the population of the subcontinent lives in villages, and it is supposed that women of the subcontinent are more abused than in any other continent of the world.
