With long queues at polling stations to the news footage of voters travelling long distances to fulfill their patriotic duty, have we really ushered in a new era in democracy?
The circus came to town again this fall. We were asked to queue up under the mild autumn sun, smile into the cameras for the benefit of satellite viewers, and inform the international news media that, as tried and tested democrats, we were there to exercise our right of franchise. And if we got a hearty breakfast of halwa puri (at the expense of Party X’s canvassing team), who were we to look a gift horse in the mouth?
In the evening, we got the obligatory news footage of the quadriplegic grandmother being carried to the polling station by a (somewhat reluctant) grandson, thereby (supposedly) reinforcing our image as a politically-conscious and responsible nation. This was accompanied by equally obligatory footage of on-the-spot interviews with various hicks on why they’d all turned out to vote in such “unprecedented” numbers.
Their rather knee-jerk response that they had all travelled on a tractor trolley for three hours to get to the polling station because it was their democratic duty to vote (notice, dear viewer, that the “why” has not been answered) was drowned out by a smug field reporter awkwardly talking into a two-foot tall microphone about how the enthusiasm and discipline witnessed at the polling station was a glaring testimony to the democratic spirit of the people of Pakistan, ending with an equally awkward confession that “this is Frog Face, reporting live from Tando Lah-Lah for EeeTeeVee News.”
And so we “ushered in a new era in responsible democracy.”
Or did we?
I have no desire to vent my spleen on the desirability or otherwise of the National Security Council. Better spleens have vented greener bile on the issue upto and since October 10, 2002. The sole cause of my anxiety remains whether this time around I, Mr Everyman Layabout, Esquire, will be allowed to participate in the process of making laws that govern my life, howsoever remote that participation may be.
A few weeks before the election, I met a very pleasant young woman who was adamant that I send a certain candidate to Parliament because, paradoxically, he had no parliamentary experience and was, by inference, “untainted.” Manifestoes, agenda, platforms and planks never got mentioned in her exhortations to participate in the democratic process.
And so, I should have voted for Mr X, not because I expected him to make better laws and consult me while doing it, not even because I expected him to arrange for paved streets and manhole covers to be provided, but because I expected him to be honest. Pleasant young women have such pleasant ways of looking at life.
Unfortunately, she has had to be disappointed again. Mr X did get elected, albeit alone, and has therefore joined that rather illustrious club of single member parties in Parliament who occasionally rise, during parliamentary debate, to act as the “conscience of the people”, make well-written speeches with theatrical aplomb, and eventually reseat themselves to secretly bask in the misconception that they have contributed to the welfare of the nation. And, therefore, we will not get a house of talented, dedicated, honest men (and women) that the young woman promised us.
The bottom-up approach to educate the people of Pakistan in the process of electoral democracy didn’t quite clarify exactly whose bottom it was that was going to go up. And we ended up bestowing Nazim-hood on miniature caricatures of exactly the sort of people we were supposed to prevent from returning to politics. The result of the masquerade has been that the greased whiskers, flared nostrils, billowy shalwars and macho swagger are all back in force, challenged only by a much larger than expected showing of the Turban brigade. The precariously-hung Parliament ensures that I shall remain as far removed as I have always been from the miracle of bringing forth into this world a piece of legislation. And this will constitute our excuse for democracy.
The problem is that there isn’t any other kind available. An electorate that continues to subsist in abject misery under an iron-clad feudal/tribal societal construct cannot be relied upon to exercise its right of franchise with any degree of freedom and without coercion. The very low level of urbanization has ensured that the so-called literate and urbanized population remain, because of their meagre representation, superfluous to the election of parliaments and formation of cabinets. On the other hand, the votes having been cast, the rural hordes are immediately reduced to their normal state of irrelevance to responsive and accountable democracy. And we have, therefore, been blessed this time around with an assembly of “graduates” who embarrassed themselves and the country on their very first day by repeating the Speaker’s instructions to speak out their names while taking the oath.
However, the grovelling “assurances” from the government that followed the “displeasure” conveyed by the World Bank at the Prime Minister’s decision to reduce power rates by a miserly 12 paisa were far more embarrassing. This, undoubtedly, is in addition to the displeasure expressed by them at the CBR’s recent poor performance in taxing me to the bone to generate revenue. (I always thought “displeasure” was the prerogative of the executive!) It unfortunately appears, therefore, that fiscal policy and its execution, howsoever directly it may affect me, is once again to be dictated by “everyone and his cousin”, but myself. Not that my absence from the process will get noticed. The more things have supposedly changed, the more they have stayed the same.
And in more ways than one! I have already had my way blocked by my very first executive motorcade, complete with fluttering flags and screaming sirens, for an entire four hours. Furthermore, I am happy to observe that the police, under the new city government system, continued to harass “the hungry and the naked” during these four hours as obnoxiously as they did under the Police Act of 1862. In the meanwhile, internal policing of the country has been entrusted to the “thoroughly professional and reliable” agents of the Federal Bureau of Intimidation, operating here on an open-ended “invitation.” Notwithstanding of course that we have a fully-staffed Ministry of the Interior of our own, managed by an avowedly patriotic minister.
The scramble for ministries is almost complete, and the same amount of work will now remain similarly undone by thrice the number of ministers and advisors, as were available to our self-appointed custodian of democracy. The sale of 4WD vehicles and laundry grade starch should also soar in the near future, but may depend in large measure on the importance and size of the various new ministries created “in the interests of democracy and effective management.” Although, I am told that those ubiquitous green plates with gold lettering have already reappeared on the 4WD fashion scene, and many a MNA has been recently found parked in Islamabad, often in no-parking zones.
It is early still, but we may soon also be blessed with a new popular slogan for the age, following as it will on the heels of such illustrious precursors as “The New Social Contract”, “Good Governance” and “Pakistan First”. So many graduates sitting together and having little to do besides twiddling their thumbs (so planneth our multi-lateral donor of last resort) should be able to come up with at least that. Prayers have already been held for the downfall of three assorted sovereign states, and more surprisingly, for the soul of a convicted and self-confessed murderer. Mercifully, the cleric who almost became Prime Minister and now sits in an opposition brimming with also-rans can do little else for now, and we are spared the ignominy of having to witness the public hanging of a TV set as his first executive action. Although I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if that, too, were to come to pass before my innings is over.
Epiloque: My recently concluded “re-education” on the subject of democracy has helped me to understand that, elections having been concluded, the exercise consists primarily of negotiating the release of convicts jailed by the judiciary of the country, and the withdrawal of corruption cases filed by an agency created for this sole purpose, so that the process of government and cabinet formation may be consummated. This is invariably followed by the creation of lavish “development” grants to be disbursed by the newly-elected members of the house. The flow of funds, and eventual disappearance thereof, continues for anywhere from 24 to 36 months, after which the government is removed on charges ranging from ineptitude to grand fraud to high treason. A supra-constitutional hiatus of a few months occurs, following which elections are held and the circus comes to town again. I am afraid to acknowledge it but we may indeed have got the democracy we asked for.
With long queues at polling stations to the news footage of voters travelling long distances to fulfill their patriotic duty, have we really ushered in a new era in democracy? 
