Once I went along with my husband for his hearing test. We were told that that we can have a free olfactory test if we want to. Since I had never heard of that test before, I joined the line only to see what it was all about. Soon, from the conversation taking place in line, I came to know that it was a nose test. I don’t know why they gave such a cumbersome name to a simple word like nose.
That was the first time I gave lot of thought to the nose, which is the most uplifted thing on everybody’s face. Babies always notice it first and want to grab it for support, or to play with. Younger kids always notice it too, and want to know the name of the ‘thing’ on your face. They are so nosey, you know. There are noses and there are noses: big noses, small noses, hook-noses, parrot-noses, snubbed noses, Roman noses and no noses.
‘Nose in the air’ means haughty. In some parts of the world, the word nose is a symbol of courage, prestige and ego. A ‘high-nosed’ person means he has a position in society, and he would not budge an inch. Cutting a nose means being humiliated. In those countries, they actually cut the noses of women who commit adultery. Noses have been pierced and nose rings worn since the time when there were only two jobs in the world: hunting and mothering.
Finally, my turn came. The test was very simple. They gave me different scents to smell, and I identified them. Fair enough. I am very fond of perfumes and always thought that I had a profound sense of smell until I found otherwise.
A few days later, I received a post card telling me that I had a very poor result of my test — F. Now, I don’t take failures lightly. A card, sent through the mail for anyone to see that I have a very defective nose was humiliating. I was devastated. I knew that there are people who are short-sighted or hard of hearing, but I have never known a person who, like me, is short-smelled or have a defective olfactory sense. Now, I suppose, I would have to wear something in my nose like a hearing aid, or something on both my nostrils like the eyeglasses.
When I called the doctor’s office about my test results, the nurse told me that I would have to see the doctor for further tests.
“But I can smell very well,” I protested. “I had never had any problem with my nose as I had had with my eyes.”
“Let me see,” she said, “When you smelled the fragrance of rose you wrote apple.”
“Aren’t those two scents somewhat similar?” I said. “And in another one you wrote banana instead of mint.”
“Look, maybe I mixed the name and numbers, or somebody mixed them in the lab as they do with DNA tests all the time.”
“Come in Tuesday at 10 o’clock, and we’ll see to it,” she said.
“Oh, no. I wouldn’t be able to make it, because on Tuesday, at 10 o’clock, there is an Olfactory Contest in our Multi-Cultural-Gourmet-Kitchen-Club, and I’m one of the judges.”
And with that I hung up on the whole nose business.
Once I went along with my husband for his hearing test. We were told that that we can have a free olfactory test if we want to. Since I had never heard of that test before, I joined the line only to see what it was all about. Soon, from the conversation taking place in line, I came to know that it was a nose test. I don’t know why they gave such a cumbersome name to a simple word like nose.
