Caution: Parental guidance is advised, but age is no limit.
Exams have never been easier to take. It requires a steel-enforced soul and a razor-sharp brain to get through them. You may enjoin the company of those who topped internals, work in libraries with college assets, but what I am going to tell you is something which no one will ever tell you. Call them secrets straight out of Einstein’s closet or extraction of intellect and astuteness from the ones whose names you have read on the Hall of Fame of academics.
Ladies and gentlemen! I welcome you to a journey into the ways, methods, techniques, tactics and success (forget the word called failure) in the world of exams. Read on and be enlightened, for I have tested and approved of these commandants to be sealed for the ones who want to be news-makers and board-breakers.
* Always remember the basic rule — study. The higher you jump, the harder you’ll fall, so don’t study too much. When your eyelids feel heavy (it happens whenever there’s a book nearby), try giving your eyes a bit of rest. This doesn’t mean you go to sleep or douse them with cold water. Switch on the TV for some catwalk on FTV or Deejay TV. Even an elephant on the National Geographic Channel will rest your eyes.
* Don’t forget the story you wrote in fourth grade about doing good and having good done to you in return. Give all your handouts and notes to the guy you hated most in class. This will elevate your soul and might bring you Nirvana.
* Perseverance commands success. So better make some 40-60 timetables before you begin to study, as this is the best thing you can do during your prep holidays. Try to fill them with various colours as it wastes more time. Paste it in a place where you can see it easily, as before you begin to study you have to re-revise it repeatedly. And secondly, it will be easier for you to dream of passing the exams.
* Before you start, better spread all your books on the floor. This will help you in two ways. One, by not evoking parental cruise missile-attacks on you by PLS (pesky little sibling). Lastly, it will help you stay awake.
If you forget all you managed to learn during exams, don’t worry. Just peep here and there, take a big yawn to turn you head back and copy, or drop your pen near someone’s desk.
* A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. So, go out and have a big breakfast — like a dozen puris with halwa and some lassi on the day of the exam.
* Here is a tip straight from statistical and mathematical minds, called the GPA trick. Let’s imagine that you have not taken any class of Linear Algebra throughout the year and you are hoping for a top seat in class. All you have to do is throw a pizza party with some cool babes at you place. Don’t forget to invite the best student in your class. Let them rock and roll all night. Next day, you will be the only one to turn up for the exam.
* Don’t cheat answers from others papers. There is no point in looking at others’ answer sheets when you have your own stuff with you. Self-sufficiency is the first step to success.
(The author has tremendous previous academic record. He has never won an academic distinction before, but his friends have. This shows that he is excellent company. The author will soon be writing a book, 999 ways for tortoises to win Formula 1 Grand Prix. The author is currently preparing for an exam, so wish him the best of luck).
