September 1, 2002

Harassment of women, in one form or the other, is much more common than we realize, as inferred from a survey. Domestic violence is a social problem that is considered simply a feminist issue and ignored

Domestic violence or harassment is a part of many households in Pakistan. And, it is the females who are usually at the receiving end in most cases of harassment.

A survey was carried out by some teachers and students of Sindh Medical College, Karachi, which focused on the occurrence of domestic harassment in the society. A questionnaire was distributed to housewives belonging to different sections of our society. The size of the sample population was 678. The results revealed some shocking statistics which are alarming enough to give food for thought, not only to the lawmakers but also to the whole society.

Let us look into what harassment is and what are its types, causes, psychology that underlies harassment, outcomes of such acts on the perpetrator and the victim, etc. To harass somebody in literal terms means to trouble him/her or to attack repeatedly in different manners as to hurt the person. The Pakistani woman is the target of different types of harassment during different stages of her life. She remains the centre for the disposal of all the hatred that actually results from men’s notion of their superiority. The focus here is basically on the harassment experienced by married women, so the women being referred to here mean married women.

There are different types of harassment that women go through. Verbal abuse has the largest percentage of occurrence. Results from the survey revealed that almost 42 per cent of women, who were questioned, were subjected to verbal abuse. Physical abuse coming second, at 29 per cent, and financial or economical restrictions on women was third, at 22 per cent. Psychological and sexual abuses each were suffered by three per cent.

It is a very grave situation that needs to be addressed, yet nobody speaks of it since it is all kept under wraps due to traditional and cultural norms, or sometimes even religion could become a cause for people overlooking such cases. One needs to look into the ills that a domestic environment based on violence can result into and what can be done to root out this evil from our society.

It is important to note that husbands are not the only ones who are responsible for harassing their wives, although they make up the largest percentage, as the survey revealed. Husbands, as perpetrators of abuse, stood at 40 per cent, whereas 25 per cent of the women complained that their mothers-in-law had abused them. Fathers-in-law and brothers-in-law were also complained against with figures of five per cent and one per cent, respectively. Around 27 per cent of the women also filled up the “others” field, which out mean sisters-in-law, cousins and other relatives of the spouse and, even perhaps, their own children.

Another surprising fact that came to light during this survey was that 37.3 per cent of the women were assaulted even when pregnant. This is the time when they need a lot of care but they suffered during this crucial period.

Since the spouse is mostly the one who commits the deed, it is necessary to analyze what causes aggressive behaviour in men. Aggressiveness could be the result of either the basic personality of that person or due to momentarily loss of temper. The former is permanent and leads to grave scenarios. Aggression is a basic instinct that is inherited by all living beings but the ability to control the aggressive mood is what is lacking here. This could be a disorder too. Mental and psychological disorders and disturbances are definitely linked and hormonal disturbances have also been said to have links to over aggressive behaviour.

The upbringing of kids plays a very important role here. Men from feudal families, where women are accorded a lower status are liable to assault their wives too. Men belonging to educated families in urban settings, who have seen violence in their own households during childhood could also follow in the footsteps of their forefathers. The company of friends, the educational background of the parents, the profession of the parents and the profession of the man also influence the psychology of the individual. Nowadays, TV and other forms of the media has become a major source of information. Adults and Children get influenced by seeing grisly killings, beatings and violence shown in drama serials and movies.

For the second type of aggressive behaviour, that is temporary loss of temper, many factors are involved. It could be due to tension at work, if there is work at all, or other types of stress. Many young men in Pakistan are caught between the demands of raising a family under the burden of inflation and the meagre income they are able to generate. Then, there is large scale unemployment. All this leads to the build up of frustrations not only in men, but also in the wives. Automatically, this leads to arguments and disagreements that when get out of control and may result in the man verbally abusing or battering his wife. Another factor that leads to arguments is incompatibility between personalities of the husband and wife. This is commonly seen in arranged marriages. Whether arranged or love marriages are successful is another debatable topic. But, as seen in perspective of domestic violence, love marriages seem to have lower incidents of it.

Results from the survey show the following statistics to prove some of the above points. Of all the women who complained of being subject to violence, 59 per cent belonged to the lower class families, 22 per cent were from the middle class and 19 per cent from the upper class. This indicates how important a role financial crisis plays in precipitating domestic violence. Some 63 per cent of these women had marriages arranged, whereas 36 per cent had love marriages and a meagre one per cent incident of court marriage was recorded, which actually is also a result of love.

Drugs and addiction of some kind also lead to the aggressive behaviour of men. The survey showed that 48 per cent of husbands were addicted to smoking. Now that proves that people who suffer from stress are more liable to assault their wives. Eighteen per cent were addicted to yet another form of tobacco, which is paan. Another 12 per cent were drug pushers, and 22 per cent of the women filled the “others” field under the husband’s addiction section. This might include naswar, alcohol, etc.

The profession of the husband also reveals a lot about the causes of domestic violence. Profession indicates the educational level of the individual, financial status and the level of stress that the person faces at work. Twenty per cent of the husbands were businessmen, 18 per cent were engineers, 16 per cent were doctors and 12 per cent were in the armed forces. The percentage that ticked the “others” field in this section was 34. It is likely that these 34 per cent belonged to the lower income group, probably clerks, labourers, etc.

Yet another fact requires attention — of the women who claimed to be harassed, 34.6 per cent belonged to a nuclear family structure, whereas 65.4 per cent were pursuing a joint family system. To be fair to men, one has to admit that women are themselves to blame for the mess they are in. Women often suffer from low self-esteem, which is in turn influenced by the educational and family backgrounds, upbringing, peer influence and religious background. In our society, a girl is taught from childhood that her real role in life is to get married and have children. Before marriage, she is told that she has to do everything to keep her husband happy, even at the cost of her life. She is warned against thinking of divorce as it would tarnish the reputation of the family and cause problems for them.

Another common belief is that girls should not be too educated, at least not as educated as their husbands. The basic concept behind this kind of thinking is another misconception that the male is supposed to do all the earning and the girl is to produce his offspring and look after them. Thus, a married woman has to put up with her husband even after she gets battered by him, because she knows that she is not educated enough to financially support herself if she gets divorced. She knows, too, that she cannot go back to her parents’ house as she would not be welcomed there. Results from the survey also indicated the same thing. Wives who win bread and butter for the household are less likely to be abused than those who are simple housewives. In our survey, 37.4 per cent of women were employed.

In our society many parents try to get their daughters married at a very early age. The younger the girl is at the time of marriage, the more insecure, immature and less educated she is. In most cases, the young girl is married to a person who is much older than she is. So, age difference can also lead to incompatibility and problems between husband and wife. Again, the survey supports this with remarkable accuracy. Thirty-three per cent of married women who claimed to have been harassed were in the age group of 15-20 years, 30 per cent of them in the age group 21-30 years, 23 per cent in age group 31-40 years and only 14 per cent were in the age bracket of 40-plus.

After the causes, let us look into the results of domestic violence. The results could be broken homes, shattered relations, low self-esteem for the victim, runaway children and what not. The last two are very closely linked to each other. Abused women lose interest in the household activity, upbringing of their children, etc. Children too get influenced by the violence they see at home — they may runaway, lose respect for their parents or even harass the mother like the way they see their father doing it. The latter scenario, however, occurs very rarely. The children, too, end up with low self-esteem, have lower moral values and are candidates to become perpetrators of domestic violence in their married lives if they are males, or victims if they are females.

Who is at fault? What needs to be done to correct this vicious cycle that is ruining our lives, our society and our children? The simple answer to this question is that we are all at fault. We are not only those who abuse their wives at home, or wives who put up with abuses, but we are also those who just see, read and know everything and still keep our mouths shut. We need to break the silence and do something to stop this evil.

What needs to be done is quite simple. Increase people’s awareness about the harmful effects of domestic violence, educate females and improve the moral values of males. The cultural and religious misconceptions that require women to bear patiently all the misery should be brought to an end. Domestic violence should be declared a crime and laws to protect women against such atrocities should be made and strictly enforced.

So far domestic violence is not considered a crime in Pakistan. The present government has been promising that it would adopt zero tolerance policy over the issue of domestic violence but one wonders when this promise is going to be fulfilled. There should be a special police force to register and look into such cases and help women solve their problems. Besides these, special courts with women judges to deal with cases of domestic violence will also help a lot, as will the establishment of safe homes and shelters, where the abused women can take refuge.

Though joint action and education, this evil can easily be rooted out from the society.

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