I refuse to become yet another anonymous statistic. I joined the female work-force in Pakistan last year, fully conscious of the hurdles a young girl, eager to make out a career for herself, faces in this land of the pure just because of that extra “X” chromosome in her gene code.
There are unsolicited stares, attention, remarks, shoves, et al that ensue once a female decides to brave out on her own in the big, bad world. I had to prepare myself well before venturing out, and I thought I had sufficient ammunition to survive once I stepped out, literally from the ‘haven’ of my ‘chaar diwari’. I did not want to become a topic of gossip and the best way to go about it was to avoid being part of any such badmouthing session myself. If I remained aloof, people would know I mean business and they would not misbehave with me. Just being hundred per cent committed to my work would be my ticket to success. But, it is one thing to device a defence strategy in isolation (at home that is) and another to apply it to a world teeming with the spineless species with the “XY” gene code.
I thought, to earn respect one had to respect others. If you don’t bitch about someone else, he/she would not do so about you. I was wrong. For one thing, men are worse than the much-maligned womenfolk when it comes to idle chitchat, ripping apart a person’s reputation, lazing about and shying from work. They lack that certain drive that makes one strive for excellence. They exaggerate, lie, brag and are rowdily loud in the presence of female colleagues, hoping to make an impression good enough to get a personal relationship going. I presumed (wrongly again, I’m afraid) that if I maintained my distance and stay away from such a crowd, I wouldn’t be dragged into it.
At my workplace, I kept my distance and this resulted in a general feeling of dreaded respect for me. With great patience and reserve, I have managed to keep my cool. In their valued opinion, I may have an attitude but fear eventually gave away to genuine respect shown by some of them. Life and work was as pleasant as anything. But, of course, there are exceptions.
I had a very senior, grey hair ‘Baba’ at the office. He was fond of cracking all sorts of odds jokes that were always in bad taste. He even thought everyone merited an unsolicited comment from him. Just because someone’s middle-aged or more doesn’t warrant automatic respect from others. It is something one earns with time and not age. Sometime back, he left for some other organization. He was not missed by anyone because there was very little work that he did, except for his historic discourses on the topic chosen for the day.
In the meantime, I applied for a job at another office and after an interview I was short-listed for a vacancy. But as luck would have it, the ‘Baba’ was already working there and he opposed my appointment as, in his words, ‘I had an attitude problem’. My excellent academic record, job credentials, commitment to and quality of work — none of these things mattered. What was of concern to the selectors was that I had an attitude.
I probably do have an attitude, and that is my problem. Just because I have decided to step out and become a career women, instead of sweating in the kitchen, doesn’t mean I am looking for fun. I would like to be recognized for my work and not the school shoes that I wear to work (they’re quite practical though). My bosses (both wonderful ladies themselves) would vouch for my professionalism despite the understated appearance in which I report to work. One can deal with the illiterate men out on the streets but how does one manage the educated, white-collared chauvinists?
Do I really have to become accessible to everyone who thinks he is worth a second glance? Should I really giggle at stupid jokes, smile at totally uncalled for remarks just because I don’t want to be labelled as someone with an attitude? I refuse to do so. It is harassment of another kind, the lowest kind actually, for there’s little to be done about it.
But I will not be unnerved. For I believe in doing what is right and such subterfuge tactics shouldn’t discourage me. If I sit home, after the initial disappointments at work because of this disastrous comment, it would mean I’ve lost. I will not be bowed down. I will stand, and stand proud on my own.
