IT was a usual wedding reception. I didn’t know many people there but I was certainly glad and equally stunned, to spot a friend in the assemblage of some ostentatiously dressed girls.
She was looking quite attractive, with long flowing hair down her waist and not to mention her jewellry that perfectly matched her gaudy dress. The reason I was stunned was that she had always advocated that girls should not go out with heads uncovered. I wondered would she have looked the same if she wore that beige coloured scarf of hers, without which she never stepped out of her house?
I approached her and in a friendly way asked her if she had bid farewell to her headgear?
“No, I haven’t. Actually, I don’t wear it to weddings. I only wear it to the university to protect myself from the piercing glances of ‘cheap’ boys and the public. And to protect my hair and skin from sunlight.”
She very honestly, rather innocently apprised me about her hijab kahani. “But don’t you think you need to observe purdah here as well as you are all dolled up and it is a mix-gathering?” was my next question which left her staring me annoyingly. Then she uttered the whole truth, “This is a sober gathering and I want to be myself here, besides I am not too rigid about purdah, hijab, whatever.” This statement hit me because a girl is suppose to wear hijab, headgear that covers her head and shoulders, to make herself not conspicuous in public and in front of namehrams. And if a girl opts for it then should there be any discrimination between those standing on roadside and those sitting inside hotels sleeveless dresses? This was plainly my logic, but I didn’t want to pull her into any odious argument, so I spared her. Obviously she had some reasons for deviating from the purdah policy, which quite justified her pretence of virtue.
But a girl with whom I discussed the same thing, sometime later provided me with a relatively satisfying reasoning. She said, “I too wear scarf when I am on road, amid all types of people. But I don’t wear it on formal occasions. And I don’t feel guilty for that as purdah is optional and I am following a moderate approach towards it. I know I am not revealing myself if I am without it and in no way I dress up provocatively to attract the opposite sex. This I guess serves the basic concept of hijab or purdah which means that you don’t make yourself provocatively prominent.”
My discourse with these girls was surely not intended to cause embarrassment or incite any guilty or uncomfortable feelings. All I wanted was to peep inside the minds of those girls who observe purdah and to know how much they understand the real need and meaning of purdah. That’s all. I have come across several girls who are seen hiding just their hair. Otherwise their skin hugging dresses don’t leave much to the imagination. And they think they are setting a very good example of a purdahdaar girl. I remember having a friend in college who would keep her head covered all the time but never cared to cover her bosom properly! And then there was this other girl who throughout the year hid her locks under a scarf and when it was time for the farewell she got them rolled with glitter sprinkled on it. No wonder we were all impressed to see her shiny silky hair, all thanks to her black scarf.
Cases like this leave me in utter confusion to make a head or tail of the purdah, which neither hides girls completely nor reveals them. Sometimes it is there and at times it just vanishes when more important matters like style and looking chic come into play. The aphorism ‘not all are saints that go to the church’ seems suitable to apply here as it is always not the desire to be chaste that drives girls to wear hijab. Rather there are other attractions involved that convince them. By stating this I absolutely don’t propose to hurt the feelings of those girls who genuinely understand the significance of purdah. But I am referring to the majority of the girls who wear scarf to safeguard their glowing complexion and shiny hair (especially those studying at universities or colleges). Although the real religious spirit and importance of purdah is sometimes there.
There has to be some inner motivation, inspiration encouraged by your personal understanding of the true meaning of the purdah as stated in the Holy Quran. If you don’t get to the bottom of it, don’t practice it by your own will and instead abide by it under someone or something else’s influence, you are likely to take it as a hindrance or something which is forced upon you.
I happen to know of some girls who got attracted to the gracefulness of the scarf and abaiyah clad females. After some months of dripping inside their abaiyahs they realized that the hot and humid weather of Karachi would not let them continue it for long. So it was bye bye abaiyahs without regret. Well, it was not the hot weather to be blamed alone. They also felt uncomfortable for having to wear the same black garb always when they had so many clothes to show off. I guess one has to be consistent and accordant to grin and bear whatever that comes with purdah, if they are serious about it. But this objection of mine was rejected by another girl who maintains that why should such a stern approach be taken towards a thing which is not imposed upon you strictly? It is fine if one tried to carry on the purdah but could not manage it. It is not something on the basis of which you can doubt the girl’s chastity. Well, I have been contemplating these factors that accompany scarf/abaiyha for quite sometime and find myself absolutely confused to decide whether to wear or not to wear it.
IT was a usual wedding reception. I didn’t know many people there but I was certainly glad and equally stunned, to spot a friend in the assemblage of some ostentatiously dressed girls.
