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December 26, 2004
REVIEWS: Not an easy life
Inside the Kingdom opens with a letter that Carmen bin Ladin has addressed to her daughters. The following extract makes it clear that the book has been earmarked to reveal the de-facto subjugation of women in Saudi society:
“...it is my utmost conviction that freedom of thought and expression is the most valuable gift of all. I want you to never take that freedom for granted. I want to reaffirm what you already know: that although material wealth may give pleasure, it is meaningless when it exists in a golden cage — especially when as a woman you cannot do what you want, or be who you want to be.”
Life in any Islamic country in general and Saudi Arabia in particular might not be stifling or subaltern to women who belong to that country, but for women like Carmen who have lived their lives in the open society of the West that change is inimical. Many books have been written after the 9/11 incident in which Osama bin Laden or the Bin Ladin family has been portrayed in a favourable or unfavourable light. Carmen’s book is not on Osama, it is about her life in Saudi Arabia with the man she fell deeply in love — Yeslam bin Ladin.
Osama’s personality has been hinted at. In fact the readers come to know more about him by reading about his wife Najwah, in the chapter ‘Two Mothers-Two Babies’. Najwah dare not disobey Osama’s orders. She would not touch a bottle of water and give it to her child, who has been crying bitterly due to thirst, as Osama disallowed the use of baby bottles. Apart from a few diversions Carmen’s story is her own story.
Carmen’s tone, while writing about Yeslam’s family, is not antagonistic. She introduces Yeslam’s mother as ‘a soft-spoken woman with a sweet round face and darkly dyed hair’. Fawzia, the younger sister, ‘looked like any European teenager, with tight T-shirt, long wavy hair, and tinted sunglasses’. But these people were in Switzerland when they were introduced to Carmen as they had rented one floor of her house for the summer. Life with the same people in Saudi Arabia was a different cup of tea.
In fact Carmen’s introduction to the kingdom was not a very pleasant experience. “The heat was stifling. I could hardly breathe under the thick folds of my abaya. Every movement was slow and awkward. We came down the steps of the plane, and my sister stumbled on the stairs. Everything spilled out of her beauty case, and yet nobody helped her up or picked up anything. She turned to me, a completely black triangle speaking, and said, ‘What is this place?’”
In Saudi Arabia no man could touch her, or even come too close. Carmen’s journey from the green pastures of Switzerland to the deserts of Saudi Arabia was made more difficult because she was not fully prepared for the change. She had imagined an exotic Oriental house similar to her grandmother’s house in Iran; the house she arrived at was a basic house, furnished in poor taste. The refinement and elegance was sadly missing. The cultural shock was too much to absorb and from thence Carmen’s life was a struggle to achieve what was unachievable — freedom of action.
Carmen bin Ladin’s portrayal of Saudi women makes a very interesting study. As viewed by someone who is foreign and impartial, the whole scenario of women and their lives has been explicitly drawn: “The bin Ladin women were like pets kept by their husbands. They were kept shut in their homes, or occasionally accompanied out on special outings. All day long they waited for their husbands to come back — all night long, too sometimes.”
Carmen bin Ladin’s life inside the house was repressive for her. The initial years of married life were blissful as there was socializing, driving, flying, listening to music — everything that made life exciting. In 1976 life took a U-turn for Carmen and her daughter Wafah. According to the author she tried to adjust, to pick up Arabic and blend with her in-laws but the ‘rigmaroles’ of life ‘drove her insane’.
The bin Ladins are ostentatiously rich and have a close relationship with the ruling power which bestows special privileges on them. But as the cliche goes that money cannot buy happiness stands true in the case of Carmen bin Ladin. Yet, due praise should be given to Carmen and Yeslam for standing by each other till the time, when according to Carmen, they had moved to Geneva and Yeslam who had been suffering from psychological problems started behaving erratically.
The readers, by this time, have guessed accurately that this relationship was doomed from the very beginning. It survived so long because it took roots in America and lasted some years in Saudi Arabia as the spark of love was still present. As soon as love flames died down the ugly side of the relationship dawned on the author.
Carmen bin Ladin’s Inside the Kingdom is an honest expression of a woman’s feelings when she finds out that life in the kingdom negated all her beliefs and she felt that the fate of her daughters hung in a balance. By then she realized that deceit had become an integral part of her married life. She accepts her mistakes when she writes:
“I was blind to reality, star struck and foolish, imagining a love story where there was only a struggle for power and dominance. Once I disobeyed, my dreams turned to dust, and my charming prince turned against me: it was all a Saudi fairy tale, and the brunt of my punishment will always be borne by my children.”
Carmen bin Ladin was a misfit in Saudi society, and women like her should think twice before embarking on such a relationship as the differences are manifold and diverse.
Inside the Kingdom: My life in Saudi Arabia
By Carmen bin Ladin
Warner Books. Available with Liberty Books (Pvt) Ltd, 3 Rafiq Plaza, M.R. Kayani Road, Saddar, Karachi. Tel: 021-5683026
Email: libooks@cyber.net.pk Website: www.libertybooks.com
ISBN 0-446-69479-7
206pp. Rs650
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