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February 22, 2004
REVIEWS: The art of dying
Sogyal Rinpoche is one of the foremost and best loved teachers of Tibetan Buddhism in today’s world. Born into a wealthy family, he was sent to a monastery at a very early age, a time-honoured custom in Tibet, and brought up by his first spiritual master, Jamyan Khentse Chokyi Lodro. He escaped with his master during the early Chinese occupation of Tibet, and later studied in Delhi and at Cambridge University. His teaching style is acclaimed for its “ease, humour, warmth and intimacy”, and certainly these qualities are evident in this book, which has sold well over a million copies in more than 22 languages in at least 36 countries of the world.
Take, for example, these words from his preface: “I was a naughty child; none of my tutors were able to discipline me. Whenever they tried to beat me, I would run to my spiritual master and climb up behind him... He would just laugh... Then one day... my tutor pleaded with him, explaining that for my own benefit this could not go on. The next time I fled to hide, my tutor came into the room, did three prostrations to my master, and dragged me out. I remember thinking, as I was hauled out of the room, how strange it was that he did not seem to be afraid of my master.”
In the 425 pages of the book, Sogyal Rinpoche sets out to teach us how to live well in order to know how to die well, how to accept death, and how to help others through the portal. So regardless of one’s preferred or hereditary religion or spiritual tradition, there is much to be learned from him if one reads with an open mind.
Sogyal Rinpoche (Rinpoche means ‘precious one’, and is given to outstanding teachers, amongst others) deals at length and in a very practical manner with meditation, which is a term widely misunderstood. How many of us think that to meditate is merely to think deeply about something? He describes in detail three important methods, which are watching the breath, concentrating on an object, and reciting a mantra. He gives as well most relevant advice on the state of the mind during meditation, and on the problems which are commonly encountered.
On page 73 he says, “Sometimes people think that when they meditate there should be no thoughts and emotions at all; and when thoughts and emotions do arise, they become annoyed and exasperated with themselves and think they have failed. Nothing could be further from the truth. There is a Tibetan saying, ‘It’s a tall order to ask for meat without bones, and tea without leaves.’ So long as you have a mind, there will be thoughts and emotions.” The use of the proverb here is typical of his informative, entertaining and friendly style, and he goes on from this point to explain how to deal with these things.
Then, apart from describing these and other aspects of living a good life, Rinpoche presents the most sanguine advice on death and dying. The chapter of “Heart advice for helping the dying” is devoted to sharing the experience with the dying person, showing unconditional love, telling the truth, fears about dying, unfinished business, saying goodbye, dying at home vs dying in hospital. And he contrasts the often calm and harmonious environments of deaths that he witnessed in Tibet with some of those he has seen in the more advanced world.
In this respect he deals at length with life support machines. Not so long ago, most people died at home, but nowadays doctors and families often feel guilty if they do not use life support machines. So he asks, “Is there any point in keeping people artificially alive when they otherwise would die?” Then he quotes from the Dalai Lama, who has said that, “From the Buddhist point of view if a dying person has any chance of having positive, virtuous thoughts it is important — and there is a purpose — for them to live even just a few minutes longer. If there is no such chance... and in addition a lot of money is being spent just to keep someone alive, then there seems to be no point. But each case must be dealt with individually; it is very difficult to generalize.” So what he says is that the quality of the final days or hours of a loved one’s life may be more important than simply keeping him alive artificially.
Sogyal Rinpoche also stresses the need to be allowed to die a humane and dignified death, describing the “spasm of frenzied activity” that frequently surrounds hospital deaths, till “finally, when the last doctor has had enough, this technohysteria comes to an end”. And he goes on to discuss euthanasia, suicide and active euthanasia, which are undergoing thorough scrutiny in the West.
Finally, he dedicates his book “to all beings, living, dying or dead. For all those who are this moment going through the process of dying, may their deaths be peaceful and free of pain and fear. May all those who at this moment are being born, and those who are struggling in this life... meet the teachings and follow the path of wisdom... may whoever reads this book derive rich and unending benefit from it, and may these teachings transform their hearts and minds. This is my prayer.”
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying: A Spiritual Classic from One of the Foremost Interpreters of Tibetan Buddhism to the West
By Sogyal Rinpoche
Rider, 20 Vauxhall Bridge Road, London, UK. Tel: 44-20-7840-8400
ISBN 0-7126-15695
480pp. £10.99
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