Extra! Extra!

Published Nov 19, 2009 12:08pm

Islamabad, November 18: Famous anti-India TV personality, Zion Hamid, was caught yesterday watching Shakuntali, a popular Indian TV soap opera. The discovery was made by one of his fans who Hamid thought was his milkman.

When Hamid opened his door, the fan heard and saw the TV in the background where episode No. 5, 904 of Shakuntali was running. Talking to this reporter, the fan said that he first thought it was a conspiracy, but after noticing the genuine red cap of Hamid, he was astonished.

Shaken, the fan, 23-year-old Abdul Karim, said: ‘I couldn’t believe it! What would Muhammad Bin Qasim think when he gets to hear about this?’

When told by this reporter that Qasim died hundreds of years ago, the fan accused him and his newspaper for working for Blackwater.

‘What you think you fool Mossad, CIA, Raw agent Qasim alive in our minds, hearts and lungs so oh you shut up!’ he added.

Talking to the media after the episode, Hamid accepted that he sometimes watches Indian soaps and that even though he is of the opinion that Hindus are paleed (dirty), there is no harm in watching them on TV because they can’t touch you and can’t cast their shadow over you.

He added that he also watches Indian soaps to decode the hidden plots of the Hindus to destroy Pakistan and Islam.

‘It was by decoding the dialogue of one such Indian TV soap that I was able to discover that the Mumbai attacks were actually planned and executed by Raw and Mossad,’ he explained.

He also said that he predicted the 9/11 attacks as a Zionist conspiracy back in 1996 by watching Dil Walay Dullaniya Lay Jain Gey on his VCD player over and over again.

‘It’s all there,’ he claimed. ‘And the songs aren’t all that bad either.’

Hamid was surrounded by a vocal group of fans at the press conference.

One Barkat Ali told the reporters: ‘What this happening? Attacking great man Zion, oh so brilliant genius zindabad, zindabad you kafir Western conspiracy US agent traitors fool, fool, fool!’

Another, Sharmeen Khan, a 25-year-old university student added: ‘What this nonsense of democracy because it only Hindu, American, Zionist, Papua New Guinnean plot to destroy beloved Pakistian zindabad, zindabad, zindabad!’

Kamran Ghani, a seven-month-old toddler also addressed the press conference. He said, ‘Goo goo gagagaga goo goo … burp!’

The fans then lifted Hamid on their shoulders and carried him to a nearby McDonald’s outlet where they all chanted slogans like ‘Amreeka ki ghulami namazoor’ over a couple of Big Macs, large Cokes and a romantic song sung by Wali Azmat called, ‘I hate Jews Yea, Yea, Yea,’ a song from Azmat’s forthcoming album, ‘Zionists ate my Homework.’

The album is dedicated to all the Taliban who died in American drone attacks. When asked why didn’t he also dedicate the album to all those who’ve died from Taliban’s suicide attacks, Azmat said, that there were no suicide bomb attacks in Pakistan and that all those people we see slaughtered and dismembered on our TV screens actually died from dengue fever. When asked how he can prove this, he said that one should watch the third season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

‘It’s all there,’ he claimed. ‘And the chicks aren’t all that bad either.’

Meanwhile in Lahore, Tehrik-e-Imran chief, Insaaf-e-Khan lauded Zion Hamid’s efforts for decoding vital truths about Hindu conspiracies from Indian soap operas.

Talking to a group of rabid rightwing columnists at his residence, the great Khan said that Pakistan was in great danger from all kinds of plots being hatched by its enemies, especially Asif Zardari Bhutto Zardari Bhutto, Bilawal Zardari Bhutto Zardari, and the ghost of late Benazir Bhutto.

‘This government is sucking the blood of poor Pakistanis,’ he told the rabid rightwing communists all of whom then started to sing the national anthem in unison.

‘This government has sold Pakistan’s strategic and political interests to America!’ Khan added, to which the rabid rightwing columnists started burning George Washington and Abraham Lincoln’s effigies.

Praising the columnists’ bravery, Khan promised them to meet again after he returned from New York where he will undergo a cheekbone operation.

The columnists informed him that they too will be in New York for sightseeing, except for one, who got up and started burning Henry Truman’s effigy. He was the one who failed to secure an American visa.

Khan termed this to be racial discrimination and a CIA conspiracy.

Later in the day, the issue was discussed on a famous TV talk show on a local news channel.

Participating in the show were the incensed columnist, a rabid rightwing reporter, a PPP Minster, and a woman in a burqa.

‘This is an outrage!’ said the reporter. ‘Blackwater is behind this,’ he announced.

When asked how he knew, he picked up a Class One children’s nursery rhymes book and claimed: ‘It’s all here. And the rhymes aren’t all that bad either.’

The PPP Minister, Rehman Malika Zardari Bhutto Zardari, promised that his government will look into the issue, to which the reporter landed a swift punch on Malika’s face.

When Malika’s bodyguards tried to stop the reporter, the talk show’s host accused the government of curbing the freedom of the press.

‘This is an outrage!’ he said. ‘I implore the Army to intervene, overthrow this incompetent government and impose martial law!’

Mr. Malika apologised and started to land punches on his own face saying that the government too believed in the freedom of the press.

This made the reporter very happy who asked Malika to raid book stores and confiscate all secular literature because solutions to Pakistan’s problems lie in jihadi literature.

‘It’s all there!’ he claimed. ‘And the topics aren’t all that bad either.’

Turning to the woman in a burqa, the show’s host asked if she agreed.

‘The real problem lies in women wearing jeans,’ she said.

The host asked her to elaborate, to which she said: ‘The real problem is in women wearing jeans.’

‘Yes, but can you please elaborate?’ asked the host.

‘The real problem lies in women wearing jeans!’ she said again.

‘Please elaborate,’ the host insisted.

‘But that’s all I was asked to say,’ she said.

‘By whom?’ inquired the host.

‘By you!’ she said.

‘This is an outrage!’ said Mr. Malika, and in response, the host punched him and proceeded to burn an American flag. He burned half of it and announced that the other half will be burnt later because he had to catch a flight.

‘To where?’ asked Mr. Malika.

‘California,’ said the host. ‘I have to attend my son’s graduation ceremony.’

nadeem_80x80
Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com.

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.


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Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

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Comments (323) Closed




kiran
Nov 19, 2009 09:19am
what a rubbish, there is a way in between fascists and extremists, I use to read this NFP but what he is doing, making cheap fun of innocent people's blood.
ranvir singh
Nov 19, 2009 09:19am
All said and done. Let us hope that good sense will prevail over with the people across both side of the border and we will start thinking of living side by side with respect to each others culture and social values.
pak
Nov 19, 2009 09:20am
Oh my god. What a pathetic attempt.
momna gull
Nov 19, 2009 09:31am
You know what Mr.NFP. you are senseless you only know how to make fun of our weakness you don't bother if your writing make every anti Pakistani to think that even the intellectual of Pakistan are not supporting Pakistan's strength and weakness.
Tahir
Nov 19, 2009 09:21am
Paracha, You blame him of being a conspiracy theorist but you probably don't have a) the guts to sit infront of him and have a debate. b) Don't have any solid base of this so called 'fan', who turned out to be a "milkman". You are a person who is loving fame from abroad by talking nonsense - what are you looking for? - an Asylum abroad?
Ariston
Nov 19, 2009 09:15am
The King of Pakistani satire. I am laughing like anything. keep them coming and yes I'm Indian.
SD
Nov 19, 2009 09:21am
You are a brave journalist NFP. I like your style of writing. Keep going.
Dalbir
Nov 19, 2009 07:32am
NFP reading your article I somehow cannot help thinking that the day is not far when you'll be barred from writing articles & publishers will face some sort of Censor from Pemra or similar authorities. So much direct plain speaking is not possible even in Indian media .
Soumitra Kandpal
Nov 19, 2009 07:22am
Lol, Good one NFP. We also have a great share of hypocrites and conspiracy theory wala's in India. There is one who beats up people for failing to speak in marathi and sends his children to English medium schools. There are people who think it is a conspiracy against the minority community when a terrorist is killed in the encounter or the government tries to hang them. These people spoil the fabric of the society.
naif
Nov 19, 2009 08:08am
When will you have some common sense in your brain and some Patriotic thoughts so may be you could write some thing Better rather than nonsense. (zaid Hamid) made you look like bad person in the program you did with him. Come on you could do better right? just vacuum some Smoke from your Brain.
bps
Nov 19, 2009 08:08am
NFP. This is brilliant. I laughed & laughed & laughed, rolled over. This is better than even my favourites, Jug Suraiya & Bachi Karkaria of The Times of India who write similar satirical on such extreme people.
Ashish
Nov 19, 2009 08:31am
The point is well taken and noted by your earlier articles - regarding hidden conspiracy by Indians, Israelis and Americans in everything that goes wrong. I generally enjoy reading your take on general mindset and brainwashing. However, some of the remarks in this article are not in very good taste, such as suicide attack victims are victims of dengue fever etc. Please do not include black humor.
Saadi
Nov 19, 2009 08:09am
A very pathetic write up, not expected from Paracha.
Indigo...
Nov 19, 2009 08:11am
hahaha. Awesome Nadeem bhai. Why you are after poor zaid. He is already dying due to India, Israil & America.
Benny George
Nov 19, 2009 08:17am
Excellent observation! I love this article
umair
Nov 19, 2009 08:18am
Hi!! I dont know what NFP has against ZH. I sure would like to see NFP come up with a pack of his own DVDs about world politics !!
Varun Mahajan
Nov 19, 2009 08:21am
Kudos to you!! You are a king of satire. And in these desperate times, this kind of voice is illuminating. And I wish early recovery from terror for Pakistani citizens (and yes, I am from India)
Yasir
Nov 19, 2009 08:27am
hahaha, Nice piece, loving it :)
arun
Nov 19, 2009 08:30am
A nice one. Take care.
mystique
Nov 19, 2009 08:30am
Once again NFP tries to be funny and fails miserably. Have you run out of topics? Seem to be obsessed with Zaid Hamid. We already know how he is, but why are you intent on proving that you are also the same. To the individual that thinks NFP can do a John Stewart. Please don't insult the talented Jew. NFP doesn't have the looks or the comedic skills.
sanjay mittal
Nov 19, 2009 08:58am
Absolutely brilliant! In India too, we have a person called Prakash Karat who sees Israel, America and the west behind every thing. Keep it up. I wish Pakistan had more of the columns so that we could see the more reasonable and funny face of Pakistan !!
kulamarva balakrishna
Nov 19, 2009 08:44am
Vienna,19-11-2009 I appreciate the humor. But the real life is a tragedy boss. Unending, can we do something about it? Haddho gayi,toba toba, baba. Kulamarva Balakrishna
Goga Nalaik
Nov 19, 2009 09:07am
Nice article. Are we ready to wake up? Nadeem, when will you write a complete and detailed article on "Corruption in Pakistan"? It is badly needed. You and Hassan Nisar should create your own free space of expression on the internet. God bless you
verming
Nov 19, 2009 09:11am
Every time I thought that you have given us a masterpiece, a shocker comes which is even better than the best. keep going.
Sumeet
Nov 19, 2009 09:04am
I thoroughly admire your attitude of "my country, my problems, my solutions". This attitude needs a lot of 'clarity of mind' along with the mental toughness. Today every country needs more and more people like you along with your attitude. Though many people may feel that you are ridiculing Pakistan and its people but matter of the fact is, what you say has global appeal, and in your blogs, if Pakistani names are replaced with the names from any other country, the entire blog will reflect same situation of that country. Great blogs, keep posting, if possible more frequently.
Jamil
Nov 19, 2009 09:24am
At first I thought it was some serious stuff but man hilarity at its best hahaha
ALI PAKISTANI
Nov 19, 2009 09:38am
What a waste of time, resources, and space. Just do not waste your time in reading this. The author is as Mr " zion hamid" he talked about. Both representing their extreme ends!!
Aamnah Khan
Nov 19, 2009 07:49am
Fails to influence. All the best for the next one.
AgnosticNFPfan
Nov 19, 2009 07:51am
Now why would you write such an article Nadeem saab? Do you realize you might knock some sense into those people you are trying to make fun of? And do you know the consequence of such self-awakening? You will starve Pakistan of its comical cornucopia. Will you accept moral responsibility when that happens?
NaveedAli
Nov 19, 2009 07:59am
The jist of your article seems to be "The people of Pakistan are hypocrites. And I Nadeem F. Paracha, a sincere lad, is here to defend by beloved homeland and her actions, while living in PAKISTAN.
Tanya
Nov 19, 2009 08:01am
Oh Pakistan, You are so lucky to have NFP. His writing applies across nations. Replace Pakistan and Pakistani characters and its same anywhere else.
omar
Nov 19, 2009 08:04am
Awsome NFP you are a hero. Dawn news, give this man his own jon stewert type daily show right away! seriously though thanks NFP, you give hope that there is some sanity in this country.
Thumbprint
Nov 19, 2009 08:06am
Well written!
Nasir Khan
Nov 19, 2009 08:06am
I am no fan of Hamid, as I do feel that he goes overboard with his conspiracy theories. However, knowing how external powers have interfered in Pakistan's affairs (e.g. NRO), because our corrupt leaders have let them do so, we should not belittle the allegations of Indian or American involvement in Pakistan's internal affairs. I have yet to read any article by Nadeem which shows a positive side of Pakistan.
MadDog
Nov 19, 2009 09:56am
A pathetic piece of writing. I wonder how did he manage to publish this piece of writing here.
KKNIAZI
Nov 19, 2009 09:44am
NFP's compulsive obsession with Zaid Hamid and Imran Khan is never ending. There was no humor, satire or fun in this blog though he tried to highlight the ills of society. I would like to see NFP mentioning about 23000 innocent people got killed in drone attacks with humor as he tells about thousands killed by DENGUE Fever. Cheers, Kaleem
Khalil Laghari
Nov 19, 2009 09:54am
Hilarious once again and right on the target, a kind of hard punch on conspiracy theorists and their fan club :) Keep it up!
Fan of NFP
Nov 19, 2009 09:45am
Sir, You are just mind blowing. Seriously you have just enlightened me of what is going on. Its definitely something which needs birds eye view. Thanks
Aliks
Nov 19, 2009 09:46am
It is only possible in Pakistan that people like NFP can spill out things so bluntly. Seems like NFP is also on special mission to hit Pakistan with his writings.
Salma
Nov 19, 2009 09:57am
Useless Article.
V K
Nov 19, 2009 09:47am
Well written, mind blowing. I thought its some serious and suddenly burst into laughter. Great job sir jee.
Jehangir
Nov 19, 2009 09:48am
Yes he is really a conspiracy theorist with backward approach and outdated ideology. He is either working for some covert organization or has a very narrow mind in his head who cannot think beyond (so called) conspiracies against Pakistan by the nexus of India, Israel and US.
Aryan
Nov 19, 2009 09:49am
I live in England and english people are rightly proud of their sense of humour. This article scores over every other satire I have watched/read for a long time. Do agree with other comment that kindly avoid remark on victims of bombing etc. Pakistan is lucky to have someone like you, trying to bring the middle class out of the deep slumber/denial. Superb article NFP, keep up good work.
mads
Nov 19, 2009 09:49am
When do you know if things are on the mend. Being able to laugh at one self is one such indication. It is also a sign of self confidence. Which is why I was intrigued to find many Pakistani readers found this blog in bad taste. The Indian readers including myself found it funny. But I found it deeply moving too. regards
as
Nov 19, 2009 09:49am
he he :) Amazing satirical prowess you have Mr Nadeem. And I don't know how you muster the courage to say things like this, admirable. But take care, cause when some people are very narrow and things are bad, they can vent frustration on you. And for all those who hated it, he knows its not all untrue, but to bring a perspective a writer needs to touch upon the other extreme, and trust me he agrees that the reality is somewhere in between. Personally, I think the reality is closer to his satire though than to the other. Live well ! Live full!
Yeehaw
Nov 19, 2009 09:50am
NFP I had seen this man, Zaid Hamid, but didn't know what this man was called. Was so happy to find it here. Thanks for the introduction. Cheers
Saqib
Nov 19, 2009 10:05am
Not sure what your problem is brother but whatever it is, its not good. Almost every nation in the world blames other nations/people for some of it's misfortunes. Israel blames all of the Middle East. America blamed Saddam and now blames Radical Islamic terrorists; India blames Pakistan and China, etc. So what
sean
Nov 19, 2009 09:52am
King of contradictions, if you look at NFP's history, but still I enjoy his writings.
GHAZAN KHAN
Nov 19, 2009 09:53am
Zion hamid looks like a brain washed person.
Manan
Nov 19, 2009 09:54am
what a junk ? I can write better.
Usman Lakhani
Nov 19, 2009 10:06am
One of the best articles I have read from you! Usman UK
Naeem, Dublin.
Nov 19, 2009 10:19am
Lol :-) Other great article from NFP, Yes we really need brave people like you despite it that some fanatics keep on ranting about you with irrational theories, myths or conspiracies etc but what we need as nation. This consistent honesty in your writing, which doesn
Ibrahim
Nov 19, 2009 10:23am
Its really a fantastic article. It reminds me of the one who takes out "go America go rallies" but his sons are always queued for visas in American embassy.
Suleman Dani
Nov 19, 2009 10:33am
This is awesome, NFP. :D
Zamarrud khan
Nov 19, 2009 10:44am
Zaid hamid, is after all a human, and might have forgot to switch off his TV set before opening the door for the milkman or probably he mistook his friend for milkman. One cant stop a big laugh after reading the story. Zaid himself too might have enjoyed it very much. A very nice blog.
SHAH ZAIN
Nov 19, 2009 10:36am
Never seen such an intersting article from NFP. Well done NFP.Keep it up.
jibzy
Nov 19, 2009 11:59am
Aah come on folks, treat this as satire at best. I don't subscribe to your views NFP, but liked this one for change. By the way ZH fans should not follow the holier than though doctrine as there are many more respectable people who we forget to pay due honor.
ikhlaque Chan
Nov 19, 2009 12:05pm
Good writing, there are so many ghost infested people in Pakistan. And this form of satire can do a lot of good to those idea makers of Pakistan who thinks that others are ignorant and I know the truth, and what is best for Islam and my great Pakistan. Well to all of you: It is because of your ghostly infested preachings we are in a mess. Pakistan needs tolerance and unity. I do not agree with you, but still I respect you and I am willing to cooperate with others to make Pakistan a strong, educated and tolerant country.
Tala'at hussain
Nov 19, 2009 10:49am
Wow, what a blog. Congrats to Nadeem for such a rare and artistic article.
rauf
Nov 19, 2009 10:54am
Your brilliance knows no bounds NFP. As usual we are prejudice and are in denial as indicated in some of the comments made here. please keep it up.
sak
Nov 19, 2009 10:54am
Nadeem, Your serious articles are well-researched and make more sense. I agree with the argument you make usually, but I don't like your comedy pieces. Try to stick to the serious stuff which you excel at. The satire you throw into your serious pieces is just the right amount, but a full-out comedy doesn't fall through. Just a comment.
Shahryar Ahmed
Nov 19, 2009 10:54am
Brilliant article, loved reading it. I have been following the NFP articles for some time, but this time I had to give him a round of applause for writing this piece. Atleast there are some sane writers left in Pakistan otherwise it seems that our media is ruled by conspiracy loving, fundamentalist hypocrites. A lovely take on all the insane politicians, anchors, columnists, so called defense/political annalists and even brainwashed fundo (burqa/hijab clad) students on the media these days. Great Work.
Abdullah Hussain
Nov 19, 2009 10:54am
I cannot believe that our journalism can slide so very low. A whole story was made out of nothing. What if Lion Hamid was seen watching Indian Soap Opera, there are people here who confessed to drinking liquor and praising them. I think it is time we grow up and concentrate on things that will improve our image as true humans Muslims and Pakistani. Slinging dirt the way it was done by no other than the supposedly well educated and qualified person like NFP speaks a volume of his interest and direction. AH
Afaan
Nov 19, 2009 10:57am
NFP now this is rubbish!
MeezanPakistan
Nov 19, 2009 11:00am
Azmat said, that there were no suicide bomb attacks in Pakistan and that all those people we see slaughtered and dismembered on our TV screens actually died from dengue fever. Bulls-eye! Captures well the mentality most of our brothers and sisters have these days. They are not only in denial, but living a self propagated lie! Top shot, this, Paracha.
zaidhamidkixass
Nov 19, 2009 11:02am
I should apologize in advance but NFP, this was utter crap and a waste of my time. ZION hamid ? you could have done better than that at least. Some guy said, get a job and NFP, I agree get a job. Your secular liberal "the-tv-tells-the-truth" crap is all we need not right now dude, let the guys work out how to rid Pakistan of these evils, and then we can play writing-writing all we want. I wonder, whats is your problem anyways ? no job ? no degree ? something will turn up eventually, don't fret as far as writing is concerned ? really man, people can write far better, far more honest and far more popular pieces, you are pretty much average that's just my opinion. The only thing appealing about your writing is nothing. Sorry, just mindless rubbish to seek attention in a wired-up society. Have a nice day, write something that can be believed upon.
Talha Aziz
Nov 19, 2009 11:05am
Awesome article. A satire which should be an eye opener for many.
faisal
Nov 19, 2009 11:52am
There are people who don
jssidhoo
Nov 19, 2009 11:59am
There is always hope for people who are able to laugh at themselves in adversity. To all those who believe that all these bomb blasts that are taking place in Pakistan are the handwork of the Indian Govt & RAW please don't flatter them India would not be in the mess she is if they were so efficient.
MeezanPakistan
Nov 19, 2009 11:20am
Zammurd: { One cant stop a big laugh after reading the story. Zaid himself too might have enjoyed it very much.} If anyone can prove that Hamid has the humor and ability to laugh at himself, then I will become his fan. But, sadly, I doubt the man has any humor. He's always to busy predicting the apocalypse.
Dunya
Nov 19, 2009 11:27am
After many many years, I finally find a normal civilized and funny article in Dawn. The rest is all, government propaganda stuff, anti-India, America, West, Jews, etc. Seems the whole national identity of the nation is based on hatred of others. And the funniest part is, the hatred is usually against everyone who has been filling the begging bowls of Pakistan and are solely responsible in keeping Pakistanis from dying of hunger. After reading this article, it seems that there is still hope for Pakistan. At least someone deep inside that country is still able to see the world as a normal person and find humor in life. He is truly courageous.
Jyoti
Nov 19, 2009 11:34am
ROFL. Good one :)
Rabia
Nov 19, 2009 11:37am
As usual, NFP's satire hits where it hurts the most. This is typical NFP satire of yore, totally madcap, insane, and yet spot-on. This man never stops to amaze. Always swimming against the tide, and yet coming up in triumph. By the way, Abdullah, it is "Zion Hamid" and not "Lion Hamid." And, dude, this was a piece of satire, and not a real story. Boy oh boy.
Jyoti
Nov 19, 2009 11:40am
ROFL.. :) brilliant
anwar
Nov 19, 2009 11:45am
Simply brilliant, Unmasking the so called champions of patriotism and deeply entrenched hypocrisies in our society.
not a fan of NFP
Nov 19, 2009 12:30pm
NFP. I think it is about time now. How much do you cost? As far as your articles are concerned, they make me want to puke.
Amarnath
Nov 19, 2009 12:23pm
Had a nice laugh reading NFP's piece of mind, as most of the times. Reading the reaction from readers, I was unsuspectingly tickled to no end. ----- Saqib Says: "Almost every nation in the world blames other nations/people for some of it
pramod
Nov 19, 2009 12:25pm
Another blast in Peshawar today, 17 died. Its the sixth in last 11 days in Peshawar itself. More than 100 has died. I am not a great Pakistan fan neither of Pakistani people but still I get disturb whenever I see people dying like that. Specially last week when I saw small kid NFP another great article. Keep writing, if each of your article can wake up few people and make them realize about the reality of taliban then you are contributing for your country.
Hammad
Nov 19, 2009 12:35pm
Well tomorrow you will criticize Imran Khan to talk about Islam and west, after that maybe Justice Rana Bhawan Das for acquiring Masters degree in Islamic studies. Dude just calm down and lower your fires. Just if someone doesn't believe what you do, doesn't always make him a bad guy!
Rida
Nov 19, 2009 12:49pm
I think your blogs are disgusting and I agree with another person who said it makes me puke! I think it's high time you get over the humiliation you faced from Zaid hamid in a news show!
Natasha
Nov 19, 2009 12:53pm
Paracha seems to be obsessed with the rightists. An overly dramatic article. Didn't like it at all.
Mohan Kapur
Nov 19, 2009 05:32pm
Well, is this a soap Pakistani style?? If it is, then it beats the soap of Zion Hamid and also Hameed Gul.
Dinjo
Nov 19, 2009 05:34pm
Well what can I say. Side splitting humor especially the instance where hamid opens his door expecting his milkman:) super opening.
Anees
Nov 19, 2009 05:35pm
Very Good One NFP. I pity many Pakistanis commenting here. They seem to be educated, but never tried to grasp the soul of this article. Never give up.
nasir
Nov 20, 2009 05:18am
Ridiculously nonsense stuff. Its as simple as that.
Aftab kenneth Wilson
Nov 20, 2009 05:24am
Hello NFP, you have injured so many " Birds of the same feather fly together ". Anyway a very entertaining piece of writing ' you said it man '. We have lot of people with "Classical Knowledge". Some are Classical Singers, classical writers and for that matter there are also Classical Politicians, the list of Classical's is very long. There is a new breed which is called Classical Anchors/Columnists. These people have now invented a new " Raag " this is called " Raag Zardari ". It has no timings as other Raags have, you can start singing this any time, any day or in any year which ever suits you better. I hope people with balanced approach towards reality will enjoy with this beautiful piece of writings. May God Bless you NFP.
shakir
Nov 20, 2009 05:26am
Good one. Keep writing.
Nishant
Nov 19, 2009 05:37pm
NFP is a talent. I mean taking on the conservative right in such a humorous way. Do write articles for times of India as well. Mr NP Indians too should get to know a genius like you. Good luck.
ENF
Nov 19, 2009 05:40pm
wow! You must have been higher than an airplane when writing this. Your approach to satire has always failed to impress. Please stick with writing serious stuff where you make far more sense. NF Please.
Jehanzeb
Nov 19, 2009 05:43pm
For Pete's sake this is not satire. Open your eyes Nadeem F. Paracha and read some of the real stuff.
Jodhbir Singh
Nov 20, 2009 12:12pm
Very good satire. During my childhood days. I was also a big fan of PTV dramas.
S
Nov 19, 2009 05:46pm
A world-class satire, no doubt!
Rehan
Nov 19, 2009 05:54pm
Thank Allah for Nadeem Paracha. Preach on brother.
Anas
Nov 19, 2009 05:54pm
Great article sir, I love reading your work, but this one is a jewel. Keep up the good work and keep writing about these very controversial issues of our time. Pakistanis need to hear all this, and you are hitting just the right notes. And I applaud your efforts.
Mad
Nov 19, 2009 05:59pm
Bad article, just like his past one's.
Anwar
Nov 20, 2009 12:02pm
Lol, Very well written. A first satire of some class. I agree the message. We don't have to worry about India as depicted by our army to protect their interests. Our enemies are within us. Tackle them first. For years we have been fooled by these Politico- military establishment and made money keeping the masses poor by blaming India for all our evils. Lets awaken ourselves and say no to these conspiracies. Ordinary people should understand this.
Mohammad Rafiq
Nov 19, 2009 06:01pm
Dear All, Those who criticize Nadeem, can you please answer me why there are endless attacks happening in the land of pure? Pakistanis love to go west and at the same time they could hatch conspiracy theories also which we tell without any solid evidence. For how many days we will deny the problem within ourselves and blame others? Can anyone tell me?
Maria
Nov 19, 2009 06:14pm
Sounds like you're obsessed with Zaid Hamid and Imran Khan but to each his own. With the clear proof of our neighbors interfering in Pakistan's affairs and supporting criminals and terrorists, it seems you are mistaken in your loyalty. Yes Zaid Hamid and his ilk are extreme nationalists but no one doubts the foreign hand which is funding terrorism in Pakistan. Just the other day, the truck driver involved with the Charsadda blast admitted to accepting 40k rupees to park an explosive laden vehicle which killed innocents. Weapons are showing up with foreign markings. That's why the whole nation is committed to kicking out the criminals and terrorists. Maybe Zaid Hamid is into conspiracy theories like most average Pakistanis, but every nation has right wingers with a following. The key is to argue with them in a logical way. I don't agree with a lot of Zaid Hamid says but sometimes there is some truth behind his original proposition. The key is to decipher what's true from exaggeration. If anything, pieces like this which are short on style, reason and facts will make Zaid Hamid sound like an intellectual!
Hari Har
Nov 20, 2009 12:01pm
There are haters and lovers in both countries who sell conspiracy theories, religious intolerance and violence. People of Pakistan, like people of India are great - and that's what matters. Majority in both countries have good will towards each other. The people's power in held to ransom in both countries by politicians, corruption, economic backwardness and similar other reasons. General Kayani's assumption of military leadership in Pakistan has given lot of hope to the people that democracy will flourish again in Pakistan. All Indians regardless of their religious identity wish Pakistan every success.
Izhar
Nov 20, 2009 12:10pm
I typed and erased this message 15 times atleast because I couldn't find the words to describe the pathetic-ness of this article. One of the most arrogant, ignorant and useless piece of work I have ever seen.
saba
Nov 19, 2009 06:23pm
After reading some comments I got to know how full of hate you Pakistanis are. may ALLAH take care of you & your Pakistan.
Jamaal
Nov 19, 2009 06:28pm
Good one, NFP. Going by the comments, there are a large number of right wingers who just cannot resist reading your articles. You should do stand-up comedy with the same topics.
hhaarroonn
Nov 20, 2009 11:16am
Lovely. I think the wicked satire of NFP is just the thing we all need in regular doses to keep sane in these insane times. NFP rocks and so does his bravery to question every stereotype on both sides of the left, the right, the right of the left and the left of the right and he does not even spare the one sitting in the middle. We all must keep the search on for the right parking space.
muhib
Nov 19, 2009 06:30pm
It seems one day he will be thrown out of Pakistan into India. NFP= Not Fit for Publication Note: Even he named his enemy Zaid Hamid as ZION hamid.
usman ashfaq
Nov 20, 2009 11:14am
I think this article aptly describes the personality of Zaid Hamid. The fact is no matter how much I would want to believe his theories, our own government formally accepted in front of the whole world that kasab is Pakistani. We are already lagging behind India in all aspects be it economical or diplomatic and people like Zaid Hamid will only increase that gap. We have been taught in school that we won 1965 war and 1971 war. But when I read international literature on wars, I realize that we have been laughed at all this while as we lost all wars to India. For how long do we want to live in self inflicted ignorance? Why don't we have business leaders like Ambani's & Moorhtys of India ? Its time, that we younger generation of Pakistan get our acts together, get out of this false religious rut and learn from India on how to grow. If our religion was so good then we would have won wars and ours would be a leading economy like India but unfortunately that's not the case.
Rajeev
Nov 19, 2009 06:47pm
Great article! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I saw this chap Hamid's videos on YouTube about the conspiracy theory while Mumbai attacks were still going on. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Now I know. Good to know there are people on the other side who despise Hamid and his ilk. I am your fan NFP.
addie
Nov 20, 2009 11:13am
I am not a fan of Zaid Hamid anyway his history shows he isn't credible at all. But if you look at political history of the world you will find that every country conspires against the other. Its about the survival of nations. We are not a nation anyway. We are a "Hahoom" groups of people in chaos, but it doesn't mean other nations love us because some among them think that we regard them friends. Friendship is an abstract and some what concept, as long as we are on the map other nations will feel threatened by us and we will threatened by others. So conspiracies to undermine each other activities will go on. Now its on us, we want to sleep singing friendship songs go ahead. Good luck.
Dr. Asad Sadick, Germany
Nov 19, 2009 07:18pm
Always appreciated your articles and the sarcasm mixed with truth, but this one was a bit too out. Get back to your original style.
MANSOOR
Nov 20, 2009 10:07am
For the first time, have I thoroughly enjoyed reading NFP's piece which has been truly hilarious to the core. The fact that I don't agree with NFP's viewpoints is not because I m a conservative mullah or a very practicing Muslim, but for the very reason that NFP, sometimes, in trying to throw his viewpoint on the touchy subject of religion, goes overboard, primarily because he belongs to the most famous/infamous right wing forward block. Agreeing here with one Mr Ganesh Adithya, who has suggested that NFP write a similair piece on Bal and Raj Thakerey, would it not be a challenge for NFP if he writes something similar in an Indian newspaper and see how those two react to it.
Ahsan Nisar
Nov 19, 2009 07:44pm
As far as televangelism is concerned, I think Mr. Paracha should watch Western televangelists especially American ones. Than NFP will forget all the Zaid Hamids, Aamir Liaquats and etc.
Awais
Nov 20, 2009 09:59am
Awesome article hehe, we people should learn to address our basic issues For example: weak institutions, no political activity on grass root level resulting in lack of new leaders and bad environment / infrastructure to attract or support investment) and do something to address them instead of enjoying blaming everything on Zion etc and satisfying our collective conscious. Zion hamids and his kind are nothing much but sensational jokers entertaining us by blaming all the bad things that are happening here on other. ts so easy to blame others than to take responsibility and initiating action to rectify the situation. That is the main reason why people like them because its more of a common social practice.
Reluctant Fundamentalist
Nov 19, 2009 07:46pm
The article was a half-hearted attempt at humor so I would suggest NFP to please leave the humor to the comedians. I
North europe
Nov 19, 2009 07:48pm
Good satire nice to read before going to end the day, man watch your back. May be it is hard for many to take from its own people. It was nice to read, humor still prevails in Pakistan in these harsh time.
Arun
Nov 19, 2009 07:52pm
Awesome article, everyone can clearly see that its meant to be funny, so why everyone is getting so serious and excited about? Perhaps you can write an article on this people next time. :) Good work keep it up.
Akabar ali hashim
Nov 20, 2009 09:52am
Zaid is living in the world of illusions. Gone are the days when a few hundred bedouins would conquer Spain by slaughtering women and children in the dark of night and would terrorize the whole population to surrender. Wars are now won by those who are equipped with best technologies and are economically superior. The poorest of the poors should divert their energies to improve their economy then to spend the already scarves brains and material resources on fooling themselves further.
Anoop
Nov 19, 2009 08:00pm
I think its a little disturbing that not many Pakistanis can find the fun side of themselves. We find many columnists in India making fun of personalities back in Home. But, here people take it personally. I guess this intolerance is what NFP is taking about.
Arif Pervaiz
Nov 19, 2009 08:02pm
This is brilliant, Nadeem. You have to put it out in Urdu.
Jaan
Nov 20, 2009 11:29am
Mr. NFP Satire? the piece is overflowing with hatred. I used to appreciate your writing skills but not any more. Far left or far right, neither are good. I am sure you know that.
Muhammad Ahsan Iqbal
Nov 19, 2009 08:20pm
Grow up NFP. Your are wasting your time and others time as well by writing such a worthless articles.
Gadadhari Bhim
Nov 19, 2009 08:28pm
Excellent! We need a similar article in India for politicians like Raj Thackeray. I guess people like Zion Hamid are present in every country.
shub
Nov 19, 2009 08:29pm
Wow, amazing article. People of Pakistan need a great deal of introspection and it gives me an immense pleasure to know that all is not bad in Pakistan. There are still some sane people in Pakistan who have the mind and sensibility to question the no-no in an around themselves. Nice work man.
jai
Nov 19, 2009 08:31pm
Pakistani people are like frog in the well. They just don't try to see the world outside, Excellent article, wake up people its never too late.
mo
Nov 19, 2009 08:34pm
I like the decoding part. hilarious!
sogul
Nov 19, 2009 08:40pm
Mr. Paracha you just made my day!
sogul
Nov 19, 2009 08:45pm
Thanks for standing up against the Zaid Hamid.
Muhammad Shoaib Khan
Nov 19, 2009 08:52pm
Another stinking proof of illiterate mind of this guy. I think we should judge Zaid Hamid on the basis of his stand for Pakistan rather than him watching some Indian drama or a movie. Pakistan burns and here we burn our left over patriots too. I think this writer should look at himself what he has done. What a shame and waste of space he is. ALLAH bless Pakistan.
neerja
Nov 19, 2009 08:59pm
Like those Pakistani who lives in USA, enjoying all sorts of good life, freedom and everything in US. But when they sit together always talks negative about USA! Though most of them have US citizenship too! I think it
coolguy80
Nov 19, 2009 08:59pm
Kaleem said '23000 killed'. Where do you get your figures from? . To guys who are angry come on chill, the article was meant to be a satire.
coolguy80
Nov 19, 2009 09:03pm
And I must say it really requires courage on NFP's part to write this piece and dawn to print it. I think Indian media would not have printed such plain speak
kets
Nov 19, 2009 09:05pm
Hi NFP This is brilliant once again. You rock NFP. Absolutely fantastic......
Rajwinder
Nov 19, 2009 09:35pm
Very well written indeed. I am not surprised that followers of Hamid are upset. Neither humans can stop defecating nor his theories will end. Like most of Bollywood entertains small mind similarly Hamid entertains patriotic Pakistanis. As far as conspiracy theories are concerned it is laughable. A country whose every institution was destroyed by themselves does not need conspiracies by India or US or Israel. Pakistan is at war with itself.
Usman Malik
Nov 19, 2009 09:45pm
Three things: 1. Nadeem's fan base is rightly still across the border in India! Nadeem you should try to immigrate there. 2. Zion Hamid seem to have a "huge" number of fans (no wonder!). 3. Zion Hamid really should stop making our nation more bad by crying conspiracies all the time.
Aftab S. Alam
Nov 19, 2009 09:53pm
Hilarious! Liked that reference to that hating personality of "Zion Hamid". But then why to limit to this 'famous' one - when all it takes it to be famous TV personality here is anti-India (or for that anti-anyone!) stand and we have a large number of such personalities here who have hijacked us all in the name of their brand of religiosity and their persecution mania.
Zohaib Alam
Nov 19, 2009 10:04pm
Message to all Pakistani brothers. Please don't believe this person. I really don't think that this person should be allowed to write in a respectable and esteemed newspaper. Unfortunately I have read his last post too and I am really ashamed calling him a Pakistani.
Jazi B
Nov 19, 2009 10:11pm
I do think that Mr Zahid sometimes exaggerates a bit, but I am of the belief that there is always some truth in his words, to write such words about someone who represents hope to a large amount of Pakistani's in such grim times is not a commendable act, Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, if you cant accept it then keep quiet.
aftab
Nov 19, 2009 10:21pm
This is hilarious article in recent times. I coundnt stop laughing non stop. NFP comes out with best of his satirical article. 5 star for this one. Fantastic bro. Atleast in this way we would introspect ourselves. for all Hamid fans, take a chill pill, relax in your seat and enjoy this article it makes total sense. Aftab
Morbid Isolation
Nov 19, 2009 10:30pm
Conspiracy theories and personal opinions aside. All cognitive bias aside. From one writer to another. This is well below your standard Mr.Paracha. You are a gifted writer and I appreciate your skill immensely but the satire was so unimaginative. Fiction at its worst I must say. I found myself struggling to read till the end so I just used that bar on the right side of my screen to forward through hoping that by the end of this piece you just might have redeemed yourself. Sadly, there was too much emotion involved for it to be good. Emotion is good but something like rage and aggression doesn't necessarily instigate brilliance and creativity in everyone. Will look forward to your next one. We'll pretend this one never happened.
Babar
Nov 19, 2009 10:51pm
JOKES. It amazes me as to how someone can make fun of the current situation and turmoil in such a light hearted way. No wonder we are in a mess like this. Where people with brains have stopped using there brains and are too busy expanding their fan base by demonstrating their bad vocabulary coupled with senseless argument. I have one for you, were you aware at the time of writing this piece that you are actually writing?
Arsalan Kh
Nov 19, 2009 11:26pm
Again a great piece of writing... Sarcasm is done beautifully. I really love it. love the Zoin Hamid and Malika part . Keep rocking NFP.
Sahar Khan
Nov 20, 2009 07:51am
Well I am great fan of yours and most of the times I do not agree with Hamid sahab. But the thing is that. What grudges you have against him? why you are giving people of other countries a point to laugh at us, Zion Hamid. That is a shame NFP you know a Muslim should never be called like this in humiliating ways and Somethings can never be denied that Jews have some clear agenda against Muslims. Its been written in the most Holy Book of this world Quran. I have never been a Hamid's fan but I don't like that bashing thing with frivolous article you wrote. Why you don't write against Isreal? Why you don't took up the issue of that women who was just killed and bashed in Germany? at this point I always say we are hypocrites. Point everyone who is wrong regardless of his religion.
Ha
Nov 20, 2009 12:20am
Excellent. Keep writing NFP.
Malick
Nov 20, 2009 12:23am
Fear Fear Fear, that is what religions are all about. Religion keeps people from obtaining knowledge hence the ignorant masses where ever there is a religion involved in running the national affairs. Religion has been and still is used to keep people silent and follow the corrupt leaders who are just knowledgeable enough to use religion as a tool to secure their power. Religion is not a solution. On this planet of ours those who broke away from religion are living much much better life than those who still believe that living according to ancient traditions is the only way to secure a proper place in after life and that seems to be the only purpose of life for religious fanatics.
SK
Nov 20, 2009 12:33am
Excellent work again Mr. Paracha. Please keep writing so that we have at least some hope of sanity and humanity left in us.
Fan
Nov 20, 2009 12:49am
Epic!
Nadeem Ahmed
Nov 20, 2009 12:57am
This is just plain rubbish; A shallow and purposeless satire that has no constructive element in it. I cannot believe that articles of such standard can be published in this newspaper.
vidhyarthi
Nov 20, 2009 07:38am
Aazad thanks for the link.
vamshidhar
Nov 20, 2009 01:17am
Satirical enough to awaken free minds. This is second article that read of yours, and I think its job nicely done. I was very disappointed when I saw in west's famous newspaper article that some popular pop icons still blaming India, US and Israel. I then started following what Pakistani media is cooking up against India. I felt good after seeing some nice articles in Dawn. Media is very important in playing a role at needy times. Keep up the good work. Never give up for some narrow and discouraged words.
Javed Afridi
Nov 20, 2009 01:55am
Tasteless and horrible article. Expected more from you Paracha.
N. Baig
Nov 20, 2009 01:58am
Hey, if Pakistanis hate the U.S. so much, then why do they keep lining up for visas? Odd that so many people want to go to a country they say is immoral, materialistic, militaristic etc. Wake up Pakistan, it's your homegrown terrorists and not any outside conspiracy that is tearing your land apart. I love Paracha's columns. His voice is playing the role of sanity in a jungle of ludicrous cacophony. Keep up your good work, Mr. Paracha. May you be inspired to write more satire. Someone else commented that you should have a daily show. I say yes! And the sooner the better. Pakistani talk shows need some balance.
Mansoor Siddiqui
Nov 20, 2009 02:04am
Its the worst piece of writing I've ever read. What do you want to say exactly? It is silly, badly written and worst of all: not funny at all. Have yourself examined for "frequent delusions about being a great writer".
Amir
Nov 20, 2009 02:40am
All I believe Mr.Nadeem derive his wages through Zionist media connections, which have recently been penetrating to our national & patriotic electronic media. He doesn't even know how to protect national interest rather he thinks he has good know-how of english (which made him popular among blind readers)
warsi
Nov 20, 2009 03:16am
Lol, NFP has a Zaid Hamid Phobia. Hahaha the guy has lost it.
Zia Jafri
Nov 20, 2009 03:21am
Great piece of work, Paracha! Mind blowing! These people should be punished in front of the masses!
Tala'at hussain
Nov 20, 2009 04:03am
Some of us may not believe the story but all truths have some truths. Therefore it cannot be out rightly rejected as some fans of Zaid have expressed disbelieving. All human beings are loving by nature, it is only vested interests which replaces loves with hates. Zaid might be a loving person by nature and his hates towards non Muslims might be spasmodic which I am sure will subside with passage of time. He just needs to see things from every angle. And viewing Indian movies will certainly broaden his narrowness.
SQ Khan
Nov 20, 2009 04:12am
My adivise to the younger generation here: Please don't have hate as your motto. Hate consume your goodwill, your ability to think straight. We love to hate India as a policy. All our policies are revolving around this. Politicians use this to cling to the power, cover their mistakes, they are misleading the people. But look at Indians, though they don't like us in many ways but they don't hate us. Their policies are not on hate Pakistan, its on economic development no wonder they are one of the fastest growing economy in the world and we are still dragging ourselves to stone age. Young countrymen, focus your thoughts and deed to improve the lives of your fellow countrymen.
Zamarrud khan
Nov 20, 2009 04:24am
If it is true then hope changes are on its way in Zain Hamid which will be welcomed by all. Zaid ! please go ahead and raise the curtains of self imposed pietism and break the un-poetic idols of religious idealism.
Rehan A Khan
Nov 20, 2009 04:30am
Why you guys even allow this guy to start the blog? These atheist should go to India and live their lives in "Greater India". Living in USA for last 20 years, when I see a Hindu I thank Allah (swt) that Pakistan was indeed inevitable. To all Pakistanis, do not do anything which fulfills the Agenda of Hindus ,Jews and Christian extremists. Pakistan Zindabad!!!
Nawaz Ahmed
Nov 20, 2009 04:39am
You are caught badly NFP. You are exposed. The words show the jealousy you have for this noble man. Commenting about a person looking Indian drama?
Vas
Nov 20, 2009 04:54am
LOL . Very very funny. Looks like some of the brothers and sisters are unhappy. To those, I suggest, take it easy and just enjoy the fun. I wish someone scoops like these on our Indian clowns.
sanjay
Nov 20, 2009 04:54am
Nice one! Zion Hamid is one of the most weird people ever interviewed on TV. India has a few like him too, but Hamid is a classic. Unfortunately he is a bigger threat to Pakistan's future than taliban or India or black water.
Kumar
Nov 20, 2009 05:05am
NFP. You are setting standards very high, It wont be easy for others to catch you. I know most of Pakistani's won't agree with you for one reason or other. But you speak truth and I respect that. I hope some day those who criticize you get a chance to live and work outside Pakistan and see the real Pakistan from outside in, not inside out. Please keep up good, I know some day it will pay back.
NFP RULEZZZ
Nov 20, 2009 05:29am
Your Article has partially achieved what you wanted out of this awareness and discussion Great Job!!! Keep it up man!!!
ahsan
Nov 20, 2009 05:29am
Great Article about one of the great comedians of Pakistan. It was time that you write something about the red cap. You should write one such article for every red cap comedy show we have to endure.
Dinjo
Nov 20, 2009 05:32am
Every time you read it, it seems even more funnier. Cheers !!!
NFPRocks!
Nov 20, 2009 05:43am
Hasan Nisar, Najam Sethi, Fasi Zaka, Nadeem F. Paracha. These are the writers who are true Pakistani patriots. Brave and unafraid to speak the truth. Years down the road, many Pakistani's who are calling them traitors and agents, will finally wake-up to what these writers have been saying and writing. NFP you've got to keep going. May Allah give you more power and give these sad men and women who have been lied to all their lives and now they are lying to themselves.
NFPRocks!
Nov 20, 2009 05:57am
Rehan A. Khan writes: "Living in USA for last 20 years, when I see a Hindu I thank Allah (swt) that Pakistan was indeed inevitable. To all Pakistanis, do not do anything which fulfills the Agenda of Hindus ,Jews and Christian extremists. Pakistan Zindabad!!!" Err ... Rehan Sahib, the true Islam pasand, anti-India and anti-US that you are, exactly what are you doing in the US? Man, these guys keep proving NFP right everytime, all the time. :D
Sharat
Nov 20, 2009 06:04am
Great Humour !! I couldn't believe that Pakistan is having such good columnists who are really good at this kind of humour.
Ganesh Adithya Vakrathunda
Nov 20, 2009 06:05am
NFP you should do a similar piece about Bal and Raj Thackeray, It would be really funny, Its like every country has one, everybody should not take them seriously. My dear youngsters of Pakistan, you really require a leader who is going to help you inspire at this dark moment of Pakistan, but Zaid Hamid is not the one. Wherever zealots where followed it leads to bigotry and destruction, You should awake from this past glory talks which we Hindus also talk, its of no use. Only way is keep religion as private affair and move on, your great great grandfathers didn't toil for this.
DT, NYC
Nov 20, 2009 06:19am
Awesome dude :) this is becoming my favorite time pass Paracha vs Hamid conspiracy guy :) On a serious note you are doing a very good job by nailing down that person, we all wanna do the same thing. He's irritating. Keep the good work up ;)
Muhammad.Quddus
Nov 20, 2009 06:13am
The conqueror of Sind, Muhammad Bin Qasim, is long gone but his faith lives. One of the idea Mr. Bin Qasim's imported faith captivated the believer was to see the pre-Islamic world as the world of darkness and what followed the newly arrived faith was full of light. This was quite an incredible thing to say. Ask Hamid who got caught watching the Indian station with pre-Islamic theme. What is even more incredible is that there had been no thought given questioning that premise. The result is our actions in contradiction. Christianity had its Matthew Arnold in England. Why Islam remained frozen for centuries?
Sangeen Khan Mehsood
Nov 20, 2009 06:15am
It has not only tickled me to no end, it has exposed a fake demagogue who has been giving the impression of true man. Very nicely written, unmasking shuttled untrue Islamist.
pakistan zindabad
Nov 20, 2009 06:21am
Excellent post, Ganesh. It's amazing how so many of us just let go of our minds when told lies about our past and present, but when someone like Paracha comes along, we jump up to throttle and silence him just because he is attempting to challenge the lies and the fools paradise many of us Pakistanis have created to hide in. Sad.
Akil Akhtar
Nov 20, 2009 06:30am
NFP are you an Indian in disguise. Seriously it is getting too much and I blame the newspaper for allowing this to go on. If he wrote similar articles in India about Indians he would not survive until the second one. It is only Pakistan and its media which allows self bashing. He is obsessed with condemning Pakistanis as hateful creatures as if all others are full of love. NFP sounds more like a person full of hate for Pakistan. Go live in India or Israel and try to buy a nice house in a nice Hindu or Jewish area and see what happens.
pramod
Nov 20, 2009 06:30am
@ Rehan A Khan writes:
Nafisa
Nov 20, 2009 06:32am
Absolutely hilarious. I am an ardent fan of this blogger. Three cheers for Nadeem Paracha.
Jehangir
Nov 20, 2009 06:32am
A very nice piece of work. People like Nadeem have the courage to break the myth of obscurantic preachers. Keep up the hammering.
Ashish
Nov 20, 2009 06:32am
Don't know from where were you derive this baggage of humorous ideas. I am big fan Zaid Hamid. Here in India he is our daily dose of laughter. Without him, the world is boring. Your columns are one special reason why I come back at Dawn almost everyday. Keep typing.
SAURABH GAUR
Nov 20, 2009 06:36am
Ultimate man. I laughed while in a taxi and the cab driver was wondering what it is about. Humorous, that man Zaid Hamid, I never thought he is funny, rather I always felt he is irritating. good job
aazaad
Nov 20, 2009 06:54am
To the few ZH followers that have in their posts here tried to imply that ZH somehow made NFP look bad on a TV show (where the two never really had a one-on-one), please read NFP's "in defence of reason" before making such erroneous assertions http://blog.dawn.com/2009/08/11/in-defence-of-reason/
Babar
Nov 20, 2009 06:58am
Good work NFP. Reading your satires are always pleasure.
yezdi
Nov 20, 2009 07:00am
hey Nadeem u high right? this is sure high effect! nice piece bro.
akram khan
Nov 20, 2009 08:21am
The important similarity Zaid Hamid has with talibans is what the former is doing with his brain, the talibans are doing with their guns and bombs. they both are lethal one way or another. If only Zaid Hamid get together with the talibans, they can probably rule the world. Just a thought!
Jamil Niazi
Nov 20, 2009 07:57am
People are fed up with conspiracy theories. Zion! please come up with something new. Unmask your hidden person and uncap your head.
ibrahim
Nov 20, 2009 09:20am
Move ahead NFP, we are with you.
Vicky
Nov 20, 2009 08:56am
Awesome satire to awake these sleepwalkers. You have done something that I wanted to do but I don't have writing skills like you. I also know that they will remain same as they are because they are like robots (Fixed instruction set). They never dare to look themselves that is why they always point fingers on others as they find it easy. And shame on these Pakistani singers, they do everything to get fame and money and on other hand to show patriotism, they blame USA, Israel, India and so on. What can I say about Zaid Hamid, he is simply extremist. I am sure, if we have 10 people like him and give them leadership then war is no longer far away with India. He is so crazy to rule others. He feels so much proud to capture India. Why? What is need of it to rule others. We simply can't manage ourself and thinking of others to capture. What a foolish idea to impose our identity on others. Have we ever realize how we get our identity and think of it as it our own. If people like Zion Hamid were born in some other place then he fights from there against us. People who give belief system, people who distribute you in different identification, regions is your first enemy. God didn't divide us, it is we who created borders, nations, other factors to distribute ourself.
Farhan
Nov 20, 2009 08:59am
Is it any surprise that the kudos for this Article is coming from outside Pakistan whereas the criticism is all from Pakistanis. This shows the extent of brainwashing which has gone on for so long within Pakistan that we are not even able to appreciate satire at its very best.
Imran
Nov 20, 2009 10:02am
This is crap what a useless article. Complete non-sense, worthless, subject less criticizing every one, no solution, no conclusion.
SQ Khan
Nov 20, 2009 10:07am
True. We are a very brainwashed society. We hate being criticized, we hate all, we hate India, We hate Iranians, We hate Shias, We hate Jews, we hate Christians, we hate Afgans, we hate Pashtoons, we hate all. Now we hate our own people too. killing one another, by the insurgents and by the army. What we are going to achieve by hate ?
Hassan
Nov 20, 2009 10:12am
Before I begin let me just say that you have a good way of putting things. However if only you were on the straight path. What is the straight path? well one which Allah has ordained for us. I address all the Muslims who have written their comments: Ever wonder where your pro-liberal/materialistic thoughts are taking you? Why do you hate a person who is so faithful to Islam and is country? I know you would suggest its just satire but deep inside you all know that you hate is views? why? because he is showing you something which you know not off. I pose a question to you all, Does Chomsky and Finkelstein get trashed in the US? the land of the 'free' the kinda society you want? Please open your eyes and see around you. I don't disagree with those who say the problems we face are created by our own people, no doubt but why don't you look beyond that. i.e how are they able to buy huge cache's of weapons? where do those weapons come from? I aint talking AK's but larger weapons. You liberal crowd are so proud that you use your brain yet you stop pondering beyond what you see. And to suggest that other countries(enemies) of the faith are plotting. My friends open your Scripture and read. And all you liberal crowd of peace and no war. Look at the human history. Go back as far as you can and you will see men fighting. Not a single year has gone by that men have no been killing each other. That is how this world works. The question is which side of the men are you at? For that you yourselves have to make a choice. A clarification first, I do not support the Talibs in Pakistan. I think they are pawns of a greater power (which? only Allah knows). But if you talk about afghan talib they were rulers of a sovereign country with their own laws and if any of you who have read international law would not debate on their rights. And this type of satire is good, like the kinda thing 4man show does. But the problem with you liberals is that you take the satire as if it was the truth. I hope it makes sense. And I hope Allah guides us all to the straight path. Ameen.
Upright
Nov 20, 2009 10:34am
Hahahaha. Very well written, extremely entertaining to read with a very clear underlying message. I hope anyone reading NFP's articles reads them with the right spirit & attitude. Be it Indian, Pakistani or anyone. There are good & bad people on both sides, let us (the younger generation, the sane generation) have our own independent thoughts and analyze situation, 'theories' etc with our own scientific bent of mind, rather than blindly following others.
Zuhair
Nov 20, 2009 10:15am
Nothing surprising here again NFP. But I failed to understand what made you write this piece? Surely, in such journalism you have to follow a specific event which certainly was not the case here. Your differences with the right wing are well known and you certainly failed to add anything new in that dimension. Did you intend to say that there is no US agency operating in Pakistan? No Americans are been given acres of land in Islamabad? What makes you think that being anti-US policy is anything wrong? That remains beyond me. Why don't you write about the terrorism that Americans do with their drone attacks and everything? There is nothing wrong in writing against Taliban because that is what they deserve - but you should have the courage to call a spade a spade and write about the wrong doings of USA in Pakistan as well. Why do you certainly fail to write about the terrorist part of the political party in stead of just over and over again mentioning the thunder squad of yesteryear. You have lived in Karachi - you cant tell me that you know nothing about what political party guys do in Karachi. You are against the Jamia Hafsa students taking the law in their own hands - fair enough - I am with you. But what would you call the ghundas roaming in the city and streets of Karachi freely with the latest weapons, taking bhattas, looting qurbani ki khaal. You have brilliant writing skills - but you need to widen your scope mate.
Syed
Nov 20, 2009 10:26am
NFP, I used to read your articles but I am sorry from now on. You know there are certain things in Islam that educate us in advance. For example this Article of yours in vindictive in nature. Its an outrage. Therefore, it relies on some very hand pinched slanderous reasoning that resembles a child's brain. I am not at all a big fan of Zahid Hamid because he thinks Taliban in Afghanistan were the so called paragons of virtue. However, this kind of article lowers your own status!
AamirRaz
Nov 20, 2009 10:52am
Typically yours, NFP! Your satire is the satire. We're with you.
Conspiracy
Nov 20, 2009 10:43am
This article is an obvious zionist conspiracy to defame Zaid Hamid and Maulana Imran Khan. Shame on you.
sarkar ahmad
Nov 20, 2009 10:55am
Absolutely wonderful piece, which has been beautifully written. But listen folks, Zaid (Zion) Hamid is not alone in this mad circus waged every night on the box. There are few senseless people who don't know to what extent they are damaging our state and society through their shows (or perhaps they knowingly do it) at this critical juncture. They all need to be exposed, at all costs for the sake of this country.
asim
Nov 20, 2009 11:20am
hahahahah this shows Nadeem cannot digest the popularity of Sir Zaid Hamid. Now he has nothing to write except rubbish. lol We the young generation of Pakistan are intellectual and we can judge and conclude by our self whose more worthy of listening and reading and its definitely not you Mr Nadeem so cut it and my advice to you is not to write such rubbish, if you don't have anything substantial to write Pakistan Zindabad !!!
kavitha
Nov 20, 2009 10:57am
This is a weird man talking bad about India all the time. Fix your country before fixing India!. Moreover what is wrong in watching any TV serial in the global village called the world? If you like it, watch it.
Zafar
Nov 20, 2009 12:10pm
Mr. Red Cap has an over simplistic explanation for every wrong in our country. He lives in a world of fantasies and tries to brainwash our youth with his conspiracy theories. He said in a recent program that Pakistan was created by God for a special purpose and therefore He will protect it. If that is the case, someone should ask Red Cap, why did it split into two in less than 25 years ! If at all Pakistan was a gift from God for a special purpose, I am sure God has forsaken it as we have shown that we do not deserve His bounties. Open your eyes folks and live in the real world. The world - India included - has bigger agendas than to fail Pakistan.
Rajeev Singh
Nov 20, 2009 12:22pm
Very interesting, I am from India but live in NY and I do read dawn occasionally. This is a nice article.
Usman
Nov 20, 2009 12:23pm
NFP - This piece doesn't really seems to be yours. Sadly, the humour lost the true NFP touch.
Abbas
Nov 20, 2009 12:24pm
I think there is also conspiracy in your article. Great work. Representation of true culture at it's best. Keep up the good work.
Zafar
Nov 20, 2009 12:29pm
Proud of journalist like you in sub continent, Zoin Hamid represent typical Pakistani psychic we always think some one is there to get us (Hindus, Jews, Christians) but no one cares to destroy us if ourselves has the ability and zeal to excel. India has no shortage of thugs, who are no different from Zoin Hamid. Such criminals should be silenced to encourage true friendship among different groups and peace in the sub-continent.
Saleem B
Nov 20, 2009 12:53pm
NFP you are priceless! keep writing
Nadeem
Nov 20, 2009 05:35pm
This guy, NFP represents the worst of Pakistan's journalism.
Dilawar Khan
Nov 20, 2009 05:38pm
As I don't live in Pakistan so could not understand much of stuff. But it must be amazing place with all the glaring contrasts & different opinions. It must require a great courage if your enemy is so ignorant, motivated & headstrong. It is a war, may the logic & reason win. Amen
ranjan
Nov 20, 2009 06:21pm
Great Nadeem. I am just laughing and laughing and laughing. Please. Come up with such articles at regular intervals. I saw many Pakistani readers' angry comment on this article. But believe me friends this is the same case everywhere. You change the characters and put some Indian characters and it will be 100 % correct. Have the ability to laugh at yourself. I am proud of my country and I pray my country will clock a GDP of 8-10% in the coming decade which will lift million from poverty, less child labour, better health care etc. But at the same time I laugh at myself our system,politics. My sincere request Nadeem please come up with such articles regularly put some Indian characters also, lets laugh together. We are still humans!!!!!
Ali Raza
Nov 21, 2009 12:23pm
NFP, after looking at the interview that you and Zaid Hamid gave to the Dawn News about conspiracy theories, I can't help concluding that you went this low for revenge. Zaid Hamid did make you like a child with his rebuttal in that interview. Be a man and rise above instead of being so cynical. Though I don't buy any of Zaid Hamid's theories, after perusing this crap, I lost respect for you NFP. Sad.
Assad
Nov 20, 2009 06:27pm
That was absolutely brilliant. It is so great to have people like NFP writing for Dawn. You're one of the best things that happened to Pakistani journalism. keep them coming!
Voltaire
Nov 20, 2009 06:41pm
Satire at its worst possible form. The Paracha's humour is as lifeless as Lenin's dead body in the casket in Moscow. But comedy wont be defeated by people like NFP, Viva la satire!
tipu
Nov 20, 2009 07:07pm
Zaid hamid seems to me more of a comedian than so called an intellectual. What he is selling is absolutely not anything new in Pakistan. I don
Adnan
Nov 20, 2009 07:07pm
Dear NFP... Bravo. Thumbs Up for this article yet again. In my opinion a journalist like you is like a ray of hope in this dark time. We have developed a habit of labeling anything which these so called TALIBAN or MULLA's do as conspiracy of Zionists and Hindus but this is a sick mentality of handful of these T.V hosts and so called intellectuals like Zion Hamid etc.
Muhammad Bilal Ramzan
Nov 20, 2009 07:11pm
Brilliant!! Meaningful humor is always great. NFP, this piece of writing really rocks, loved it and I am going to share it on FB! :D
Foha
Nov 20, 2009 07:11pm
LoL Pakistan need journalist like you who speak out like that! it was Awesome!
Osama Siddique
Nov 20, 2009 07:19pm
Great piece. I think it's vital to confront obscurantism with logic but equally necessary to be able to laugh at our torment and tormentors and promote further expansion of space and tolerance for critique and satire. This piece goes on to show that we can do that and in many ways political speech in Pakistan is thriving.
Foha
Nov 20, 2009 07:20pm
This was really Good Read! Pakistan need journalists like you!
NFP (No-Faith-Pakistan)
Nov 20, 2009 07:29pm
NFP thinks to the far extreme that there is no foreign involvement at all in Pakistan. Well then I guess drone attacks are sophisticated weapons developed by the Talibs to throw them at civilians home in the tribal regions, and Talibs also have ingenious intelligence and techniques to raid the forbidden GHQ and Talibs also have a magical wish granter lake somewhere in tribal area which given them limitless ammunition and money.
Ahsan
Nov 20, 2009 07:29pm
I admire your attempt at satire but reading this article one gets the feeling that you have something personal against Zaid Hamid, so instead why don't you engage in a debate with him directly? And use this forum and your talents to write something positive about your country?
Arshid Jamil
Nov 20, 2009 08:02pm
Epic is right, that's what this article is. Wake up guys and see the realities Zafar has hit the nail on the head, the World, including India, has a better, bigger and positive agenda than to fail Pakistan as a state. Pakistan does not need outsiders to make it fail, Pakistanis will do it themselves.
blueMountain
Nov 20, 2009 08:21pm
Though as a satire you can may be able to call this a funny piece, I wouldn't really call it "journalism". As mentioned by a poster here Too many assumptions of fact. And labels not too big a fan of those. Looks like the gloves are off.
khan
Nov 20, 2009 08:23pm
It doesn't take much to sit back and criticize others those who are at least trying to divert our young generation's attention to something more patriotic than just living like animals. i.e just eating, drinking etc. I am sure we the humans would be much more sophisticated than that. I didn't like NFP for one reason only, he only criticizes. I would request him to come forward and show what he has got so that I may be able to tell him what he's doing. Atleast I know that Imran khan was the person behind the biggest cancer hospital in Pakistan as well as a knowledge city. what did his critic do? I mean NFP nothing except criticizing and I am amazed at the intellect of you people who appreciate it. If there will be a name in history then it could be of Imran Khan and people like him, not NFP unless NFP fans say that all the world historians are also hypocrites that would be an even better conspiracy theory.
Akash Verma
Nov 20, 2009 08:39pm
Even if I ignore the conspiracy and the propaganda and the utter lack of common sense and the enlarged sense of paranoia and the ugliest form of hypocrisy about the characters mentioned. The writing is still brilliant! This coming from an India who himself doesn't watch Indian Soaps. Not because they are conspiring against a nation. But because they are just too lame. Kudos!
Mohammed
Nov 20, 2009 08:55pm
Utterly pathetic journalism. I guess there is a serious shortage of journalists/writers in Pakistan. May be Pakistani news agencies should go to these countries they happily criticize to hire some real journalists and writers. Articles like these reflect intellectual incapacity to the highest degree and do more harm to Pakistan's image. I believe that Pakistan has some brilliant writers and journalists and they should be the ones employed. Again a pretty low-grade piece of writing.
suleman maniya,Göteborg,Sweden
Nov 20, 2009 09:10pm
Oh my God. Its sure is reality, NFP I think this is a masterpiece. Aside from the funny side, the message in this article is clear. Pakistanis please get over the hypocrisy, We blame the US for everything which has befallen us although it is the only country which has truly contributed the greatest aid for Pakistan. Moreover, get over the syndrome of all countries trying to destroy Pakistan, these countries cant care less even India, rather they fret as to whats going to happen once Pakistan collapses, so please get up and away from the conspiracy theories.
Shoaib Hashmi
Nov 20, 2009 09:11pm
Another rubbish from Nadeem F Paracha.
saeed
Nov 20, 2009 09:16pm
I think, NFP is out of topics. Jokes and satire loose credibility. The problem we have is serious.
Nadeem Ahmed
Nov 20, 2009 09:53pm
Absolute rubbish.
samir
Nov 20, 2009 10:19pm
Just imagine Pakistan one day becomes a developed nation. What will this Nadeem Paracha write about then? either he will have nothing to say or he'll still be poking his finger everywhere he shouldn't. wouldn't it be weird to have him around then?
anurak adulyadej
Nov 20, 2009 10:36pm
ROFL-funny. Zaid Hamid etc are funny characters with no sense at all.
bmwm750
Nov 20, 2009 10:36pm
Pure Genius! Too bad it
Raghu Ram
Nov 20, 2009 10:39pm
Oh My. How do you think like this NFP? Very Nice...:)
anonymous
Nov 20, 2009 10:41pm
The problem is not Zaid Hamid, the problem is with the masses, people like Ali Azmat, who are receptive to those kinds of ideas and theories.
HAIDER JAWAID
Nov 20, 2009 11:09pm
I can honestly say NFP has lost it and must be high! But we should all understand the complete background of this tragedy that brought this writer to come up with such an article. A couple of months ago NFP got up on the wrong side of his bed to take on Mr. Zaid Hamid in a TV show on Dawn News and lost the debate which he tried so hard to win through false statements and deception. This poor NFP fellow tried hard to redeem himself in front of his fan base in India. Now that we know what his mind is full of, lets not blame him for his childish thinking.
samir
Nov 20, 2009 11:11pm
I give accolades for your dare writings. You present the truth in humorous way which readers fail to understand. Ex-president of Pakistan has his children studying and living in USA, while he was a general and President. Bhutto has his son living and studying in England while he is President. Children of all the top politicians or army people or infact of mullahs are either studying, living or working in western countries. While all the time they are preaching about evil plans of Usa and others. I do not understand why people do not understand after so many years of independence that the threat for Pakistan is from its own politicians. They have forced lack of education, engineering skills and talent among the children of Pakistan. We are equally efficient compared to Indians and being the children of same motherland, we lack far behind them. why? has anyone asked our mullahs. It is they who have brought us to the state of survival. otherwise we are second to none if we have pens rather than a sword in our hands. Please think of the future.
Manzoor
Nov 20, 2009 11:23pm
A wonderful and commendable piece of satiric work. Zahid Hamid, Khan and others so pseudo intellectuals and politicians are the real trouble makers. Putting own issues on others and blaming every political incumbents is the populist job of these guys. They are rather the true brain child of Pakistani establishment. India and Israel proved themselves as responsible states not by genociding their own people. If Pakistan wish to reach onto that status through Baloch genocide, would turn out to be a ashamed dream. Your aritlce is a good food for thought!! But who cares?
ravinder
Nov 21, 2009 12:35pm
Pretty funny. Shakuntali. HaHaHa. Take good care of yourself. Hey, Abdul, You guys have pseudo-intellectuals we have pseudo secular, how about an exchange. You can laugh your hearts out and so can we. I think it would be a great deal.
Friend from India
Nov 20, 2009 11:39pm
I read a lot of international news on the net and do visit dawn at times. Kudos to NFP for this article. I would like to mention here specifically after reading the article and the comments that India is not really the enemy. India is not bothered about bringing down Pakistan. In 2009, the people of India are way too modern to even bother themselves with what happens to Pakistan. Pakistan is our neighbor and we respect that and it ends there. Folks like Zaid have their own vested interest to sell the same ideology to the people of Pakistan. We have a couple of jokers here too.The Raj and Bal thackrey's, though they don't say or have anything against Pakistan in particular. The young generation of Pakistan has to look forward and do things to uplift the country. I wish all Pakistanis the best for a wonderful future and a heart filled with less hate! Insaan Zindabad! I think that's what god in all respect wanted us to say.
Srini
Nov 20, 2009 11:57pm
I am from India; southern part. I live in NJ and I do have great friends of Pakistani origin. I read dawn as I do read Times of India. I always read NFP's items and out of all this one I liked a lot.
Mazhar
Nov 21, 2009 12:07am
Those of you who think people like Zaid Hamid should be silenced "to encourage true friendship among different groups and peace in the sub-continent" are living in fantasy land. I live in the US and see first hand all the negativity and hatred Indians have towards Pakistan. They are not even subtle about their 'Pakistan should be a part of India' attitude. How can you talk about peacefully co-existing with them? If you really think the Indian government has a genuine interest in being friendly with Pakistan then how do you explain the following article from DAWN? DAWN.COM | Pakistan | Proof of Indian hand South Waziristan: army http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/news/pakistan/13+proof+of+indian+hand+south+waziristan+army-za-02
Salahuddin
Nov 21, 2009 12:31am
A sad piece of writing. Keep trying NFP, one day maybe you'll actually contribute something positive to society.
Maaz B. Badshah, MD
Nov 21, 2009 12:33am
Nadeem, grow up man. There are people other then teenagers in this country as well. I used to read your articles with a lot of interest. You want to say there is nothing wrong and everything is internally generated and motivated against this country of ours, think again. And please, this is not the eighties and nineties, and people do not follow you any more. You are just one of a bunch of those endless writers who express their opinions, and sadly, you are losing your edge fast.
GRV
Nov 21, 2009 12:41am
After a long time I'm reading such a nice article .You have really good creativity & imagination. keep working on it. Thanks for making us smile. GRV INDIA
Fauzia Ahmad
Nov 21, 2009 09:08am
Zaid Hamid (an engineer by qualification) used to be very active during his students days at NED University for Jamiat. He has jihadi mentality since then. His sole objective is to create hatred. As long as we have people like him in our ranks, Pakistan shall never have peace with any country let alone India. I wonder why such people are allowed to appear on TV talk shows. But again he appears on those TV channels having all such things on their agenda that is bound to make common people frustrated and bring Pakistan bad name. He is the type of people who believes that only they are right and anyone who does not support his school of thought, is paleed (dirty).
ali jan
Nov 21, 2009 09:15am
This is crap by the so called open minded and liberal people.
Rafey
Nov 21, 2009 01:30am
NFP, You are simply brilliant and bold. I generally don't care about strangers but I genuinely worry about your well being. I hope you stay safe. I would really like to meet you in person some day. Rafey
Ali Irtiza
Nov 21, 2009 01:33am
Very Nice NFP, but no words on who actually holds Zion Hamid's strings. Zion Hamid is just one of the many picked specifically and designated by the self-arrogated saviors of Pakistan to crop up the Pakistani minds (if they exist) to the shape and size suiting them.
imaverick
Nov 21, 2009 01:40am
I'm surprised! dude. You'd be first Pakistani pseudo journalist to say what it is? as it is. kudos to you. Pakistan deserves more people like you. Be it India or Pakistan. The truth is they both are exploited by their own leaders.
AHK
Nov 21, 2009 02:04am
Brilliant, just Brilliant!! It's refreshing to see at least some people are sane enough to not give in to the likes of Zaid Hamid etc.
Dawood Khan
Nov 21, 2009 02:07am
NFP, I was a great fan of Zaid Hamid until I start reading your articles. I think that Zaid Hamid is to naive because of certain things that he say. And I frankly think that most of his suggestions are impractical. But joke aside that guy has hi own opinion and that has to be respected. It doesn't make him wrong or fake and you right either. Its just a difference of opinion. But in the end great article mate. Keep it up.
Dr Junaid Tipu
Nov 21, 2009 02:32am
Nadeem, you are great man, too impressive a masterpiece to go down the minds of the both sides of the borders though. anyways, the zardari bhutto zardari chapter was amazing.
JK
Nov 21, 2009 02:36am
Amusing piece of work, for casual reading but there is no serious message attached to it.
umar ansari
Nov 21, 2009 02:36am
This piece belongs to the bin. NFP has is most definitely having nightmares about Zaid Hamid.
Puneet
Nov 21, 2009 02:39am
Hilarious yet deep! Pakistanis maybe bad at many things, but they surely are the best when it comes to humor!
Tariq
Nov 21, 2009 02:54am
Didn't know if I should laugh or cry, so I did both. This is hilarious and unfortunately closer to the truth than one would like for it to be. Thanks.
Ashish Tuteja
Nov 21, 2009 03:00am
I love you dude. All your articles are fabulous, short of appreciation. I wish I had writing skills like yours. And it's good to know Zaid Hamid is not liked in Pakistan, I wonder why are they even aired on the TV, gives a VERY negative opinion about the whole country. Anyways you defy that and makes me and others believe that there are sane and intellectual people like you in the country. Love your satire and writing.
Eliot Whitehead
Nov 21, 2009 03:06am
Very interesting. And the satire is not bad either.
Ali Khan
Nov 21, 2009 03:29am
Zaid Hamid is representing the truth. You will realise it one day when it will be to late.
Ali
Nov 21, 2009 03:52am
Utterly disappointed in this article, nonsense! as we say "overacting".
Azam khan Buneri
Nov 21, 2009 04:10am
Nadeem F.Piracha's write up depicts true picture of pseudo-intellectuals whose words and actions do not match. They have no talents in them but use litany and obscure verses of obscurant poets in their talks and writings to gain fame among the religious minded people. There is a lobby of such people in Pakistan who live not only themselves live in fantasies but also try to misled others. They will fail in their lethal designs. People of Pakistan have already given a defeat to religious parties and the little bit of breathing they are taking in will get truncated in the next elections.
muhammmad ishaq
Nov 21, 2009 04:16am
Great work. NFP. You are the one out of a few journalists who is talking openly and bravely, just like BB. Please take care of yourself.
Ahmed Omair
Nov 21, 2009 04:29am
Rubbish!
Santosh
Nov 21, 2009 04:36am
Germans were lucky to have a Berlin wall on ground. Ours is in our mind(set). It will take longer. But sure it will fall one day. Across the border we have to keep trying.
Rajeev
Nov 21, 2009 05:00am
Nadeem you are simply the best man. Although we in India have our own share of conspiracy theory wala's but this article of yours just take the cake. Keep the good work going.
Shehryar
Nov 21, 2009 05:09am
Well NFP does have a pretty narrow focus and his writings almost always explore the left wing come secular come marxist ideology. But what he writes, he writes well! I really enjoy his pieces in DAWN but i guess he is intolerant of people having a rightist viewpoint.
S.GHANCHI
Nov 21, 2009 05:17am
Great work
Yaseen Baig
Nov 21, 2009 05:21am
Very strange, A moderate person commenting on a extremist approach in an extremist manner. It is not NFP we read occasionally, you are walking on one side only try to walk in the middle that is the right way.
ercelan
Nov 21, 2009 06:10am
Wah, maza agaya. Aur bhi behtar hota agar chota mazmoon hota.
WAQAS
Nov 21, 2009 01:41pm
full marks for correct grammar. Impressive for a man with low IQ and depressingly twisted view of the world.
Hamza
Nov 21, 2009 02:31pm
Absolutely brilliant, NFP never stops amazing me. (Fan of the man)
pakistan zindabad
Nov 23, 2009 12:41pm
farrukh Mirza says: "Allah give you Hid ayah." This reminds me of an old NFP article called 'Weed.' In which one Tableeghi guy says to him, "Allah aap koh hidayat dey," To which NFP replies "... aur aap koh aqal." :)
Sara
Nov 21, 2009 04:11pm
NFP's really been stung now, hasn't he? And he's suppose to be giving us the lesson of tolerance, funny. I would like to say a lot, but I am pretty sure he knows about his lies and hypocrisy (not sure about the spelling) and bigotry himself. I suggest you read Shahaab Nama. Oh yeah, and I was watching the conspiracy theories program on youtube, NFP said that he had the opinion that stoning to death of adulterers is wrong as its not in the Quran, only in Ahadis. So Ahadis aren't important?
patriot
Nov 21, 2009 09:11pm
Pathetic, NFP has moved on from ZIA to Zaid Hamid. Pathetic humor.
Vishu
Nov 21, 2009 09:30pm
Can't stop laughing!!!
Rehman
Nov 21, 2009 10:44pm
I would must say the writer (Mr. Paracha) of this article go to doctor. I can put lot of these kind of blame and allegations without factual prove on anyone at anytime.
Kara Swart
Nov 21, 2009 10:46pm
Mazhar: But Pakistan is a part of India ( or India a part of Pakistan). Our gene pool is exactly the same, which the rivers and soil of this great peninsula created over millions of years. A man can change his religion, not his gene pool. A Pakistani is often mistaken for an India, but never for a Chinese or an Arab (and vice versa). We are indeed one. Where is the angst in this?
anurak adulyadej
Nov 22, 2009 12:36am
NFP is the king of satire :-). I wish that red topi Zaid Hamid dreams up some more conspiracy theories as they make me laugh a lot of you tube :-), time pass.
Abdullah Hussain
Nov 23, 2009 12:03pm
george Says: People of Pakistan can live without basic necessities but not the Indian channels. Cut down power supply, take away petrol, reduce water supplies, raise inflation, start a civil war, do anything and this nation would stay numb. But ban the Indian channels and see, every one and their aunts will be out on the roads, shouting and protesting. -------------------------------------------- This is one of the reasons why the authority must ban airing of all Indian channels in Pakistan. AH
Kara Swart
Nov 23, 2009 12:18pm
Chaps: I can see that NFP is getting a lot of stick from some Pakistani posters. Laughing at yourself (or your icons) is the test of a self confident society. NFP's satirical articles show that whatever be the state of the politics, the secular Pakistani society is indeed very self confident. Kudos and all success. Mr. Jinnah had wanted a secular society and least that part of his dream lives on in the likes of NFP.
Aqib Ali Shah
Nov 24, 2009 08:03am
The Best There 'Was' The Best There 'Is' The Better He will Become Aka NFP Hats Off To NFP. I Got three Words For Him. One Man, One Dream, One Vision. Which Is ........RIGHTEOUSNESS.......
Hammad
Nov 22, 2009 05:09am
In my opinion, Zaid Hamid is a bias person because he always gives the one side opinion and that is his own opinion. He never gives the opposite side fact and figure and he only emphasize on his personal and one-side views. In this 2009 people have so many other resources to figure out the both facts and figures. Anyhow, he is a great debater and he has quality to convince his audience even though he is a bias person. Indeed, we people are lazy to pull out the all side information by outsource resources; moreover, the world became a global village and we are only listen to one guy who has only his one thought again western and eastern country that they are trying to disintegrate Pakistan.
Jehangir
Nov 22, 2009 06:07am
How can a person, quoting just obscurantic verses in his talks, win in the eyes of sensible viewers and readers. A brain washed can only inspire a brain washed.
Peace_Lover
Nov 23, 2009 10:01am
@Mazhar, finding Indian arms in S.Waziristan does not constitute support. Chinese and Russian arms have also been found in NWFP. It does not mean China and Russia are involved. Arms smugglers work from every country known to man. Finding arms is hardly proof since there are a lot of arms smugglers working from the Indian side of Kashmir.
Nimra
Nov 23, 2009 04:03pm
Its good article but Dr. Younis is still much better at it. Next time try to be original rather than copying Younis Butt. Nice Effort, though.
Rakesh
Nov 23, 2009 04:11pm
Hats off to you NFP. Boss you are great. Taliban may have conquered Afghanistan but if they dream the same in Pakistan, they must be living in a fools paradise. Pakistan is not Afghanistan. Anyway I love Dr. Hamid. He surely has imagination. Unfortunately there is no Nobel Prize for creative imagination. He would have won it hands down. But surely he does provide entertainment in the gloomy times. And about Imran Khan, he was my favourite cricketer and then he decided to ruin whatever he did by becoming a politician. The man who won world cup for pakistan now bats for taliban.
Rakesh
Nov 23, 2009 04:32pm
Zaid hamid must be angry as he was not born in USA. Cause In USA he could have been multi millionaire selling books and conspiracy theory. There is such a great market for all the lunatic conspiracy theorist in USA. Entire Middle USA roots for them. Just see how much money few well known people have made, all the tele evangelist are making in US just by Talking nonsense. But Bechara Hamid Sahab. All he can get is some fan base among the madarssah student who are there in first place due to poverty. How he has to run from one TV channel to other to provide the comedy quotient in some serious news topic just to make the ends meet. By the way NFP Sir, Are you really a agent of some agency or just that some people do not still believe that The founder of Pakistan was not some Mullah but a modern man and thats what Pakistan is, a modern Islamic state not tribal NWFP or Afghanistan.
Zurez Khan
Nov 22, 2009 07:59am
Zaid Hamid has his logic flawed, his sources conjured and his honesty questionable. I don't care if he watches Indian soap operas or whatever films every night, we should as a society not pay much attention to his ramblings including highlighting them in the national paper. But I guess when people loose their reason and judgment, someone has to show them the mirror. Question remains, who would read between the lines of this article and understand what is being highlighted here. Best, Zurez Khan
Ali Khan
Nov 22, 2009 09:33am
I have been reading Nadeems articles for quite some time and have always been mesmerized by the way he puts together his thought and ideas. His choice of words are simply beyond exemplary and the ideas are commendable, but Nadeem, don
semu
Nov 23, 2009 08:03am
Seems Nadeem Paracha, is full of hate propaganda willing to publish the same here, he is creating hate, brainwash on his foolish and imaginary cook up stories about anyone. He is a person in disguise, he must be skinned.
Abdullah Hussain
Nov 23, 2009 08:04am
Mr. NFP, Congratulations, your
Ovais
Nov 23, 2009 08:19am
The piece was hilarious and thought provoking at the same time. Especially the part on freedom of press but I have a question would NFP like to elaborate on the issue how could a nation turn into brutal minded savages? just after 9/11 just makes one think especially these suicide attacks are not supporting their cause in anyway. What does NFP thinks?
Gul karim
Nov 23, 2009 08:45am
Well done NFP, you have exposed a person who is sowing the seeds of hatered and extremism. You have also shown the real faces of some westernized singers chirping religious songs with western drums.
george
Nov 22, 2009 08:24pm
People of Pakistan can live without basic necessities but not the Indian channels. Cut down power supply, take away petrol, reduce water supplies, raise inflation, start a civil war, do anything and this nation would stay numb. But ban the Indian channels and see, every one and their aunts will be out on the roads, shouting and protesting :)
Farrukh Mirza
Nov 22, 2009 10:00pm
Allah give you Hid ayah.
Keti Zilgish
Nov 22, 2009 11:56pm
@ Santosh:- that was a very insightful and hence admirable comment.
Rajeev
Nov 23, 2009 12:34am
This article is one of the funniest I have read in recent times. Infact more funnier than Raju Srivastav's acts. I really envy the peace and prosperity in Europe and wish when will we all(Indians and Pakistanis) live in a peaceful and a developed age where no one of us will have to dream about going to US or Europe to live a better life as well as to avoid the open bias against us in those countries. Insha Allah, someday!!!
Prithwiraj
Nov 23, 2009 05:06am
A brilliant piece of work indeed!Only the kind of people like NFP can salvage this miserable subcontinent from the misery caused by religious bigotry and extremism.
impressed
Nov 24, 2009 01:22am
NFP is different, he writes different and is different in relations.
Abdullah Hussain
Nov 24, 2009 05:40am
Kara Swart Says: Mr. Jinnah had wanted a secular society and least that part of his dream lives on in the likes of NFP. -------------------------------------------- Dear Kara Swart. For your information Pakistan was created as an Islamic ideological country. Quaid e Azam Mohammed Ali Jinnah was a Muslim and wanted an Islamic homeland for the Muslims of the sub continent. The Islamic ideology prescribes very good relationship with members of all religion, cast and creed within the parameter of Islamic concept. A secular country has very little to offer and is not accountable to many things. Islamic society on the other hand has no consideration for such things. AH
Karam Ali Shah
Nov 24, 2009 07:30am
""Pakistan was created as an Islamic ideological country." Prove this, Abdullah Hussain. What does so many of Jinnah's speeches say? "Religion has nothing to do with the matters of the state" You guys go blind to this, and continue your unproven rethoric of Pakistan was made as an Islamic state. Men like Paracha are really the true reflection of the kind of state Jinnah wanted. So get over it, already.
Kayenn
Nov 24, 2009 10:57am
Great Article - just imagine how red turban people are assisting in brain washing people of Pakistan. No news about the Headly and Rana till now in Pakistan news. They are agencies trying to tarnish Pakistan's image It is easy to destroy but very difficult to built. Nadeem in trying to build but Zion Hamed is tyrying to destroy.
Onsong
Nov 24, 2009 11:11am
LOL. NFP, what on earth are you always on? This is crazy, and we love you for this. Wild satire at its very best.
Qasim
Nov 25, 2009 06:22pm
Pretty creative and humorous. Too bad our nation doesn't have the sense of humor to appreciate how funny our people are without making an effort. No imagination at all. Anyway good stuff NFP.
abdul khan
Nov 26, 2009 08:01am
Fiction It
Haathim
Nov 26, 2009 12:16pm
Hi! I am an Arab studying in India and I found your article hilarious. After staying in India I feel that Indians are much better people than Pakistanis. Pakistanis just like Arabs like to blame everyone else for their own problems and the end result is that we keep on suffering while blaming others. False bravado does not get us anywhere; we need more schools (real schools and not Islamic Madarssas) colleges and universities. We need to stop hating others for their beliefs and it is only then that we can actually grow as a people. On my trip the Pakistan two years back, I found out that though the people are lovely they tend to give in to conspiracy theories a lot and their hatred for India far exceeds their hatred for India.
shankar
Nov 26, 2009 12:52pm
With people like these, who need the taliban.
chinmay
Nov 26, 2009 01:25pm
On this eve of first anniversary of 26/11, all I can say is that we have much soulful issues to discuss, what to do with our TV shows? Just by seeing them in operas where one is always conspiring against somebody, you
Stinger
Nov 27, 2009 06:33am
I can see that you're trying to be satirical but let
Wahever Mann Singh
Nov 27, 2009 09:32am
I think Hamid is a pretty cool guy. He blames Hindus for everything and doesn't afraid of anything.
Rehan Saeed
Nov 27, 2009 11:23am
You're right that Indians are better people than us so their Babri Mosque commission truly revealed that BJP and Vajpai hatched the conspiracy, just after 17 years. They proved themselves far better when they attacked their fellow parliamentarians for revealing these facts. Yes, they are better than us when they discovered that an Indian Army Officer was responsible for burning innocent people of Samjotha express live. You are right that MSS is better than Taliban of Pakistan who fight against American policies, but your parties threat all those Muslims of India to migrate to Pakistan- Karan Johar apologized Bal Thakre for using word Mumbai in his movie. See More My dear Satya, being the student you'll know history of this region more than me. Should I tell that from 2900 BC, both countries were separate in demography and geology famous as
Kara Swart
Nov 27, 2009 03:49pm
Rehan Saeed: The founders of Indus Valley Civilization were dravidians. The invaders destroyed the peace loving civilization, who migrated southwards and now occupy Southern India. They continue to be the most peace loving among Indians. A little research would have helped.
Kara Swart
Nov 27, 2009 03:56pm
Rehan Saeed- this might help: Quote: In view of the large number of figurines[52] found in the Indus valley, it has been widely suggested that the Harappan people worshipped a Mother goddess symbolizing fertility. However, this view has been disputed by S. Clark.[53] Some Indus valley seals show swastikas which are found in later religions and mythologies, especially in Indian religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. The earliest evidence for elements of Hinduism are present before and during the early Harappan period[54][55]. Phallic symbols resembling the Hindu Siva lingam have been found in the Harappan remains.[56][57] Many Indus valley seals show animals. One famous seal shows a figure seated in a posture reminiscent of the Lotus position and surrounded by animals was named after Pashupati (lord of cattle), an epithet of Shiva and Rudra.[58][59].[60] In the earlier phases of their culture, the Harappans buried their dead; however, later, especially in the Cemetery H culture of the late Harrapan period, they also cremated their dead and buried the ashes in burial urns, a transition notably also alluded to in the Rigveda, where the forefathers "both cremated (agnidagdh
Hassan
Nov 30, 2009 07:14am
Sorry Nadeem not a good effort.. :) Maybe you'll do good next time.
Nehan Khalid
Nov 30, 2009 07:45am
OMG I am surprised honestly at your info about Indian dramas. By the way it was a poor attempt. A perfect example of how people can degrade themselves in enmity of others. Everyone knows Sir Zaid is great and your conspiracies won
Urooj
Dec 02, 2009 12:10pm
Seriously, it's amazing what is being pandered to us as "cultural satire" these days. NFP is a pseudo intellectual if ever I saw one, who feels that just by making fun of something/someone will make him a satirist; NFP you need to do it tastefully, or make it funny at least. Better luck next time.
Saleem B.
Dec 03, 2009 06:37am
NFP you are priceless! Pity so many in Pakistan are in deep slumber!
A J
Dec 07, 2009 06:27pm
Mr. Paracha, your attempt stands as an opinion shaping, eye opening piece.
Shah
Dec 07, 2009 11:43pm
Refreshing and it did draw a chuckle or two.
Faria
Dec 08, 2009 10:59am
This is really mean....but also really funny
Junaid
Dec 14, 2009 01:28pm
Brilliant. Fantastic piece of writing. Most of the people in Pakistan might not get it, but I agree with you completely; give peace a chance. :)
ashok
Dec 14, 2009 03:00am
I think Zaid Hamid is has lost it. He is so full of ridiculous theories which are preaching hatred towards Indians.
omair malik
Dec 18, 2009 03:55pm
Well I think Zaid Hamid would be watching that drama for some education. lol
ALI KHAN
Dec 23, 2009 10:17pm
Haha, nicely written! it really gives the right picture! NFP rocks.
viciousV
Dec 27, 2009 12:04pm
Keep up the good work dude. Hope to see more of your eye opening articles.
Anand
Jan 25, 2010 10:58am
Hi NFP , Good one ...Keep it coming ... Hope we have someone like NFP ( Pakistanis you are Lucky , India does have some people like Cyrus B in This Week That Wasn't ,but NFP is miles ahead with style and content ) NPF - Please do write about India / Indians / Bollywood ...anything . Keen to see through you eyes , views and humor