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Al-spring, Al-rivers and Al-floods


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The deserts of sub-Saharan Africa have, at last witnessed the sight of a spring after 40 years of the Autumn of Nasserism (The Arab National-ism). The Berber Spring Movement is compared with 1989 pro-democratic movement, also known as The Autumn of Nations that swept through Eastern Europe and the Communist world. The Caucasian Spring began in Poland in 1989, and continued in Hungry, East Germany, Bulgaria, Czechoslovakia and Romania. The Mongoloid Spring of the Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 failed to stimulate major political changes in communist China.

The spring that sprouted from the land of the Berbers of Tunisia turned into a big stream that flowed into the land of the Pharaohs. The Berber Spring from Tunisia, irrigated the fertile land of Copts (qabti) via twitter and facebook. This spring that has now become a mighty Al-river turned towards Al-Libya, another land of the Berbers. The movement was baptised at the Al-Tahrir Square by Al-Muslim brotherhood and it became Al-Arab wal-Spring.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.

Al-Salafist and Al-Bana are now successfully reaping the fruits/dates of the Al-Spring from Egypt. At last the revolution has reached the state television of Egypt and the head scarf on women presenters will herald the golden era of democracy and rights in Egypt. The pyramids and sphinx will be basptised by the C4 in the manner of the Buddhas of Bamiyan in Afghanistan.

The Al-democratic and Al-constitution-al-movement of the Berber Spring from Africa became the Al-Arab Spring as that is now flowing like a mighty river in countries that have the remnants of Nasserism and Baathist, like Syria and Yemen. Since all of the Al-Gulf’s Al-oil must pass through the Al-Gulf, the Straits of Al-Hormuz, the Gulf of Al-Oman, and the Al-Arabian Sea and then through the Al-infidel Indian Ocean, that’s why the Al-Arab Spring really never crossed the Al-Suez Canal - into the house of Al-Saud. The Arab spring couldn’t kick start in the Democratic Republic of Saudi Arabia as there was no Tahrir Square nor were there any remnants of Nasserism.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.

The spring in Bahrain was mopped up by the Saudi Al-Akhwans as the Bahraini Shias had brought their pitchers to be filled with spring water. The spring is now inundating al-most all the lands of Sunnis, and the Shias have to live on tap water. The spring also didn’t touch the Al-Ayatollah’s Al-Persian house. The selective irrigation of Al-Spring in semi arid lands is giving fruits of its own kind that we witnessed in Ben Ghazi.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.

This Arab river is now flooding Al-Bakistani plains, as there are remnants of Nassirsm/Bhuttoism and the old Persian Spring from the times of the Mughal Emperor Humayun. Our Al-ulemas and Al-banned outfits are toiling like Farhad to bring forth the Al-Qaeda Spring from the rocky landscape of Al-Waziristan. Our PM started to clean our irrigational canals to make way for that stream by declaring a holiday to protest against a film. This stream started from the Qissa Khawani Bazaar and travelled through Raja Bazaar in Rawalpindi and Lahore’s Mall Road to the Empress Square in Karachi. The banks (especially with ATM machines), cinemas, CD shops and foreign fast food restaurants were successfully removed for the Arab Spring to flow freely in Al-Bakistan.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.

Two dual nationals, one from England and another from its former colony, Canada are trying to bring the Al-Spring to Islamabad. Messrs Sadiq and Amin will descend upon Islamabad to create another Al-Tahrir Square. They want to change the Al-Constitutional Avenue into Al-Sharia Avenue on the pattern of the Egyptian model. Al-Bakistan was toying with the idea of the Saudi model for quite some time, when the Iranian model of Khomeni emerged and the absolute authority of velayat-e faqih mesmerised our ulema. Then came a time when we started idealising the Taliban model and the absolute authority of amir-ul-momineen.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.
-Illustration by Sabir Nazar.

We want our cars and all other electronic appliances at home to be of the Japanese model, but when it comes to laws that govern us, we want only the Taliban model. We are in a state of confusion to choose either the Bangladesh model, the Turkish model or the Egyptian model. The Bangladesh model of superior judiciary and army is not suited for Pakistan as the Bangladesh constitution is secular that is sprouting from the Brahmaputra River rather than the Al-Arab Spring. The Al-Spring revolution in Egypt established the National Defense Council and exempted the defense budget from the parliaments’ oversight. That makes the Egyptian model more suitable for Pakistan rather than the Turkish model where military powers are reduced by the civilian Prime Minister.


The author left architecture for painting but ended up as a cartoonist and now writes Hijjo. He is the jack of all trades.


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

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Comments (26) Closed

Jan 02, 2013 03:09pm
Mr. Sabir, I am your ardent fan but would dare to differ with your views regarding Mulana Tahir ul Qadir movement, he did not say in any of his interviews that he came to bring Sharia law or want to change constitution, he simply want the constitutional articles relating to holding free and fair elections including scrutiny of candidates are followed in letter and spirit so that all citizens of Pakistan should have level playing field otherwise we have to put up with the same lot of corrupt politicians coming again and again after changing the parties.
Jan 02, 2013 02:19pm
Oh boy!.What is wrong with you Al muslims? Never heard of Al peace, Al harmony, Al justice to all residents, Al sharing of wealth among the deserving. Al education, Al industries and jobs and Al using the money to make your deserts to grow food for the people when the Al oil will one day run out.Finanaly come the time you muslims will accept each sub sects of your religion and then become the Al Islam.
Pulak Mukherjee
Jan 02, 2013 02:53pm
Brilliant satire brother but could be dangerous for your health!
Jan 02, 2013 03:03pm
Sabir sb.....the satire was there but it sounded rather a huge tongue twister article...atleast you have got me pronouncing every word with the Al- prefix. :(
Soul of Manto
Jan 02, 2013 03:34pm
OMG. Hilarious from start to finish. You have a way with words. More power to your pen.
Jan 02, 2013 02:24pm
Last article from this writer was good. This one is useless.
Jan 03, 2013 07:11pm
Al-lah ...funny
raw is war
Jan 02, 2013 03:03pm
Al-BakistanI, Al-goodarticle.
Ahmed Saeed
Jan 02, 2013 02:56pm
Hip Hip Hurray. Excellent Sabir Nazir.
Jan 02, 2013 04:33pm
Al-Brilliant !
Jan 04, 2013 10:17am
Our problem is that we live in sub-continent and believe that we are the part of Arab peninsula whereas Arabs do not accept us as Arabs because we are not but still people like Zaid Hamid tries their best to make us believe that we are not only simply Arabs but we are Arab warriors sent from the heavens to conquer the whole world with our divine swords
Jan 07, 2013 02:16am
I am also wishing to all Al muslims more Al tolerance, Al open-mindedness and Al love... :)
Jan 02, 2013 05:02pm
Jan 02, 2013 05:44pm
Loved the 'two dual citizens' part :)
Jan 02, 2013 06:16pm
Al-Sabir-Al-Nazar...You are simply Al-excellent.
Jan 02, 2013 07:08pm
You sounded like NFP part-II. Satirical yet profound. Thank you and keep'em coming.
aim ran
Jan 02, 2013 07:14pm
sabir sb.. its always nice to read your thoughts.... it truely reflects the irony of affairs....
Jan 02, 2013 07:17pm
Hell - Bakistan! Al-power to people! Bravo!
Jan 03, 2013 02:02am
vijay, chennai
Jan 03, 2013 04:59am
Al powerful narrative
Revolution! once more
Jan 03, 2013 05:14am
Himmate marda mdade khuda.. Salute to the brave-heart! writer for calling a spade a spade.
Atheoi khan
Jan 03, 2013 05:20am
MARHABA, Al Excellento...
Jan 03, 2013 05:29am
nice... Al-Bakistan hahahaha.... term Al-Barkistan could have been more suitable.
Jan 03, 2013 05:34am
Al Habibi Al Ballay Ballay
Jan 03, 2013 05:42am
Spring? I will only comment with a verse from Iqbal. "MUJH KO DAR HAYE KEH HAYE TIFLANA TABI'AT TERI;; AUR AYYAR HAIn EUROPE KAY SHAKAR PARA FIROSH." It is too early to say something what this SPRING has in store for these countries or for the Muslim world."DEKHIYE IS BEHR KI TEH SAY UCHHALTA HAI KIYA; GUMBAD-I-NEELOFARI RANG BADALTA HAYE KIYA"
Jan 03, 2013 06:15am
Hahaha, Al-Spring, Al-Nut, Al-Bolt! Keep it up Sabir Nazir....