Man fires gun at website, then turns the gun on his avatar and commits virtual suicide
Lahore: A man shot at a website and then turned the gun on his avatar that he was using on the site’s discussion forum.
Police said the man, 26-year-old, Arif Hamid, is a resident of DHA Lahore who was incensed by the website, accusing it of running content that was against his faith. The man was arrested while his avatar’s body was sent for post-mortem.
The website, ‘Let Us Body-Build Pakistan,’ was unhurt, but the laptop that the man was using was badly mutilated.
However, PML-N leader and Chief Minister of Punjab, Mian Shahbaz Sharif, promised to gift a free laptop to the man. The gesture is a part of his party’s on-going scheme to hand out laptops to angry young men with a penchant to create world records for singing the Pakistani national anthem while doing a thousand cartwheels in less than a minute. This is something that Sharif believes will be beneficial to the country’s struggling economy.
After Arif Hamid was arrested and taken to a police station, he was allowed to speak to a group of reporters. Talking to them while holding a broken computer mouse in his hand, Hamid said: ‘Oh these fools Jew peoples insult holy men and child of true faith on Friday after Friday sometimes Saturday morning playing with emotion of true faithfuls liberal fascist US servants Kill Bill PTI Tsunami change bringing coming Zindabad …!’
After hearing this, Shahbaz Sharif cancelled his order of giving the man the free laptop and ordered the Punjab police to start criminal proceedings against him. He added that if the need arises, the man should be hanged from a lamppost.
‘Imran Khan’s PTI is the country’s biggest terrorist organisation and most corrupt party,’ Sharif told media personnel while watching hundreds of young Pakistanis create a world record by making the world’s biggest hairpiece that will be placed on the head of Mr. Sharif’s 70-ft statue at his Raiwind home.
Meanwhile, the owner of the website, Mr. Nick Anonymous, a Pakistani Buddhist living in Rangoon, Burma, blamed anti-Buddhist journalists and outfits for using Arif Hameed as a proxy to proximate promiscuous patriotic pomposity against Pakistani Buddhists.
Talking to this reporter from Rangoon, Mr. Nick Anonymous (his real name) said: ‘Our site might have been shot at, but our spirit to expose anti-Buddhist terrorism of the proximate promiscuous pompous patriot proxies will continue.’
On the other hand, while responding to Shahbaz Sharif’s statement, PTI chief, Imran Khan, commented that Arif Hamid’s avatar might be gone, but there is a tsunami of avatars and nicks still out there ready to change the fate and face of Pakistan.
‘They are all over,’ Mr. Khan’s statement said. ‘They are called trolls and all kinds of obnoxious and abusive things by corrupt politicians and liberal scum, but they’ve shown great restrain by not stooping down to the level of their accusers.’
Charged and inspired by Khan’s statement, his supporters responded by making #DeathToSlimyLiberalPigs trend heavily on Twitter.
Till the filing of this report, Arif Hamid had been refused bail but his avatar was buried on the internet by PTI supporters on CelebrityGraves.Com between the virtual graves of American rock star, Jim Morrison, and the grave of an innocent Islamist militant killed in an American drone attack.
Expressing his satisfaction, Arif Hamid thanked his supporters and tweeted (from behind bars): ‘Oh you thank you Muslim ummah Jim Bhai hates Jew drones avatar rest in piece with Muslim mujahid tsunami coming DeathToSlimyLiberalPigs …’
______________________________Pakistan to launch its own video-content site to counter YouTube
Islamabad: On Tuesday November 13, Interior Minister, Rehman Malik, announced the launch of Pakistan’s own video-content website.
At a launch ceremony held at a local hotel in Islamabad, and also attended by the chief of Jamat-i-Islami (JI) Munwar Hassan, head of the Jamiat Ulema Islam (JUI), Maullana Fazalur Rehman, and the youth wings of Imran Khan’s PTI and PML-N, Rehman told the gathering that the site was launched to counter the anti-Muslim hate content on YouTube and against those who were uploading such content.
Rehman said the Pakistani site is going to be called YouB***tards and will be squarely used to counter those who were bent upon insulting Muslims on YouTube.
Much of the funding for the project has come from Pakistani workers living in oil-rich Arab countries, but Rehman informed reporters that funding for the project was also raised by all those brave Pakistanis who demolished cinemas, shops and banks and looted ATM machines during the recent protests against an anti-Islam film on YouTube.
‘Much of the looted ATM money and chairs from Bambino and Nishat cinemas were donated to the project,’ Rehman happily added.
‘We politicians may differ on various trivial issues like terrorism, economy and crime, but here we are all on the same page,’ he said.
He further added that he had even invited some Tehreek-e-Taliban (TTP) leaders to the launch ceremony but they wanted to give YouB***tards an explosive start by coming to the launch in a truck rigged with explosives and with men wrapped in dynamite. He said some firecrackers and flag burnings would have sufficed.
Rehman also screened the first video to be uploaded on YouB***tards. It shows JI and JUI supporters making a bonfire of books written by such atheists as Charles Darwin, Karl Marx, Bertrand Russell, Richard Dawkins, Stephen Hawking, Christopher Hitchens and SpongeBob SquarePants.