Dawn News

Breaking News: Target killing attempt by dogs

Following an attempt on my life today, I have registered an FIR at the Clinton Thana:

a. Report Number; PPC-1836

b. Date and time of report; 29 October 2012; 10AM

c. Complainant/informant’s name and residence; Vaqar Ahmed, Seventh Heaven Apartments, Clinton Karachi.  

d. Provision of Penal Code applicable to the offence; PPC 324 (attempted murder)

e. Site of occurrence of offence; Seaview Beach, Clinton, Karachi

f. Name of the accused, if known/or suspect; Dogs: One female and three males.  Names unknown.   Humans: Names Unknown

Report (taken down by SHO, Clinton Thana):

The complainant appeared at the Police Station in a miserable condition. His clothes were covered in sand and he had difficulty in talking, his mouth was full of sand that he was constantly trying to spit out. He was incoherent and cursing under his breath. His kurta was torn. Since he clearly appeared an anti social element he was immediately put under arrest for disturbing public order and uttering obscenities (Sections 506 and 526 of the PPC). Upon search, a tube containing explosive material (nitroglycerine) was found on him.  Thus the additional charge of terrorism was added to the list of offenses. At this point IB, MI and ISI were promptly informed.

Upon rigorous questioning by a joint team of intelligence agencies it transpired that the man was a part time photographer and journalist. He claimed that he was not a criminal and on the contrary a victim of a vicious attempt on his life. The nitroglycerine tube was an inhaler for emergency treatment (he had a heart problem) in case of a heart attack.

According to the complainant (referred to as “Uncle” due to his advanced age) he was taking his usual morning walk on the Seaview beach when he saw a notice on the fence of the adjoining park that declared four categories of evildoers who would be sent directly to hell without any trial. One of the categories was “Photographers”.

Warning posted on the wall adjacent the beach. See point 3 in the chalked message. -Photo by author

He did not pay heed to the warning and continued on to the beach, taking pictures as he walked along. Suddenly, he heard the bark of a pack of dogs: four dogs were heading in his direction at breakneck speed. Since dogs in public places are usually meek, he tried to shoo them away. Somehow this did not work and the dogs, led by a she dog, kept coming at him. He picked up a piece of metal (which unfortunately turned out to be a piece of painted foam) and used it as a weapon but of no avail.

Seeing no escape, he tried to run away from the scene. Sensing victory, the assailants pounced on him and managed to rip a piece of his fancy Khaadi kurta.  He fell flat on his face while his camera took off and landed up in the sand somewhere.

The camera was followed by his glasses and his cell phone that flew away somewhere on the beach. The cell phone further split into two parts thereby complicating the matter. For reasons unknown to him, the team of assassin dogs did not attack him any further, the probable reason being that they had eaten enough meat leftover from the BaqrEid from the garbage dump. After checking that all his body parts were still attached he got up gingerly, collected his belonging strewn in the sand and made his way back to safety and to the Thana.

The crime scene. -Photo by author

He is maintaining that this was a case of target killing attempt against photographers and the dogs were under the command and control of the extremists who had written the warning sign. He further pointed out that the day earlier the Maulvi delivering the Eid khutba had spoken against putting any pictures in a house, as angels did not enter where there were pictures of man or beast. This indicates that an organised group of picture hating clerics could have formed a clandestine group aimed at eliminating photographers.

Uncle also pointed out that there was a shoe near the crime scene that could have belonged to an earlier victim.

A shoe potentially belonging to another victim. -Photo by author

He stated that if action were not taken within two days the matter would be taken to the Supreme Court requesting SuoMoto action.

The complainant has also demanded an armed escort, a mobile emergency ambulance and KMC dog catchers on his future walks to the beach.

Signed:

Recorder: Chaudary Karam Dad, SHO            ___________________________ Complainant: Vaqar Ahmed Alias Uncle      ___________________________

 


The author is an engineer turned part-time journalist who likes to hang out at unfashionable places like shrines, railway stations and bus stops.

 


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.


Email news tips and feedback to News Desk, submit blogs to Blog Desk and share photos and Videos with Special Projects Desk.


Vaqar Ahmed is an engineer turned part-time journalist who likes to hang out at unfashionable places like shrines, railway stations and bus stops.


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.


Comments (20) Closed



amra ali
Oct 30, 2012 01:02pm
I truly feel for 'uncle'; but salute his resilience at facing the 'terrorists' with so much courage AND humor. It could have been worse, he could have been attacked by human terrorists, shot at gunpoint esp if he was carrying an expensive camera. On another note, I have personally witnessed DHA officials chasing and shooting pie dogs in empty plots in broad daylight, in phase 6. surely, there must be a more humane way of getting rid of pie dogs.
Wajid
Oct 30, 2012 09:50am
great piece.... love the sarcastic way in which the author has put the whole event !
Hifsa
Nov 01, 2012 08:55am
really? you don't read much then do you? lol
malik
Oct 31, 2012 06:58am
Pretty funny.
sum
Oct 30, 2012 05:23pm
universal attention seeker,,,,,thats what we pakistani are now ,,,,,,lol
Sheema Kermani
Oct 30, 2012 04:19pm
So well written. Loved the sense of humour through out! Sheema Kermani
Adeel Khalid
Oct 31, 2012 11:03am
simple.lucid.fun provoking & full of humor. Love it.
jkchaturvedi
Oct 30, 2012 09:47am
It is very unfortunate accident. If there are really photographers haters them its a very sorry condition demanding universal attention.
mmM
Oct 30, 2012 11:12am
lolll ultimate sarcasm!
suicidalprincess
Oct 31, 2012 08:04am
Love it! Funny, witty and it packs a punch
Sahar
Oct 31, 2012 08:01am
Don't stop writing :) the wittiest funniest thing I have read in ages, that packs a punch.
amra ali
Oct 30, 2012 05:57pm
i also wanted to add that this is a piece of creative genius! how you weave the social and the political so effortlessly; your cynicism and depiction of the pathetic is absolutely amazing; and it made me laugh , thats amazing..
Gazoo Martian
Oct 31, 2012 03:41pm
A story good for an April Fool Day
Ghalib Khan
Oct 31, 2012 05:05am
It is the irony the the so called religious leaders who oppose the Photography have the biggest posters of them trying to look intelligent during their rally's and specially in election campaigns
Razzaq
Oct 31, 2012 08:42pm
Really hilarious. More please.
Sadia
Oct 31, 2012 01:07pm
Uncle, please keep commenting on Karachi's and your experiences with 'terrorism'. In all the madness, humor is never lost.
Bogdan
Oct 31, 2012 04:41am
obvious fiction that must be stated in the blog for to avoid confusion!
Vaqar Ahmed
Oct 31, 2012 02:48pm
Partial fiction actually. Everything except the visit to the Thana actually happened.
Mystic
Oct 31, 2012 08:15am
Booooorrrrrrrrriiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggg
Neshm
Oct 30, 2012 11:12am
Maybe he should have taken heed from hearing the earlier maulvi khutabah and put off his camera for a few days. Why do you listen to the khutbah anyway if you want to right away go and do the opposite. Such is the fate of hypocrites and we can only imagine which will be their final resting place.