Politics in 2011 was about flirtations and break-ups and public unions and secret romances.
Akin to high school dating, in which the only rule is that there are no rules, political parties and politicians played out the game of love in public and in private. They broke up in the glare of television cameras; they made up behind closed doors; they threatened to walk out for good but then stayed put.
The most famous of the on-again, off-again relationships was the Muttahida Qaumi Movement-Pakistan People’s Party one. But even this was nearly overshadowed by the public announcement of the most unlikely secret romance — the Pakistan Muslim League-Quaid’s dalliance with the PPP.
The latter’s tryst with the party it once called the ‘Qatil League’ was a marriage of convenience. It needed numbers to prop up its government so that the MQM would realise it had other birds in hand.
The Chaudhries, on the other hand, had long been waiting for a benefactor. Bereft after the 2008 elections because Nawaz Sharif refused to forgive them for ditching him after 1999, the PML-Q needed the PPP at a time when there were no other prominent suitors.
If reports are to be believed the flirtation started last year, but it came to fruition in 2011 when the MQM had staged one walkout too many. Leaks in the media and statements suggested that the PML-Q was promised far more than just a few seats in the cabinet: the post of deputy prime minister, an electoral alliance, seat adjustments.
But rarely are promises made in the giddy days of flirtation fulfilled. Perhaps the only favour the Chaudhries got out of it was the dropping of corruption charges against Moonis Elahi and his release from jail, after which he was immediately sent off to the United Kingdom.
In fact, by October the PML-Q had resigned from the cabinet, only to be called back and cajoled. Although its tantrums will always pale in comparison to the MQM’s, the PPP’s second partner turned out to be quite a prima donna too.
But tantrums aside, the Chaudhries know this is a romance that may not last. A happy ending is unlikely, though they have little choice but to defend President Asia Ali Zardari now just as they once spoke in favour of Gen (retd) Pervez Musharraf, whom they vowed to re-elect time and again in uniform.
But in 2011 the PPP and the PML-N also worked hard toward their own happy endings, a.k.a let’s-keep-our-governments-going-regardless-of-cost-involved. Whichever partner they had to hang out with publicly and whoever they flirted with privately, all was kosher, as was surreptitiously accepting the support of lotas who Sharif senior pretended to turn up his nose at.
Which brings up another secret romance. Everyone knew the PML-N made promises to the forward bloc in the Punjab Assembly, but in public the party acted as if it was too upright for such assignations. Hypocrisy, thy name is politics.
In the midst of all this, a new kid appeared on the block.
With a rise as inexplicable and clichéd as that of the new student who becomes one of the most popular in school (from Grease and Grease 2 to Mean Girls, the pick of film for an appropriate parallel is yours), Imran Khan had politicos lining up for dates.
But most of these were has-beens who had no hope of scoring with the already popular kids. Will he manage to charm more of those who have dates with the jocks? Only time will tell. But all of them, be they MQM or PML-Q or those heading for Khan, are trying to prepare for the future while living in the present.
The prom is near, and the politicos are hoping it will be held sooner rather than later. They also know that the prom king and queen of the past will be dumped once it is held. Never in Pakistan’s history have the ‘chosen ones’ (be it the establishment or the people who have done the choosing) enjoyed an encore.
That is why all those waiting in the wings are now looking around feverishly for the next lucky few. But because they know D-day may take a good year to arrive, they don’t want to snub the existing elite either. So all of them are bowing and scraping for a place at the most popular table in the cafeteria while trying to impress those who may rule in the future.
Telling politicians to ignore political games is about as effective as telling teenagers to ignore the school’s social structures. Counting on the strength within and the support of the people will lead to victory in the end, without having to play petty, humiliating games. But such pleas fall on deaf ears.
So the intrigues and the confusion, the comings and the goings, and the on-again, off-again romances and alliances will continue.
Till the elections they will all dance so.
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