Dawn News

ISLAMABAD: In a daring raid, Saudi Special Forces arrested renegade Afghan leader, Mullah Omar, from a famous five-star hotel located in one of Pakistan’s most popular vacation spots – Bhurban.

The news spread like wildfire and people were seen cursing the Pakistani government for allowing the Americans to undermine Pakistan’s sovereignty – again.

However, when it became clear that the raid was not conducted by the Americans but the Saudis, the frowns turned into smiles and many were heard saying, ‘Jazzakallah!’

Only minutes after the raid, Pakistan’s prime minister and Army Chief appeared on state-owned television and congratulated the nation and thanked the Saudi regime for helping Pakistan in its war against terror.

Interestingly, religious parties like Jamaat-i-Islami, (JI) Jamiat Ulema-i-Islam (JUI) and some banned sectarian organisations, along with Imran Khan’s Pakistan Thereek-i-Insaf (PTI) which had originally called a joint press conference to condemn the raid, changed their stance half-way through the conference when told that the raid was by Saudi forces and not the Americans.

Munawar Hussain, JI, chief, was first heard lambasting Pakistan’s PPP-led civilian government for letting the country’s sovereignty be violated by the Americans, but after a reporter confirmed that the raid was executed by Saudi forces, Munawar turned to Imran Khan and embraced him.

‘Mahshallah!’ he exclaimed. “Today is a glorious day for our Islamic republic!”

Imran Khan and JUI chief Fazalur Rehman had earlier questioned the real identity of the man arrested from the five-star hotel, saying that even if it was Mullah Omar, we should be ashamed because Omar was a freedom fighter, conducting a liberation war against the Americans.

However, after it became clear that the arrest was made by Saudi forces, both Imran and Fazal then claimed that Mullah Omar was no friend of Pakistan and that he was not even a Muslim.

In a joint statement, JI, JUI and PTI, congratulated the nation and said that they had been saying all along that the Taliban were Pakistan’s greatest enemies and should be exterminated.

The statement also said that the PTI and JI will continue to hold sit-ins against American drones which were parachuting evil men like Mullah Omar into Pakistan and violating the sovereignty of the country. For this, the statement suggested, that Ahmad Shah Abdali should be invited to invade Pakistan and defeat the Americans.

When told that Abdali died almost two hundred years ago, PTI and JI termed this to be nothing more than western propaganda.

Imran Khan added, that from now on he should be addressed as Imran of Ghaznavi and that one of Pakistan’s most prominent revolutionary and youngest nuclear physicists, Zohair Toru, was building anti-drone missiles.

Toru, who was also present at the conference, confirmed this while licking a lemon flavoured popsicle. He said it was a very hot day and popsicles helped him concentrate.

Meanwhile, a military spokesman also held a press conference to give the media a briefing on the details of the raid.

He said the raid was executed by Saudi Special Forces who came from Saudi military bases in Riyadh.

The helicopters then landed on Margala Hills in Islamabad. On the lush hills, Saudi soldiers disembarked from the copters, got on camels and rode all the way to Bhurban in broad daylight.

They were twice stopped at checkpoints by Pakistani Rangers but were allowed to cross when some Saudi soldiers said something to the rangers in Arabic. It is believed that the Saudis promised the Rangers jobs in Saudi Arabia.

An eyewitness claims the Rangers smiled and waved to the departing camels, cheering ‘marhaba, marhaba.’

The camel army reached the five-star hotel in Bhurban at 11:00 am and right away rode their way into the sprawling premises.

The camels were also carrying rocket launchers, sub-machineguns, pistols, grenades and popcorn, all concealed in large ‘Dubai Duty Free’ shopping bags.

The military spokesman added that although the Pakistan Army had no clue about the raid, there were a dozen or so Pakistani military personnel present at the hotel.

When asked whether these men questioned the camel riders, the spokesman said that they did see the armed camels enter the hotel but the military men were at the time more interested in interrogating a 77-year-old Caucasian male whom they had arrested for smoking in a non-smoking area.

“After the Abbottabad incident, we are keeping a firm eye on Europeans and Americans,” the spokesman said.

Even though the white man turned out to be an old Polish tourist, the spokesman praised the military men’s vigilance. “Our country’s sovereignty is sacred,” he added.

According to the Pakistan military, the Saudis then rode their camels into one of the hotel’s kitchens and fired teargas shells.

This way they smoked out the chefs and their staff out into the open. From these, a Saudi commander got hold of a one-eyed chef with an untidy beard.

The Saudi commander looked at the chef and compared his face to a photograph he was carrying. He asked: ‘Al-Mullah-ul-Omar?’ To which the chef was reported to have said: “No, al-chicken jalfrezi. Also make very tasty mutton kebabs.”

The commander then asked, ‘Al-Afghani?’ to which the chef said, “Yes make Afghani tikka too. You want?”

A reporter asked the military spokesman whether the Pakistani military men present at the hotel witnessed the operation. The spokesman answered in affirmative but said they didn’t take any action after confirming that Pakistan’s sovereignty was not being violated.

The reporter then asked how the military men determined that Pakistan’s sovereignty was not being violated. Answering this, the spokesman said that since the camel riders were speaking Arabic there was thus no reason for the military to charge them with violating Pakistan’s sovereignty.

This statement made the media men at the press conference very happy and they consequently began applauding and raising emotional slogans praising Islam, ISI and palm trees.

Soon after the announcement that Mullah Omar was arrested by Saudi forces, the country’s private TV channels became animated. One famous TV talk-show host actually decided to host his show in a Bedouin tent. Instead of a chair, he sat on a camel wearing a Pakistan Army uniform.

Though most of his guests — that included prominent ex-generals, clergymen and strategic analysts — praised the operation and heaped scorn at Mullah Omar, there was one guest, a small-time journalist, who disagreed with the panelists.

He asked how a wanted man like Mullah Omar was able to live in Pakistan undetected and that too while working as a chef in a famous five-star hotel. He also said that Mullah Omar had also been appearing on various cooking shows as a chef on various food channels.

To this, the host snubbed the journalist telling him that he was asking irrelevant questions.

‘But before this operation, everyone was supporting the Taliban and telling us they were fighting a liberation war against the Americans,’ the journalist protested.

‘No,’ said the host, ‘it was the civilian government that was in cahoots with the Taliban. It should resign.’

‘No,’ the journalist replied, ‘it was our agencies!’

This made the host angry and he slapped the journalist. He threatened the journalist by saying that he would lodge a case against him in accordance with the Islamic hudood ordinance.

The journalist responded by saying that the Saudis had violated Pakistan’s sovereignty. Hearing this, the host slapped the journalist again, saying he will get him booked for blasphemy.

At the end of the show the host and the panelists burned an American flag and sang the Pakistani national anthem in Arabic. Then, after handing over the treacherous journalist to the authorities, they proceeded to Saudi Arabia to perform hajj.

However, they were soon deported by the Saudi regime for violating Saudi sovereignty.

 

 

Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com.

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

 


Email news tips and feedback to News Desk, submit blogs to Blog Desk and share photos and Videos with Special Projects Desk.


Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com

He tweets @NadeemfParacha


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.


Comments (216) Closed



Usman Zia
May 13, 2011 12:26pm
NFP if you take this storyline to broadway for a stage play and it will be an instant blockbuster.
Raj
May 13, 2011 12:28pm
Hilarious! Luckily for you the Taliban cannot read this.
Singh G
May 13, 2011 12:30pm
ROFL, Great post, funny but true. In fact, it is a bittersweet thing.
Sakeel
May 13, 2011 12:32pm
Same old stuff...boring..
Asad A.
May 13, 2011 12:35pm
Good job.
J S Batra
May 13, 2011 12:42pm
NFP- you are the best. I visit Dawn site primarily to read your blogs. Keep it going.
senthil
May 13, 2011 12:45pm
First time,Am disappointed.
Fried
May 13, 2011 12:48pm
Not laughing. Too busy dying.
munib
May 13, 2011 12:50pm
hahahahahahah boht aala !!
Usman Shahid
May 13, 2011 12:53pm
Extremely bored stuff.
Ali
May 13, 2011 12:54pm
I am never a fan of ur article.... but this one is amazing.... fiction but not fiction.... Not true but very true.. I rate this as your best article
Ahmed
May 13, 2011 12:57pm
Very nice NFP. You are the best.
Khan Wali
May 13, 2011 01:02pm
Seems to be a Punjabi film script.
Shoaib Rabbani
May 13, 2011 01:03pm
What a wonderful piece of article! Although NFP becomes too over at times but this one really made my day! Hilarious!
Gopal Patel
May 13, 2011 01:11pm
A political satire par excellence! I have not read any thing comparable since a long time
AR
May 13, 2011 01:11pm
..you speak out of my soul!! Amazing!
bpshah
May 13, 2011 01:13pm
Another hilarious satire from NFP... I am reminded of RK Laxman. I am told that he was asked how long day in day out he will bring out his famous "common man" cartoons & he is said to have replied,"I thank Indian Politicians to supply me the unending quota of raw material..
Mohsin
May 13, 2011 01:32pm
the crux of all problems being faced by Pakistan.... does anyone understand the concept of a nation state in this country?? Such a great satire!!!
Anantharaman Rangan
May 13, 2011 01:36pm
Excellent imaginative article. Even the greatest evil can be defeated if mocked at. Great dictators therefore did not allow cartoons and parodies. This piece is wonderful and helps us laugh at serious matters.
Hafsa Syed
May 13, 2011 01:57pm
LOL! Love the way you use satire to expose the double-standards of my countrymen.
Wajahat
May 13, 2011 02:01pm
Nadeem Paracha, I cannot control my laughter. Although a great piece of satire but you are talking the truth that is far bitter for most of us to accept. The point that you highlighted is that our sovereignty is only important when violated by west and is in fact a moment to celebrate when done the same by Arabs specially Saudis. Wiki leaks besides other facts also revealed the level of interference (I should rather call it Holly interference) of Saudis in our politics alongside Americans but only west is blamed in our society. Arabs play us very well and when we land in their countries humiliate us very well.
Puneet chauhan
May 13, 2011 02:06pm
ultimate writeup .....dawn has some of the best critics and reality facing couragious person.....pak can only b saved by these persons...if they really wana save...promote these men....
Invincible Warrior
May 13, 2011 02:11pm
You are one of the best blogger i have ever come across. Your articles define your mindset and level of understanding.
Faisal
May 13, 2011 02:12pm
Loved it!
dust
May 13, 2011 02:15pm
Same old concept of NFP, same Old characters, JI, JUI, Imran Khan, KSA, Pakistan Army...Come on NFP....It is becoming a boring 100th episode of StarPlus drama.....
usman
May 13, 2011 02:20pm
Amazing writing from NFP. He was loosing the plot the last few weeks. but back to his best now.
malik
May 13, 2011 02:30pm
These hired guns can't defame the leader of future Imran Khan. He is already making his way to Islamabad with mass support.
Shahan
May 13, 2011 02:35pm
Boring. What are you trying to prove???
Greg
May 13, 2011 02:41pm
Saved from what Puneet chauhan. Pakistan and Pakistanis had nothing whatsoever to do with 9/11, same as Iraq and the Iraqis. Osama came to Pakistan / Afghanistan to fight America's proxy war with the Soviet Union. Yet people like you and Nadeem continue to malign this great nation.
usman siddiqui
May 13, 2011 02:42pm
BORING ! its time to write on some different affairs rather than against TALIBAN, MULLAHISM etc. seems that u have nothing else to write
Rao
May 13, 2011 02:42pm
Very witty! LOL! However, feel sad for loss of young lives of 80 trainess reported killed in yesterday's blast. Will the authorities at least wake up now, chase the perpetrators to where ever they are and bring them to justice? Is this how bin Laden is 'paying back' for his long safe stay?
Kashif Jan
May 13, 2011 02:48pm
Great diatribe - devoid of much reality and passed off as satire - very smart indeed
imran khalid
May 13, 2011 02:49pm
We are subject to our prejudices, however I always though Nadeem Paracha was a man who has overcome such state being a journalist. I like your article and it's right but the only question I would like to raise is how many times have you taken a critical look at PPP and especially Zardari who the destroyed Pakistan from within. How many times have you questioned this man's credentials and his state of mind. I have not seen it once. I think it would be an nothing but achievement from your side to critically assess the party you support and look at the damage they have caused to the country. I am not saying the alternatives are any better but you should look at all the angles. Recently you have become like a stuck record, going on about the same thing again and again and again.
amit
May 13, 2011 02:54pm
Excellant article. and food for thought too. it can help in shed away the double standards.
Shehryar Khan
May 13, 2011 03:03pm
WALLAH! Very well framed and not loosing a grip anywhere. I Bet the same is going to happen, maybe with a slight difference. Marhaba!
Vas
May 13, 2011 03:10pm
Excellent .. and Bravo. I wish we have him here in India. Wonder what he would come up on 2G scam ...
Hamza
May 13, 2011 03:11pm
Hahaha! Amazing.
shahzaib
May 13, 2011 03:12pm
Not funny!
Kanwar K S Jamwal
May 13, 2011 03:14pm
How do you manage to come out with such stuff considering the sensitivity and the problems a country is going through. I guess this is the best way to make people understand the realities by bringing out the core issues in such form and manner. Amazing.. What a wit?
Amir
May 13, 2011 03:14pm
Great job
shahid
May 13, 2011 03:17pm
Great satire. Humor is the best medicine to tear off the masks of the hippocrates. Congratulations.
bp
May 13, 2011 03:22pm
so much pain when you realise that NFP wirtes "truth in your face" satire that leaves you with serious introspection.
tauseef
May 13, 2011 03:22pm
it was not funny at all, it was all about undermining who invaded pakistan on may2
bangaloreboy
May 13, 2011 03:23pm
Mr Paracha's article is a satirical masterpiece! with each punch better than the previous one. keep it coming!
Muneer
May 13, 2011 03:27pm
Lame.
Vinoth
May 13, 2011 03:27pm
Nice satire; Particularly the "al-chicken jalfrezi" episode.
Khan
May 13, 2011 03:34pm
far from reality and even farther from humor ... its just lame pure lame article!
Saima Shams
May 13, 2011 04:20pm
What a suberb article. I can't stop myself from laughing!! Great work!!
Arslan
May 13, 2011 04:30pm
I do agree up to some extend.
Nagaraj, India
May 13, 2011 04:31pm
Nadeem generally writes very serious articles. This humorous article from him very very good.
Rob
May 13, 2011 04:38pm
This is exactly what Nadeem is hitting at Greg, you seem at a loss to understand reality. For a minute set aside your national and religious pride and introspect at what is happening to your great country and you will realise.
rk singh
May 13, 2011 04:40pm
why bother reading it then?
SOP
May 13, 2011 04:42pm
Wel done, message between the lines-people will take ages to understand it
Indian
May 13, 2011 04:44pm
Hey man, excellent satire in these troubled times :). We need you in India against corruption. I amnot sure how much you make a difference in this country with so many militant heads out there .Just take a break and visit india.
yawar
May 13, 2011 04:44pm
Really, which Islamabad is that?
Lucknow Nivasi
May 13, 2011 04:45pm
Great satire! Just knowing that it was published in a main newspaper gave me good feelings about press freedom in Pakistan.
J
May 13, 2011 04:55pm
Lame ... There are limits of satire ...
Abbas
May 13, 2011 05:02pm
i wish we all were so introspective, the day we do self critique and change ourselves for the better, will be the beginning of a bright future.
Schazad
May 13, 2011 05:06pm
I likesssssssss it
Javed Iqbal
May 13, 2011 05:02pm
This is the best comic piece of journalism I have ever read. Paracha sahib perhaps you should focus on writing more of these in the future. I read this and simply laughed and laughed. Seriously, your article gives a true glimpse into the pakistani psyche.
Apurva
May 13, 2011 05:50pm
Not too bad. NFP had a many even better ones in the past.
Sandip
May 13, 2011 07:29pm
Rocking!
Avik Roy
May 13, 2011 07:29pm
Pakistan's future is tied with India, not with China, USA or the Arabic nations. This is due to it's historical, cultural and civilisational background. Embracing others at the cost of shunning India has not been productive, will never be. Thanks for the nice artcle.
Human
May 13, 2011 07:40pm
Dear Nadeem F. Paracha great, thanks to Dawn for supporting and publising Nadeem's great wirtings Thanks
salim
May 13, 2011 07:58pm
Ouch NFP...that was hot. Now you will be facing the wrath of some of the foaming readers :) keep writing man and take care!
Barry
May 13, 2011 08:05pm
pity you don't appreciate good satire! Masked in NFP's humor is the true picture of Pakistan society. One of the very few people in our media circles who tell it like it is! NFP should do a 1 hour satire show on TV!
Boney
May 13, 2011 08:14pm
This is too good... awesome.....
Amol
May 13, 2011 08:16pm
Your comedy story sounds almost true, if things were to actually happen that way. Given this piece of story, I wonder, the present situation should actually be classified as a block-buster comedy in Pakistan.
Parivesh Sahu
May 13, 2011 08:26pm
Oh my God.... I am dying with laughter. But believe me Nadeem, there are plenty of jokers out of Pakistan too, in fact much more. I would love to read your article on them too....
Sabahat
May 13, 2011 08:53pm
HILL-AY-REE-US.
mazbut
May 13, 2011 08:55pm
excellent series of articles. NFP has it. We need more like him to offer some relief to the confused ppl.
balu
May 13, 2011 08:57pm
I am not sure if blogs/articles like this will reach non English speaking readers in Pakistan. Very interesting and I am sure it will change the thinking of people who hate Americans.
Serendippp
May 13, 2011 09:17pm
Hard hitting as usual. NFP an acronym for Never Fails to Provoke?
Hareem
May 13, 2011 09:24pm
hahahahahahaha.... I had a good laugh. This article highlights that 'blind spot' in the sight of our nation on the whole- something to think about!
yusuf
May 13, 2011 09:45pm
Write something for the guidance of Pakistanis as well!
Rajesh Inamdar
May 13, 2011 09:50pm
NFP, Man you are simply brilliant !! I wish India had your counterpart ..
Amarnath
May 13, 2011 10:00pm
NFP, Your targets will find it difficult to escape truth. You have brought out the shades of character of some leaders is very a humorous way. You are making it simple for people like us to understand. Thanks to you and others in the Dawn.
Ahmad German
May 13, 2011 10:04pm
Nadeem, you certainly cheer me up and made my day. I had so much fun reading this, I laughed like crazy. Thanks
Nasir from USA Ca
May 13, 2011 10:05pm
Paracha sahib, a heartily congratulation on this piece of critic on our contemporary situation and our politicians. This is not a reporting, its a piece of art. I laughed and laughed while i was reading. Thank you and God Bless you and our country!!
ahmed adeel
May 13, 2011 10:06pm
good piece of satire--nothing more
M Hasan
May 13, 2011 10:12pm
NFP ,I was waiting one from you & here you go! Humour at its best! Extra Extra! You made my day.
Rana
May 13, 2011 10:14pm
Since when Imran praising Saudis King??? Plz don't defame great leader. One can be disagree with his political ideology, but you have to admire his sincerity and determination.
Jawad
May 13, 2011 10:19pm
OMG... This is hilarious. Love the camel part.
Hayder
May 13, 2011 10:25pm
Great article! This is a perfect representation of what happened in Karachi few days back with respect to OBL issue and support for S.A. regime by religigious groups. They did Namaz-e-Janaza in absentia for OBL, cried for him and at the same time they praised S.A. regime as well and at the end of it they wall chalked praises for OBL and SA regime. It is the peak of hypocrisy or they don't know the fact that OBL and the regime were against each other.
Gogi Smart
May 13, 2011 10:31pm
This is funny :)
Abbas from the US
May 13, 2011 10:46pm
Amazing ability to tell the truth enconsed in humor. Hats off to you Paracha.
raj kohli
May 13, 2011 10:48pm
Hilarious stuff. Bro write something about India as well. Indian situation is no better. Surely our politicians give more chance of causing humor though unintentionally.
Khaqsar
May 13, 2011 11:05pm
A fantastic satire
siva
May 13, 2011 11:19pm
Mr. Paracha, you are a blessing to pakistan.
Raj
May 13, 2011 11:31pm
This is a classic...onto a bookmark on my browser! Havent seen truth spoken with such satire for a long time. Good job NFP!
Muhammad Bilal Ramza
May 13, 2011 11:34pm
i have been all praises for NFPs satire but this one was way off track!! He should have put more thought to it or maybe ask himself of his own identity. These are sadly serious times!!
SP
May 13, 2011 11:34pm
Wonderful. Loved to read this.
Kami
May 13, 2011 11:50pm
Nadeem its not that funny, pointing out mistakes is one thing and deliberately building a false image through such blogs is totally another...quite unethical i must say
Ahsan Khan
May 14, 2011 12:02am
I see lots of Indians praising this article, Unfortunately Pakistani's don't like that. I personally think that we have to learn to laugh at ourselves before we can start to correct and improve ourselves. This is a beautifully put together satire on terrorism.
Aisha
May 14, 2011 12:18am
Very poor concept and writing. Not impressive at all. Too many loopholes and stupid innuendos.
Ghazanafar
May 14, 2011 12:29am
Awesome !!! :)
FaZ
May 14, 2011 12:37am
come on.. tht obvious? Your better than that.. (I hope)..
Neeta
May 14, 2011 12:59am
Nadeem, you could be a very good script writer for Bollywood or Hollywood!
Raghav
May 14, 2011 01:09am
Good one :)
MUSTAFA KAMAL PASHA
May 14, 2011 01:28am
loved this one! super!
Junaid
May 14, 2011 01:45am
superb, pleased to read, excellent writing NFP
Imad Brohi
May 14, 2011 01:51am
Maayyynnn, that was a good one.
Ahmed Saeed
May 14, 2011 01:57am
Its good. At least you have been able to find the real reasons.
ahmad
May 14, 2011 02:06am
hahaha finally something to laugh about i loved reading it ... have some sense of humor people
Osman
May 14, 2011 02:24am
Spot on!
Razzaq
May 14, 2011 02:44am
Well done NFP. Right on spot.Keep going as your write ups are tonic to many sane people.
Raja
May 14, 2011 03:01am
Very funny!
waqas
May 14, 2011 03:08am
well how come its not a headline and has been notified through a blog!!
familydoc
May 14, 2011 03:11am
Good piece of 'realistic humour', keep it up.
Simply just HILARIOU
May 14, 2011 03:37am
NFP, I always make it a point to read your blogging, it great really.
jordan
May 14, 2011 03:48am
yawned several times going through this rubish!
Shahzad Ahmad Raja
May 14, 2011 04:15am
fantastic: you have depicted artistically the current situation of Pakistani civil-military bureaucracy and politicians. Our true face; hypocrite.
RT
May 14, 2011 04:25am
The best piece of Satire by NFP to date. A collectors' item. Too good. Shows the true picture of so called Messiahs of Islam.
pka
May 14, 2011 04:42am
Just great and beautifully written. Hope makes some impact on some of our misguided souls.
AllZeeZ
May 14, 2011 05:37am
You are OUT OF YOUR MIND Mr. Paracha if you HONESTLY think that Imran Khan would behave in SUCH A MANNER or that Mullah Omar is considered a FREEDOM FIGHTER by him. Your generalisations, though make interesting articles I give you that, can be so very bizarre my friend.
Irshad
May 14, 2011 05:50am
Excellent.An effort to unearth the TRUTH from underneath of the big lies and hipocracies
Vishal
May 14, 2011 06:03am
I seriously like DAWN portal because of the articles like these...Forget about out the negative aura, (much of which has to do with the prevailing current affairs) I really DAWN to have a level of intellectual reasoning that is much above the retarded news articles and stories served by portals like Times of India and Indian Express.
sameer
May 14, 2011 06:04am
NFP is very good at making his own assumption and most of the time these assumption are invalid. Let me put this way If American conduct negotiation with Taliban, it is all fine, but when Saudi or Pak Govt do it, then NFP would probably be saying why are we negotiating with Taliban since they are extremist and they have been destroying Pakistan since 1947
ATUL SUBODH
May 14, 2011 06:08am
Mr. Paracha lately I am regular to your articles. You are making some serious points with humor. If people do not understand it, may be it is their bad luck. I would say you love your country more than Mr. Imran Khan. Keep doing it.
Hasan
May 14, 2011 07:44am
Great article Nadeem. Hilarious!
Amima Sayeed
May 14, 2011 08:43am
This is too good - brilliant use of stereotypes and cliches to portray the levels & depth of hypocrisy. I can actually visualize the media person in Bedouin tent and National Anthem recited in Arabic.
Yousuf Siddiqui, Ph.
May 14, 2011 08:46am
A very good satire depicting the Intelligent Agencies of Muslim counries
A Kaafir
May 14, 2011 08:51am
Trouble with Nadeem rubs salt on the wound & most people dont even realize where the wound is. So, that makes it much more painful.
bido
May 14, 2011 08:53am
Nadeem .This article of yours will be hard to swallow for many people.
MAA
May 14, 2011 09:10am
well done, very good comparison and very good analysis of reality.
Asad
May 14, 2011 09:31am
pretty funny...and i bet if this scenario were to play out the reaction of the government, political parties, and public is pretty well captured by this article :)
Omar Yousaf
May 14, 2011 10:07am
says a lot to think about but only between the lines... brilliant...! dude i seriously wish i had your mind...
Y!
May 14, 2011 10:09am
Superlike!! Great Satire..
mahesh
May 14, 2011 10:09am
good one Nadeem!!
Siraj
May 14, 2011 10:18am
Wonderful article
Khajuria Ranjit
May 14, 2011 10:21am
wndrfl and courageou satire, keep it up Nadeem...
yup
May 14, 2011 10:24am
yup, i agree
Akram
May 14, 2011 10:28am
What is the point, he has tried to portray? a directionless effort
KK
May 14, 2011 10:28am
Interesting beginning......felt like a drag somewhere in the middle though.
TMQ
May 14, 2011 10:39am
Great. keep it up. Your recent piece of writing is more reflective of our social fabric.
Cijo
May 14, 2011 10:40am
OMG!!!! This is the best. So funny but true. Keep going..
A ALI
May 14, 2011 10:44am
PREPOSTEROUS!!!!!!!
Iftikhar-ur-Rehman
May 14, 2011 11:12am
Very Interesting
Naveed
May 14, 2011 11:22am
I agree!
Abhishek
May 14, 2011 11:36am
Paracha Sahab, not bad ...to have such level of sattire....
mahmood
May 14, 2011 11:41am
Excellent article! A true glimpse of our mentality.
Sonny
May 14, 2011 11:47am
Excellent article and how very true.
Snowball
May 14, 2011 11:52am
Great work, keep snowballing.
Maaz Pasha
May 14, 2011 11:54am
Amazing, In the beginning I thought Its real.Paracha sahb always writes reality. I think someone should make a little comedy film on it.
Fahim
May 14, 2011 11:56am
That is bitter reality of this country
Asad
May 14, 2011 11:57am
I have never laughed so hard on any of Paracha's articles. Best of all....No doubt
ashish
May 14, 2011 11:59am
Hilarious!! I only wish more Pakis had a more evolved sense of humor!
Ghazla akbar
May 14, 2011 12:07pm
Love it! Things are so tragic we need a good laugh!
Bharat
May 14, 2011 12:52pm
This is the best piece of satire I've read in years.Mr Paracha,you made me laugh laugh laugh.......till my stomach started aching. Wonderful.
ArifQ
May 14, 2011 12:59pm
Awesome, another NFP masterpiece. Jokes aside, we the people of Pakistan need to wake up and smell the coffee, we are running the risk of becoming another North Korea, completely isolated and irrelevant.
Nabeel Alvi
May 14, 2011 02:06pm
Super job Nadeem bhai
Ismail Nami
May 14, 2011 02:10pm
One of the worst columns i have ever read... A pure waste of time!!
MAAZ SHAHID
May 14, 2011 02:54pm
An awsome article...... it made me laugh again and again...what a piece of comic with serious cultural/mindset issues embedded in the article. Mr paracha ..well done
arabi
May 14, 2011 03:15pm
Awsome piece...one of the best
Us.
May 14, 2011 03:17pm
Lame....
baseer
May 14, 2011 03:21pm
really love this piece of reality about our nation.
Faisy
May 14, 2011 03:24pm
Such a nice article
murassa sanaullah
May 14, 2011 05:35pm
a very good sattire pakistanis think saudi monarchy is islamic and true form of democracy, .
Ice
May 14, 2011 05:58pm
Mr. Singh, you do not have the write to stop anyone from reading this blog. and everyone is free to express his like or dislike. Although i disagree with Khan but he has full right to express his feelings. I myself is fad up of same thing from NFP time and again.
Musthaq Ahmed
May 14, 2011 06:29pm
We read Nadeem Paracha for instruction and not for entertainment. I wish we had one in India.
Umair
May 14, 2011 06:30pm
Amazing piece and i still can't stop laughing.
Zeeshan
May 14, 2011 07:36pm
... and then they say that they do not have freedom of speech in Pakistan...
Inayat
May 14, 2011 08:24pm
In very bad taste. Dawn should not patronise such nonsense.
arjun
May 14, 2011 08:39pm
yo man!...............you are not only brilliant but fearless also...........i am becoming your fan.
Omar Iftikhar
May 14, 2011 10:13pm
An excellent piece indeed! I couldn't stop laughing as I read through your amazing satirical piece! Great work!
Haq
May 14, 2011 10:15pm
Mr. Paracha. I thank you for writing this!
JF
May 14, 2011 11:20pm
Great piece. Several layers of satire here, and very thought provoking. It's gratifying to see a number of supportive comments from your compatriots as well.
SJ
May 14, 2011 11:28pm
Boring..
Zuhaib Zaman Khuhro
May 14, 2011 11:38pm
Hahaha....Hillarious..NFP u r the master of satire..... Love you :)
Indiangirl
May 15, 2011 12:25am
This is the one of the funniest things I ever read in my life.....
Hussein
May 15, 2011 12:42am
Not at all over the top, I couldn't stop laughing.
Anil
May 15, 2011 01:52am
Excellently summarized!!
Anil
May 15, 2011 01:55am
We should make movie on this script!!
mt
May 15, 2011 02:08am
sweet !!!
Dr shafik
May 15, 2011 03:02am
great ,and super
mehmoona
May 15, 2011 03:37am
hilarious so true of our double standards !
Khalid Kamal
May 15, 2011 06:51am
Fresh Air indeed. This type of subtle approach is required to trigger a positive mindset amongst full charged and alienated masses. GOOD JOB NFP>
sofia
May 15, 2011 07:41am
thanks for the laugh. this was too funny!
Sameer
May 15, 2011 11:58am
Unbelievable! Hats off NFP - the Greatest Hits Tour Continues . . . .
arsalan
May 15, 2011 01:21pm
wats the point in dragging saudia arabia in to it! Writing skills, imagination, satire must hv been great ....... But puttin saudi arabaia in to it ...isnt making sense at all....
Asif
May 15, 2011 01:49pm
A very well written article. Really enjoyed alot.
abhishek
May 15, 2011 06:01pm
NFP...another great piece..keep up the great work u do.thanks
Riaz Khan
May 15, 2011 06:34pm
A very naughty article....!! lolx..
Muqadam Ali
May 15, 2011 06:50pm
Very well done. Good job
Jango
May 15, 2011 06:53pm
This one is going viral
S
May 15, 2011 07:10pm
Interesting insight into some common psyche
SF
May 15, 2011 08:09pm
Article is full of Non sense. Completely l tasteless humor.
Goga Nalaik
May 15, 2011 08:22pm
Excellent (as usual)! :) Your fan
EthicalDemocracy
May 15, 2011 08:38pm
This is soooooo funny and clever and witty and sharp. So long as people like Paracha can be heard in Pakistan, that's good news for the Pakistani PEOPLE , for ALL PEOPLES of South Asia. Thanks Nadeem for being so funny and so sharp at the same time.
Hemant
May 15, 2011 11:23pm
Excellent. Birbal could not have done better :-)
Aamer
May 16, 2011 02:07am
I dont know if our political parties will embrace Saudi action or not, but i for one won't.
Rajiv Tyagi, India
May 16, 2011 08:24am
Waah Paracha Sahib! You're a genius at satire... I laughed till my guts ached... :D But on a serious note, your piece must've touched some raw nerves too... I hope people in power will hear the plea for sanity, in your satire...
Shujaat Ayub Khan
May 16, 2011 09:39am
Thanks Nadeem and keep up the good work.
Fahad
May 16, 2011 02:46pm
I totally agree....
Jamil
May 16, 2011 06:02pm
Keep it up. Good article.
uday
May 17, 2011 02:06am
Fantastic - the humour is terrific - what a little democracy however imperfect does ... congrats Paracha
jp
May 17, 2011 09:48am
What an absolutely funny report. I was fooled for the first 2 paragraphs and wondered why it wasn't in the western press stories. Then, as I read more, I realized that a very clever writer had spoofed the entire political scene in Pakistan.
AAR
May 17, 2011 11:19am
why can't media play their role in developing the positive mindset in the nation rather than depressing one like this.
Ather
May 17, 2011 05:30pm
Its called freedom of thoughts dude.
hicham
May 17, 2011 08:34pm
osama died i think more then 3 or 4 years ago was osama death by a kidney cancer or some thing its al know Americans never found osama they never shot osama its only Hollywood fanta osama.
shahid
May 19, 2011 12:40am
nonsense..waste of time..
Anand
May 19, 2011 03:24am
Dang, that Zohair Toru reference was hilarious- despite the fact I had no clue who he was prior to your blog, NFP. Ahhh...such a naive revolutionary to compare Imran Khan to Che Guevara, and boy did Nusrat Javed put the kibosh on him, albeit politely. All he needs to join/organize a candle-light vigil and he should be eligible for the "Sonam Kapoor Revolutionary Award."
Anand
May 19, 2011 03:33am
Now that's a food for thought :).
singhrex
May 19, 2011 12:10pm
However, they were soon deported by the Saudi regime for violating Saudi sovereignty.....great
Bazgha
May 20, 2011 03:25pm
Well written!
Ali
May 21, 2011 12:14pm
Ha ha ...; I wish it is read by someone in ISPR !!
SK
May 22, 2011 07:16pm
The society is so polarised. Its time to reflect: The majority of the minority that can read this cant stop laughing...the rest are angered and for them its yet another blow.
shahid
May 24, 2011 04:49pm
P.S. He was killed yesterday
SB
May 24, 2011 05:46pm
I agree to disagree..
Paro
May 25, 2011 05:23am
This made me implode with laughter. I can read it over and over. We need more such satire. Without doubt the best way to get the sting across. Thanks!
Usman
May 25, 2011 07:11pm
that's impossible , we save this man for long term polices .but this news is amazing.
osman narejo
May 26, 2011 02:35pm
...........nfp, remarkable satire against the state of denial, duplicity and mendacity going on in the country, while our country is literally burning!
osman narejo
May 26, 2011 02:54pm
...........paracha here rips apart the medieval mindset and values being used to address the problems of modern pakistan!
Sajad Baig
May 26, 2011 04:52pm
Absolute humour. Best I have read in a while.
Zohaib Hassan
May 27, 2011 01:03pm
Simply amazing!
Tahir Rizvi
May 27, 2011 09:25pm
I would hope that Mullah Omar is apprehended and arrested by Pakistani intelligence. Pakistani people and economy have suffered enough due to Talibans. Enough Pakistani blood has been spilled by the actions of Talibans and their terrorism in Pakistan.