Dear Auntie,
I am a teenage girl and being bullied by her classmates. I am constantly struggling and I don’t have anyone to share my feelings with. I haven’t told my family about this because I don’t want to upset them .This mental stress is also affecting my health to some extent. Please give me some advice so I know how to tackle the situation 
Helpless

Dear Repel-the-Bullies,
Even though you find it difficult to talk to your family about this, you must tell someone about your situation, especially an adult. Do you have a school counsellor or a teacher you can trust? Tell them about what you are experiencing and seek advice on how to handle the situation. An adult, such as a school counsellor should be able to support you by intervening in the situation and holding the bullies accountable.

Also you need to look within and figure out why you are being bullied. Is it because you look different? Or because you are a good student? Or because you look ‘weak’? Be honest about why you think you are being bullied. It’ll help you tackle the problem. The unfortunate fact is that bullies often pick on people who are different or weak in some way. A lot of people who are bullied tend to avoid conflict. If you avoid fights, you should at least start defending yourself against bullies and stop being a doormat. Once you hit back you will surprise the bully and sometimes that’s enough to hinder them. When you exude a sense of confidence, you automatically repel predators.

‘I am being bullied at school’

Next, you need to work on your fears and weaknesses. Think about your fears. You could even journal about them. This will help you start thinking of strategies to overcome them.

Another way to ward off your tormentors is to consider becoming physically stronger. Start working out if you don’t already. It will help you build a healthier body and it should also help you become mentally stronger and more confident. One way of working on your physique is to get into martial arts or some other kind of self-defence training. This will really boost your self-confidence and also help you exude a sense of calm that should repel bullies.
  Hi Auntie!
I am curious to know whether you found long-lasting happiness.
Wondering

Dear Wonder-No-More,
Has anyone found long-lasting happiness? What does happiness mean to you? Is it having all your wishes fulfilled overnight? For many people, the moment they get something they have been striving for — the partner, the job, the handbag, the grades — their contentment level drops dramatically and they are on to chasing the next big thing. While the constant ‘big chase’ for something is necessary to give us some direction in life, if taken too far, it can also become a way to feel constant discontent with what you have.

While I cannot speak for everyone, personally I believe happiness is not something you find, get or receive. It is a choice. It is waking up every day deciding you want to be happy, regardless of what life throws at you. This works for me. You may have to figure out what happiness is for you.

Even though I have a (long) wish list of yummy goodies that I wish to receive, I also realise that personally my happiness lies in being able to help and serve others. Whenever I am able to help, I come away feeling a whole lot of peace, contentment and, I guess, happiness too — way more than when a fancy bag I have had my eyes on arrives. What is happiness for you? I would love to hear.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, October 21st, 2018