Use if-then thinking to change behaviour

We all have habits and behaviours we wish we could change. But just being aware of a bad habit isn’t enough. To truly fix it, start by considering your goal (say, “I want my team to know that I trust them”) and the obstacles you expect to face along the way (“I struggle to delegate”). Next, frame what you will do about the obstacles as if-then statements. To address the delegation obstacle, for example, you could tell yourself: “If I start to feel uncomfortable about not completing the work myself, then I’ll ask for updates on it in our next team meeting.” Eventually the link between the cue (“if”) and the action (“then”) will become strong enough to help you change how you react.

To motivate, offer a change of scenery

The midcareer crisis is a real phenomenon. Research has shown that people’s satisfaction bottoms out when they’re in the middle of their careers. As a manager, you don’t want to lose these valuable employees just because they fall into a slump. To keep them engaged, consider offering a change of scenery through remote work or even relocation. Remote work can let them change their personal lives without hurting their professional progress. Relocation to a different office could make sense for both the company and the employee if that office needs the employee’s skills. Of course, relocation is a big life change for the employee, so the company should be ready to assist with the move.

(Adapted from “Many Employees Have a Midcareer Crisis. Here’s How Employers Can Help,” by Serenity Gibbons.)

Encourage and reward collaboration

There are a lot of reasons why someone might refuse help from a colleague. Some employees prefer to be self-reliant, others don’t want to feel obligated to return the favour, and still others don’t trust their co-workers’ motives. But these attitudes can increase employees’ risk of burnout and hinder social connections at work. As a manager, you can encourage and recognise collaborative efforts by calling attention to them and explaining how they contribute to the organisation’s goals and mission. Be sure to demonstrate your willingness to accept help when you need it; employees are more likely to do it if they see their leaders doing it. And be careful not to send mixed messages: If employees who go it alone advance more quickly than those who give and receive support, people will pick up on that discrepancy — and they’ll go back to looking out for No. 1.

(Adapted from “Why We Don’t Let Co-Workers Help Us, Even When We Need It,” by Mark C. Bolino and Phillip S. Thompson.)

Show compassion when an employee cries

Managers often feel uncomfortable when an employee cries. It may be tempting to press on with the conversation as if nothing is happening, but a better response is to demonstrate compassion. The tears don’t mean the person is an emotional wreck or having a breakdown; they’re just the way their body is reacting to pressure. You might say, “Let’s take a quick break, and then we’ll figure things out.” You can suggest the employee take a short walk or get a coffee, or if the meeting is in your office, you can leave for a few minutes to let the person calm down. Don’t offer pity or try to fix the situation; say something simple like, “I’m sorry that upset you.” And resist getting upset yourself, even if you’re frustrated.

(Adapted from “How to Manage an Employee Who Cries Easily,” by Liz Kislik.)

For distractions, retrain your brain to focus

Focusing is hard — and blaming that on the constant distractions around us is easy. But trying to get rid of distractions isn’t enough to fix the problem. We also have to retrain our brains to concentrate. To help your brain relearn to focus, try “single-tasking”: Open only one window on your computer screen, or give your full attention to a single task at a time. Also, practice noticing when your attention veers off course and then gently guiding it back to what you’re doing. If you think of something important while you’re doing focused work, jot it down on a notepad and come back to it later. Practicing attention management like this will build your “attention muscle,” which will give you greater control over distractions.

(Adapted from “To Control Your Life, Control What You Pay Attention To,” by Maura Thomas.)

Published in Dawn, The Business and Finance Weekly, July 16th, 2018