Today is Mother’s Day and we cannot help but reminisce about all the memories we have with dearest mommy. For the lucky ones, Mom is there to share the secret of our first crush, comfort us when there is a break-up or divorce, pamper us when we are down and dejected, maybe even cook our favourite weight-loss dish to make our day.

We turn to our mothers or those strong women who become ‘mother figures’ in our lives for comfort, unconditional love and care, yes, but we may not always be in need of ‘motherly’ advice.

Nevertheless, there comes a point in life when we cede — as much as we may loathe to — that Mom is not only the caregiver but the Oracle herself. Like it or not, we know she was right every time, right about the many big and small decisions we took in our lives.

Mom may have been right all the while but did we ever believed so

An indirect warning, sit-down advice, or words that are like a cold shower we weren’t ready for after stubbornly spending the whole day in our jimmy jams (read depressive state).

We may have hated her predictions, but much to our surprise, they did come true. “I told you so” may be the most oft-repeated words we hear from her but we can’t deny that in the end “mom knows best.”

Today, we might want to pay a reluctant tribute to the things Mom said which in hindsight were so right!

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH

We always thought mom was cynical. She is old and hence not optimistic, also has preconceived notions about everything. Remember the time when you were so excited about going out to this dinner and mom knew who was inviting you so she said, she could take you out instead for Japanese and you argued why go with her when you could go with the girlfriend inviting you and later you realised that there was a catch that you hadn’t guessed. The friend who invited you really wanted your dad’s architect friend to get her no-good cousin a job in his firm. Mom was right.

NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS AFTER MIDNIGHT

Curfew timings were the most annoying restriction, because we thought that what can go wrong in the dark can go wrong in daylight too. We thought all our friends are having fun, why not us and soon after we heard from them how much fun they had, we claimed mothers were neurotics and get panic attacks after midnight for no reason. Later we realised that hangovers, criminal attacks, mugging, mobile snatchings and mistakes happen far more when there is not much else happening on the streets. Mom was right.

LOOKS AREN’T EVERYTHING

Remember when we were obsessing over pimples and rubbing tomatoes on our face to remove the tan after a beach outing and she got ticked off when she found out that she had none left to make karrahi chicken? Remember the lectures she gave us about not going nuts over goodlooking guys and that the ones who actually did something worthy would make better husbands? No matter how many times our moms warned us about looks being skin deep, we groaned and grunted. Later we found out through the hard way that the long-haired, guitar-strumming Ali Azmat from high school was still doing the same, while the nerd from high school went on to become a chartered accountant who brings home a cheque every month.

BE A GOOD PERSON AND YOU WILL GO FURTHER

Being mean, self-centred, irrational and rebellious was considered so cool in our younger days. But as we grow older, we realise that all of mom’s advice about how being a good person can lead to success is actually the truth and cannot be ignored. As adults, we recall the days when we were trying to be cool, and that coolness only led to wrong decisions ahead and those friendships we lost because of all the puns and jokes we thought made us the heroes/heroines of the scene, were flimsy to begin with. Not losing our cool is is cool. Just stick to your values and you will get where you want to be. Lying, cheating and being dishonest will only take you so far. The consequences of doing wrong are never worth it.

THE TRUTH WILL UNVEIL ITSELF

The harsh reality is that the truth cannot be hidden for long. All the lies told just to make us stand out or to cover up for our mistakes will keep growing into one big fat lie but, in the end, the truth is the solution. There have been days when we have lied just for to appear as someone better, but our mothers warned us about the outcomes and even today we regret not following what she said even when it came to lying about things to impress others. The effort made at creating wonderful lies is useless compared to the simplicity of the truth.

YOUR HEALTH COMES FIRST

We turned home late at night and were received by a panicked mother yelling at us not only about the sinister dangers lurking outside, but our totally unhealthy sleep patterns. Years later we figured what she had really meant. Now as adults when we look at ourselves wondering how to get rid of those bags under our eyes, and start bingeing on veggies, we realise we should have eaten them all along instead of living on pizza. We realise that we were not only getting instructions by our moms to be a better version of who we are now but also our appearance. Which means that those greens that we gawked at were only meant to keep us fit and healthy. No wonder the world is obsessing over kale and arugula!

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT

Waiting for things was never an option when we were younger. We thought that the better outcome would be to take quick decisions and get over with it. Our moms guided us all along but we chose to ignore them. Instead of listening to them, we made hasty and wrong decisions, though we were warned that good things come to those who wait for them.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

It took many years of impatience, tantrums and rebellion to realise that patience is not something we are born with. Our mothers always had patience when it came to handling their children along with the household, making them ‘Super Women’. Regardless of what the situation may be we will always get to hear from moms that “The reward for having patience is like a sweet fruit.”

LEARN TO FORGIVE AND FORGET

There’s nothing more exhausting and painful than holding on to a grudge. As adults we have learnt to forgive and forget. When younger, we were taught to forget about and forgive those who had done wrong to us. Better to forgive, let go of the baggage and feel lighter instead of getting a peptic ulcer and/or a heart attack with all the acidic grudges.

MANNERS GO A LONG WAY

No matter if we are wearing Sana Maskatiya and running around in Manolos with a Prada bag slung across our arm, if we are not humble enough to say a genuine ‘thank you’ to someone, or a sincere ‘sorry’ for something wrong that we have done, forget it. People are always going to remember us as ill-mannered, not well-dressed. Don’t pile your plate with food, don’t talk while chewing and never leave the room without deodorant! That’s what mom said and without any of this, our carefully-created look would crash in no time.

Published in Dawn, EOS, May 13th, 2018