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After Raees, Mahira Khan is dreaming again

Raees is a dream come true for Mahira Khan. So what's next on her agenda?
Updated 23 Jan, 2017

Her first ever interview appeared in Dawn’s Images almost exactly ten years ago. She was then a VJ for MTV Pakistan with stars in her eyes.

Not much has changed for Mahira Khan.

She is still the lithe, waif-like girl with the easy megawatt smile whose eyes grow big when she is excited. She still seems unsure of herself and second-guesses herself constantly. She still makes wishes when she passes through tunnels, believing that tunnels have the power to make her wishes come true. For all her exposure since and despite now being a mother to a seven-year-old, you can tell that she is still inherently shy.

Three days from today, she’s about to make her Bollywood debut, opposite possibly the biggest star of the subcontinent.

Everything has changed for Mahira Khan.

***

We meet at an upmarket restaurant for lunch that we selected assuming it would be mostly empty. But the moment she walks in she runs into her former school principal and some of her former teachers. Later they — and at least four other groups of people — come over to get ‘selfies’ with Mahira. She cannot refuse, she never once lets on that she’s probably a bit tired of the routine. They cannot believe their luck. Thankfully the interruptions don’t last very long. Even more thankfully, Mahira is a rebel against time management. She has another appointment lined up later but she’s happy to just talk and go with the flow.

Mahira Khan once dreamed of being a movie star. With her film Raees opposite Shah Rukh Khan releasing in three days, what does she dream about now?

I begin by asking her if she feels disappointed about Raees likely not releasing in Pakistan.

“Of course,” she shoots back. “I want my country to see this. I want everybody to see it, every person in the world. My friends keep saying you did it, it’s enough, you can just keep it in a box somewhere…I do that, but there’s a part of me that says, no, I want everybody to see my blood sweat and tears for these two years, because it’s been tough and I want people to see it even if I fail at it. But if it’s one thing I’ve learnt over these two years it’s that there are somethings beyond one’s control. I mean you can save a scene, you can fix things later in film but there are somethings that are out of your reach. You just can’t do anything. But I’m dying for it to come here.”

Also read: Mahira Khan just shut down a hater mocking her for working in India

Photography: Umair bin Nisar | Hair, make-up & styling: Umayr Waqar | Co-ordination: Madeeha Syed
Photography: Umair bin Nisar | Hair, make-up & styling: Umayr Waqar | Co-ordination: Madeeha Syed

With the eruption of tensions between Pakistan and India, Mahira — and fellow actors such as Fawad Khan and Ali Zafar who were forced to abandon future projects in India — suddenly fell quiet, perhaps understandably. I wonder what she really felt then. “It was painful,” is the only thing she will still venture. “When the film comes out, I will tell you.”

But she waxes eloquent about the friendships she made across the border.

“I was coming here and the new song was out and we have a group of friends [from the film crew] who send messages whenever something happens and everyone was sending messages and I had tears rolling down in the car. Again. For the tenth time! And my hairstylist sent me a message saying ‘I think we should always say goodbye with tears because we always meet again when we do that.’ I don’t want to romanticise things but by the end of the two years we had people crying saying goodbye. And I am so indebted to all of them, especially my director Rahul Dholakia and the producer Ritesh Sidhwani, who have stood by me all through these two years, even at the worst of times.”

“With this ban, it’s unfortunate. Six months ago, I was getting a new script every day. Cut to six months later and producers are saying there’s no scope, let’s go back to dramas.”

She’s acutely aware, however, of how the tensions have badly affected Pakistan’s fledgling film industry.

“With this ban, it’s unfortunate. Six months ago, I was getting a new script every day. Two a week tau kahien nahin gaya. Cut to six months later and producers are saying there’s no scope, let’s go back to dramas. I dream of an up and running industry, with all its mess and its camps and all that comes along with a big industry, I want to see that happen.”

Photography: Umair bin Nisar | Hair, make-up & styling: Umayr Waqar | Co-ordination: Madeeha Syed
Photography: Umair bin Nisar | Hair, make-up & styling: Umayr Waqar | Co-ordination: Madeeha Syed

I remind her that she’d once told me about her disappointment at never having received an ‘Introducing Mahira Khan’ opening credit in Bol.

“I craved ‘Introducing Mahira Khan’ since I was a child. I told Shoaib [Mansoor, the director of Bol] sahib this too, ‘Yahaan bhi nahin hua, wahaan bhi pata nahin kya hoga, ab mein karoon kya!’ [It didn’t happen here, who knows what will happen there, what should I do!] He said ‘Perhaps in Hollywood.’ Such is life.”

Nobody sitting outside would ever think of you this way, I tell her. They’d be thinking ‘she’s so famous, she leads such a charmed life’ and here you are crying over an introduction credit.

“Exactly!” she laughs. “That’s what my mother also says! And my friends! But I can’t just move on. It’s my work. Yes I’m grateful, but it’s something I have worked for! Why shouldn’t I feel it? Just because I’m an actor? Just because it’s a film? Just because it seems like fluff? I also want to promote the film. I also want to be in an interview with Shah Rukh Khan talking about it. Why not? Why is it I get told that that’s asking for too much? It isn’t! It is my right. This was also my film.”

“When I wrapped up Raees I came to Shoaib sahib’s set. From that big a crew, of almost 200 people, to that small a crew. Here there were just seven people running a show and him, who’s a one-man army. And Shoaib sahib said to me, ‘Look, it’ll pinch you.’ And yes it did, the first two days.”

I ask the inevitable question: so what was it like working with Shah Rukh Khan? She tries to deflect. “Ask me something else, I have talked about it so much I’ll say the same things.”

Read more: Could Mahira Khan and SRK's Twitter friendship get any better?

So I ask her about his quirks. “He is magic really, honestly. He spoilt me for life. He used to tell me to do things this way, do it that way. At one point I asked him, am I not doing it right? He said ‘Look I am only telling you what I know, from my experience. You do it your way but all I want is when you see yourself on screen you don’t come to me and say, why didn’t you tell me!’ Other than that, he’s so bloody smart. There’s nothing you can’t talk to him about.”

Read on: Mahira Khan and Shah Rukh Khan share steamy chemistry in Udi Udi Jaye

I sense she can go on and on about Shah Rukh. “We’ve had amazing conversations. It’s so much fun to talk to someone who’s intelligent. It’s not just about films, he can talk about anything! He was watching [Netflix TV series] Narcos while we were shooting, he can talk about books and history… Of course I’ve always been a fan. But if you watch his interviews, you can tell he’s witty, smart. It was a pleasure working with someone you can have a conversation with. I think he’s hilarious, sometimes at my expense… [laughs]” I ask her what she means but she tells me I can’t write about it.

Photography: Umair bin Nisar | Hair, make-up & styling: Umayr Waqar | Co-ordination: Madeeha Syed
Photography: Umair bin Nisar | Hair, make-up & styling: Umayr Waqar | Co-ordination: Madeeha Syed

Mahira is now working on Shoaib Mansoor’s next film Verna but when I ask her what she can tell me about it, she laughs. “Everything but what it’s about! But guess what, this is probably the first time he gave someone the full script!”

And she laughs again. “The film was a bit tough for me to choose because I had all these big commercial films being offered to me and I wanted to do something fun and light. And I don’t know why, but when Shoaib sahib wrote to me, I just decided I wanted to say these dialogues, for my voice to echo these lines. There was just something about them.

"What I didn’t know was what I was headed to. So when I wrapped up Raees I came to Shoaib sahib's set. From that big a crew, of almost 200 people, to that small a crew. Here there were just seven people running a show and him, who’s a one-man army. And Shoaib sahib said to me, ‘Look, it’ll pinch you.’ The first two days he kept telling me, ‘It’s pinching you, isn’t it?’ And yes it was, the first two days. And the third day I was thinking, why am I happy here? And I realized that I like what I do. Everything around it doesn’t matter, what matters is what you’re doing. Honestly it’s like coming full circle.”

A seven person crew is incredibly small, even by Pakistan standards I put to her.

“That’s just the way he works, he likes taking new people, he enjoys their enthusiasm. This is a story about two or three principal characters, maximum four. He told me ‘This is how I like to work, you tell me what we can do to make this better.’ So we’ve done that.

"He’s given me the responsibility of rehearsing with the actors, and sometimes he tells me, ‘You’re handling them, na? because I’m going to do this.’ And we’re working in tandem. After Raees I used to wonder how I’d feel working on another film and to do this and still enjoy it — I know now I like acting, I enjoy it.”

"I do feel my job is a unique one. You have to bare your soul, give in to a character, whatever it is. So today your character might be happy because she’s so in love. And you might be going through the exact opposite. You’re surrendering to a feeling that doesn’t exist right now in your headspace, your soul, your heart. But you have to do it."

But she’s also circumspect about the act of acting.

“I’ve always been sensitive and over-emotional. And things get to me way more. I’ve never allowed myself to become cold. So I’d rather go through the pain of feeling something fully than to become cold, which may be difficult but I’ve never allowed that to happen. Or maybe my job has never allowed that to happen.”

She changes gears. “Look, everyone goes through things, everyone has a story. That’s why strangers are so interesting. I don’t find a single human being boring, man. So it’s not about me as an isolated case, but I do feel my job is a unique one. That changes a lot of stuff. You’re going through whatever you’re going through at home and then you have to get up and go to work. And what is your work? You have to bare your soul, give in to a character, whatever it is. So today your character might be happy because she’s so in love. And you might be going through the exact opposite. You’re surrendering to a feeling that doesn’t exist right now in your headspace, your soul, your heart. But you have to do it.”

Photography: Umair bin Nisar | Hair, make-up & styling: Umayr Waqar | Co-ordination: Madeeha Syed
Photography: Umair bin Nisar | Hair, make-up & styling: Umayr Waqar | Co-ordination: Madeeha Syed

I read her a few lines from her first interview ten years ago. She had been asked about her strengths as a VJ. And she had replied: ‘I don’t know about that but I could tell you about my weakness. The biggest being that I can’t lie on television, I can lie about little things and make up a story but I am a bad actress.’ She gives her megawatt smile. I ask her if she still feels that.

“I am bad actress when it comes to real life,” she says with emphasis. “I can’t do it, I can’t hack it. In fact, I hate the fact that I am not trained because then I’d be pulling things out of my…you know? To get into the zone, mein apnay oopar taari karti hoon [I immerse myself], I take time to believe it is me. And once I get there, I do it the best I possibly can and as honestly as I possibly can. That’s why I’m the actor who needs glycerine. I find it very strange when actors cry on demand.

"And yet, we just shot a scene with Shoaib sahib and he played the music of the film and I couldn’t control myself. It’s a new crew so they always clap at the end of the scene, it’s great for my ego [laughs]. And Shoaib sahib said, ‘Yeh sachai kissi aur cheez se nahin aati [this truthfulness doesn’t come from anything else].’ I told him, ‘You’re right, but yeh sachai baar baar nahin aati [this truthfulness doesn’t come again and again].’ But that is later. This girl,” she says pointing at the quote I was reading from, “10 years ago, she’s right!”

"Would I be who I am without a Khirad in Humsafar? Maybe not. I think every few decades the audience laps up somebody and makes them into a star. That’s all that happens. To analyse it is, I feel, a waste of time."

I read her another bit from that decade-old interview. At the end of it, Mahira had, suddenly, admitted that she dreamt of becoming a movie star. ‘I always wanted to be a movie star,’ she’d said, ‘I knew then and I know now that I couldn’t be at the time and I didn’t know what it takes to be a star but I still love to dream about it.’

I ask her if she sees a difference between being a star and an actor? She is dismissive of the question. “This whole star versus actor debate I find very silly. It’s also the roles that you do, and that is not in your control. Brando I think said this: ‘You’re as good as the role that you choose.’ That’s about it. Would I be who I am without a Khirad in Humsafar? Maybe not. I think every few decades the audience laps up somebody and makes them into a star. That’s all that happens. To analyse it is, I feel, a waste of time.” But then she adds: “My understanding is the day I start looking at myself as a star is the day I will die as an actor.”

But what does she dream about now that she’s hit the pinnacle of stardom, I ask her.

“I need to start dreaming again,” she says with her eyes brightening. “This was the dream. I prayed for it in every namaaz of mine. In every under the tunnel wish. But yeah, however small, I need to dream again.”

Those are not stars in Mahira Khan’s eyes. They are dreams.


Originally published in Dawn, ICON, January 22nd, 2017

Comments

Pune-India Jan 23, 2017 10:13am
RAEES will be released in India but not in Pakistan....
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Javeed Jan 23, 2017 10:22am
Mahira, u r a great actress and a beautiful human being! I & many of my friends are eagerly waiting for Raees to release here in India. I'm sure the movie will do great! cheers
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Prasannajit Jan 23, 2017 10:34am
Why all Pakistanis actors and actress dream bollywood as their ultimate dream and never ever thinking byond this?
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mkb Jan 23, 2017 10:36am
@Javeed I will not see any bollyhood film featuring Pakistani actors.
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salman Jan 23, 2017 11:17am
@Prasannajit Money ! Bigger platform and fame. Just like Indian actors dream for Hollywood and American television. For Pakistani acting fraternity, India is a logical choice for now especially because of same language.
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Peace-Lover Jan 23, 2017 11:20am
Mahiraji, I feel touched reading your interview and feelings about RAEES release in India. Being a indian I apologize for all the bad things happened to your feelings. Honestly, most of indians thinks the way I think and I feel that your movie will be a success and you will get your fair share in the success. God Bless you.
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Bhavdeep Sharma Jan 23, 2017 11:31am
All the best Raees team!
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khakan Jan 23, 2017 11:45am
@Pune-India Excellent keep all Indian Movies out of pakistan
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Ali Jan 23, 2017 11:53am
@Prasannajit sir, the whole india is not thinking beyond pakistan so they are just actors who are targeting the bigger scope in their industry.
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Nurul huda Jan 23, 2017 12:06pm
@MKB I will watch Raees on 26 January along with my friends.
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Shahzad Ahmad Jan 23, 2017 12:09pm
I watch her Interview whenever i can and she is Humble, Sweet and She makes you smile with her smile. May Success follow you wherever you go MK.
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@ABD Jan 23, 2017 12:46pm
@Prasannajit because, one step at a time.
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Alanore Jan 23, 2017 01:29pm
She did a great job in Pakistani films. I am sure she did well in Raees.
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point of view Jan 23, 2017 02:03pm
I wonder, why Pakistani artists not interested to go China [instead of India] for working in Chinese movies and dramas. I believe, China being an iron all weather friend would welcome Pakistan artists.
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Sambit Jan 23, 2017 02:24pm
Really sad, we arent able to see her in promotion for Raees here in India. But we love and respect you as an actor. Hopefully, when things get better, we will be able to see more of her, and other Pak actors. Cheers.
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Arun-KS Jan 23, 2017 02:56pm
Love you Mahira, love your honest feelings, love your sacred sentiments, love your pure emotions! No grudge for you, come again!!
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Aamer Jan 23, 2017 03:08pm
@point of view Working with China seems like a good idea, but we dont have any cutural ties with them. Plus there is a language issues. They can come up with a action pack movie but not a love story. In the past Pakistan Televison did some co productions with China, they were good.
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Absano Jan 23, 2017 03:13pm
What an awesome interview! Insightful, reflective and light to read.
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Rajesh Punjabi Jan 23, 2017 04:20pm
None of her photo was better than an ordinary pakistani girl. An ordinary Pakistani girl is far far beautiful and talented than her. Perhaps not that open i believe.
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bryan Jan 23, 2017 05:17pm
@Aamer Aamer... I think that question was more a comment. During the ban many commentators said that Pakistan should introduce Iranian, Turkish films as our (Pakistani) culture is similar to theirs. Some commentators said we should let Chinese films play in our cinemas since they are our friends. The Cinema owners started bleeding. The fact remains that we cannot change the color of our blood inspite of having nukes against each other. We wish that we don't look like each other or speak or think like each other. But - we cannot change. Some talk shows on YouTube claim that Pakistanis are actually Arabs and Central Asian and nothing to do with Indus civilization. Pakistan also speaks Punjabi, Sindhi, Gujarati, Urdu, Pashto- all these languages are spoken in India as well. The most common thing we have is 'EGO'. That comment came out of helplessness, affectionate anger and frustration of denying what we are and what we are not (Chinese or Turkish or Iranian descent).
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Illuminous Bug Jan 23, 2017 05:17pm
Come to India. Prosper here, make a name for yourself and your people. We will accept you. Welcome you. And ultimately love you. India loves truly talented people. You will receive great love in our country.
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VINOD Jan 23, 2017 05:36pm
@Prasannajit how dumb, it is the same way as your actors dream of hollywood
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Chaman Jan 23, 2017 06:23pm
I don't watch serials but some on recommended Sadkay. I saw some of the episodes. All I have to say is that you are a very talented actress. Sky is the limit Keep working in Indian movies, you may end up in Hollywood soon. I wish more of Pakistanis would travel to India and spend time with common people and entertain the same wish for Indians to visit Pakistan. People are amazing on both sides. Wish could say the same for politicians.
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Point of view Jan 23, 2017 06:24pm
@Aamer, you can have cultural ties with China but will never have similarity in the culture. Whereas, you may or may not have culture ties with India but always have similarity. You may boycott or not but always enjoy Indian music and movies though internet.
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Abby Jan 23, 2017 06:31pm
Why bollywood is hiring talent from other countries.India should stop following the foot steps of hollywood.We have enough talent here.Stop favoring the sources. Our actress like Deepika,Priyanka etc are craving for hollywood. P.S. Sridevi is also hiring Pakistani actors in her Film Mom
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sami Jan 23, 2017 06:59pm
@Pune-India it will release in pakistan as well..
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sami Jan 23, 2017 07:00pm
@Pune-India It will be releasing in Pakistan too on 25th of jan.
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AD Jan 23, 2017 08:28pm
IMHO, quite ordinary.
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Vinod Narang Jan 23, 2017 08:33pm
@Pune-India How can you say that. you are not the distributor so please you and your cronies can keep this hate to your self. Thank you
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sania Jan 23, 2017 08:39pm
Salute to u MAHIRA KHAN
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Ali Jan 23, 2017 08:47pm
The movie should not be released in Pakistan.
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tanvir Jan 23, 2017 09:19pm
@mkb it is embarrassing -- they are artists -- nothing to do with religion or politics. India;s glory in film industry was due to an unbiased policy towards artists.
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Paksitani Jan 23, 2017 09:42pm
I like the way the writer describes her that make me to read the entire article. For Mahira I would say that now she should start dreaming about her family. she has reached her culmination and now moving towards the end.
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a Jan 23, 2017 11:11pm
@salman The top actors here donot wish to go to Hollywood. One oe two max. Soon that trend will be over as well.
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ghosh Jan 23, 2017 11:58pm
@Peace-Lover No most Indians don't think the way you think. You speak for yourself and not anybody else.
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ghosh Jan 23, 2017 11:59pm
@bryan Finally somebody has guts and spoke what rest of desi mind thinks.
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INDIAN Jan 24, 2017 01:03am
This gets my heart.. This interview shows how much she was looking forward to it and how politics, hatred reduced it into nothingness. I hope your movie does well in India as well as Pakistan. Best wishes from this side of the border. All the best Mahira. :)
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rashid nasim Jan 24, 2017 01:39am
You go girl. Do what you feel good and don't worry about critics.
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Abdul Muqtadir Jan 24, 2017 01:54am
@mkb Why?
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Abdul Muqtadir Jan 24, 2017 01:59am
Both Indian and Pakistani people should work to eliminate hate and come closer to stop the bleeding (economic and physical both ) going on for the last 69 years. Mohammad Ali Jinnah after Partition said " India and Pakistan will live like USA & Canada"
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AAhamded Jan 24, 2017 02:13am
@tanvir No It was because Indians watch the Movies. There are no foreign stars in India.
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Vinod narang Jan 24, 2017 02:17am
@Ali Give me a good reason why.? Mahira and SRK already got their money. Why would you want to hurt the little people like theater owner, refreshment stall owners in the theater,. If you do not want this movie just do not go see it. Pakistan's economy will get a big boost by the tax revenue it will get. Try thinking out of the box and out of political thinking
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KP Jan 24, 2017 04:19am
@Prasannajit It is the exposure to millions, stupid!
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Zafar Iqbal Jan 24, 2017 05:57am
@mkb WHy are you reading all this then..???
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Siva D Jan 24, 2017 07:56am
I look forward to your great success in Bollywood. Stay blessed!
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Sangeeta chowdry Jan 24, 2017 07:58am
The hater trolls go take your hate vibes to the other side of darkness. You are lowering your self to the hate-mongering club is that necessary ? Look deep into your heart if you harbor dark feelings on either side of the border then the Prince of HATE has conquered your deep dark soul. The art and exchange is for you to find salvation the good of people and peace for all,
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Goon from the moon Jan 24, 2017 09:34am
Though Pakistan and India are divided by politics and borders, they are united by music and performing arts. Unfortunately, dirty politics in both the countries, especially India, has made performing arts the battle ground between the two nations. Let Bollywood reunite India and Pakistan. This cross-border talent collaboration humanizes the enemies. That's what these politicians are afraid of since it is a big threat for their politics of hate.
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Shahzad Ahmad Jan 24, 2017 10:57am
@Sangeeta chowdry Wonderfully Said!
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Rahul Jan 24, 2017 12:30pm
Being an Indian i am sorry that you are not allowed to work here. for the sake of humanity, Pakistan and India i hope sense prevails and our two countries can build more trust between each other. it will benefit all. wishing you all the best for the release of Raees.
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Pune India Jan 25, 2017 05:07pm
@Aamer: So according to your conclusion there must be something in between India and Pakistan that are connected to each other...what is that...???
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Kangroo Jan 26, 2017 10:27am
Desperate to achieve aims not more than that.
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Mohit Jan 27, 2017 06:00pm
Good performance Mahira. You looked amazing on the large screen and very beautiful. Good luck for your next assignment, be it in Pakistan or India.
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