When the going gets tough, the tough get going ... to the many people that claim they can tell the fortune of those who approach them.

Their clientele ranges from politicians to a poor labourer to housewives and young adults. The problems they are told about are also similar: politics and discrimination at work, a marriage that refuses to work, a cheating spouse or aggressive in-laws ... the list is seemingly endless. In many cases, they cannot avoid bad news. But none of them talk about death to their clients. Even if they’re able to calculate it, they won’t divulge the information, which they say is disallowed in their profession.

What differentiates them is how they reach a reading about people’s fortunes — some rely on your palms, others on the planetary system, and some on numerology. But every time, these people try to satisfy their customers’ queries as best as they can, although their predictions are not always spot on.

Fiction, fact or fantasy … what does the future hold for you? If you believe that fate is already written in the heavens, then this is the definitive guide to fortune-telling for you

Meet the professionals who spend their lives helping others to prepare for the future. After all, being forewarned is being forearmed.

Temptation of the tarot cards

While a layperson may not understand what a deck of numbered cards with unusual pictures means, a tarot card reader will decipher the number assigned to each card, make some calculations and tell you what the chances are of something happening, or not, in your life.

“This is one of the oldest ways of reading the future,” says Marium Aftab, a renowned tarot card reader in Lahore. “It’s basically numerology: every card has a number and reading it needs concentration and a sharp memory. It can help guide a person when they are lost.”

Aftab has helped clients identify where their true talents lie, why they were not successful in one profession and which one to choose to maximise their potential. In a way, she helps people redirect their lives but she believes she is helping them heal.

“Sometimes people don’t want to listen to you; they just want a favourable answer to their question,” says Aftab. “But I can’t tell everything that’s coming up; that’s shirk. There’s a lot of sixth sense involved and the more you pad it with knowledge, the better you’ll be able to give advice.”

Ask Marium Aftab as many questions as you want in around 20 minutes and dish out around 2,500 rupees. Once a client realises that what they were informed about has actually happened in real life, they return for more. Many sceptics have turned into repeat clients, says Aftab, because tarot card reading does indeed work. She has guided several kinds of people at many stages in their lives. “In solving people’s problems, you get to live so many lives.”

Timeless astrology

The lives of politicians are a strange thing: saviours one moment, criminals the next, and prime ministers later on in their lives.

“Politicians want to know when they’ll get power,” narrates astrologer Shariq Ali. “Many years ago, the second richest man in the country reached out to me and wanted to know when he’ll have more money. So astrology is a great tool to know people and their real faces. They open up to us and can’t hide.”

An astrologer reads planetary conditions and draws their analysis from the movement of celestial bodies. What they require from clients is their date, time and place of birth. This allows astrologers to make an initial reading about the client, inform them a bit about their past and present, and proceed with answering questions thrown at them.

Although astrology is commonly written off in Pakistan as an antiquated practice or one looked down upon by religion, some astrologers believe it is rooted entirely in science. Shariq Ali comes from the same tradition: self-taught and someone who has almost always operated online, he believes that astrology is a tool to help, guide and influence people positively.

“A fortune-teller will tell you that you’re going to have a great life and you’ll be happy. An astrologer will tell you there’s a great time coming up but you need to work harder. I will only tell you the truth and not what you want to hear,” explains Ali.

Indeed the notion of changing fate is something that many clients arrive with, much to the chagrin of many astrologers.

“Destiny is fixed and written by God; we only read that script and that’s where it ends,” argues astrologer Moazzam Ali Khan. “Amulets, chilla, slaps, brooms — none of these things are concerned with fate. Why would we need God if we could change fate?”

Khan charges 2,000 rupees per session. Many of his clients come to him with questions about their financial fate. But of late, most of his clients have been young, professional women being pressured into marriages. “I’ve been told I only provide bad news but it’s not up to me. They’re born with what’s going to happen in their lives. I only read it out to them.”

Both Ali and Khan are wary of those deceiving people in the name of astrology and warn clients against them.

“If you are releasing caged birds or wearing amulets while practising astrology, if you indulge in casting spells or some form of magic, or if you are asking for alms and donations, then you’re ripping people off,” asserts Khan. “These are ways to mint money and have nothing to do with astrology or reality.”

Numero Uno!

Most people coming to numerologist M.H. Nadir want to know when they would be getting married. Some also want to know what their lucky number is. But as the numerologist explains, numerology is connected with astrology since both involve mathematical calculations. That is why most numerologists here are also astrologers.

Nadir’s mathematical mind kicks into gear the moment a person introduces themselves to him. “I add the number of alphabets in their name to get an idea of their personality,” he says.

For instance, if your name is spelt with six letters, Nadir is going to add those up to come to a number to figure out your personality. He explains that there are basically only certain types of personalities in the world, of which there could be variations. But all can be deduced by employing numbers to decode personality types.

Then he can also tell more about you by asking your date of birth. For instance, if someone was born on November 27, 1972, Nadir would first add 2 and 7 to come up with 9. This is then used it in a new equation: 2+7+9+1+9+7+2=37. This 37 is puts into use again. Adding the two numbers (3+7) he comes to 10. And then adding 1+0, he gets the number 1. Now he has the type of personality and what kind of other personalities are attracted to them all figured out.

Although astrology is commonly written off in Pakistan as an antiquated practice or one looked down upon by religion, some astrologers believe it is rooted entirely in science.

“Combining this with astrology, I can give you your lucky number or when you can expect to get married,” he says. “Because knowing your date of birth will give me your start sign and then all I need to do is prepare your chart to tell you about your future, which is 95 percent correct,” he says.

Nadir presents 2008 as an example: back then, he had predicted in a magazine that Asif Ali Zardari’s good times shall begin after the first week of September that year. “And he was sworn in as the president of Pakistan on September 9,” he shares.

The numerologist is of the view that not every numerologist is accurate. “That is because all haven’t mastered the art and take it as a game of numbers. It is not a game,” he says.

Palmistry

Mustafa Ellahee introduces himself as a medical palmist and numerologist. His work has made him quite a celebrity but Ellahee says that he is first a Hafiz-i-Quran and a student of Islam, which looks down on “ilm-i-najoom.” “Palmistry and numerology are therefore a scientific study for me,” he points out. Medical palmistry, he explains, has several branches, “just like there are several branches of medicine.”

For starters, there is colour palmistry, psychic palmistry, spiritual palmistry which combined add to medical palmistry. Mustafa explains that medical palmistry takes in account the colouration of the hands, fingers, nails, as well as the shape of the hands and fingers and thumb. “And from making a note of all these things you are able to read a person’s nature, traits and personality in general. You can even see if that person is suffering from any psychological issue such as depression, even dementia or schizophrenia,” he says.

The structure of the hands and fingers also figure in the study. It is said that there are only seven types of hand shapes identified in palmistry. “There are small hands, very small hands, long hands, very long hands, ordinary hands, square hands, mixed hands, ideal hands, primary hands, artist’s hands, philosopher’s hands and the workman’s hands,” says the medical palmist.

Part of the science of palmistry is just identifying the shape and size of the hands. “You can tell so much about each person by just looking at that. For instance, we already have this much figured out that a person with a small hand would be rather ambitious but lazy too. And it is due to their laziness that they aren’t able to follow their ambitions. Similarly, you have people with square hands with crooked or bony fingers. These people are considered intellectuals and geniuses,” he explains.

“Now if I see a long life line, several marriage lines, an island, mount, etc, on the square hand of one person, the same kind of lines on the small hand of another would carry a different meaning,” he says. “So you have to take everything into account before telling a person about him or her by reading the lines on their hands. It has to do with more than just lines,” he adds.

“More variations come in the form of what a line is identified as. Like the life line identified by Europeans is the heart line for the Chinese whereas the Russians call it the line of luck!”

Who stole Jugni?

It is 3pm. A black Corolla Altis pulls up in front of the broken footpath of the side lane that falls between Abdullah Shah Ghazi’s shrine and Bagh Ibne Qasim. A woman steps out while adjusting her dupatta over her head. The man sitting there under a makeshift shade, who could be mistaken for a cobbler if you don’t look carefully, smiles to see his daily customer.

The woman squats in front of the 50 or so envelopes neatly lined in front of the man and gives him a piece of paper, which he promptly puts in another empty envelope lying beside him. Then he offers a stick to Sheroo, his very wise green parrot, to climb on and come out from his cage. Sheroo, after being placed in front of the envelopes, is told to find an envelope for the nice lady squatting before them. Sheroo takes his time as he waddles up and down the aisle while tilting his head on either side in order to stare at the envelopes closely. Then he stops and pulls one out with his beak.

The man rewards the parrot with a piece of guava before placing him back in his cage. The woman is given the card inside the envelope to read for herself. She seems pleased and asks the man if she can take it with her while promising to bring it back the next day. “Of course,” the man nods and she pays him 100 rupees before leaving.

“She comes here around the same time every day,” says the man, Mohammad Aslam, smiling. He explains that fal, this method of using a parrot to pull out an envelope, is not really fortune-telling but “giving advice.”

“I would compare it to being advised from a very wise uncle or grandparent,” explains Aslam, adding that they don’t pen the words on the cards inside the envelopes. “We get all that from various books such as Qurani Falnama, Shama Shabistan-i-Raza, etc. We just photo copy the advice from the books and leave them in the envelopes. Then it is your luck what the parrot pulls out,” he says.

“There are many here who don’t feel confident to make a decision even about small everyday things. They feel completely lost without someone telling them this is what they should do,” he says.

The fal people can usually be found along with their parrots and envelopes near the beach in Clifton. Mohammad Aslam says that it is because it is where people come for leisure. “In the beginning they try it for fun. But if the advice given proves beneficial they get hooked to it,” he laughs. “My fee per fal is 50 rupees only but satisfied customers usually present me with much more than that.”

When asked if he had received any formal training for this, Mohammad Aslam smiles while shaking his head. “No, I don’t need any training. It is my parrot who gets the training. It takes about a week to train a parrot to climb on a stick and pull out an envelope with its beak,” he says adding that Sheroo is recently trained as his other parrot Jugni was taken away from him by an unsatisfied and very angry customer Guddu Bihari.

“He’s the area hooligan, a badmash, who used to come to me occasionally for taking out his fal. Two weeks ago, he came here fuming. He said that he wanted to shoot Jugni because she gave him wrong advice which cost him millions of rupees. He just took away my birdcage with poor Jugni inside. I still haven’t heard from him or Jugni.”

Published in Dawn, Sunday Magazine, January 1st, 2017