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I spoke up to make Pakistani women strong and to defend my husband, says Faryal Makhdoom

I spoke up to make Pakistani women strong and to defend my husband, says Faryal Makhdoom

Faryal reveals why she alleged that husband Amir's family was harassing her and trying to cause a rift in their marriage
Updated 08 Dec, 2016

British-Pakistani boxing champ Amir Khan and his wife Faryal Makhdoom appear to have a picture-perfect marriage, but a shocking Snapchat story Faryal published earlier this week alleged that the couple has long been suffering harassment at the hands of Amir's family.

On Snapchat, Faryal, who is also building her own beauty brand, claimed that her in-laws attempted to hit her and also tried to engineer a divorce when she was nine months pregnant with the couple's first child. She claimed that her husband was also a victim of their bullying tactics.

Screenshots of Faryal's Snapchat story
Screenshots of Faryal's Snapchat story

As Faryal's Snapchat story began circulating on social media and in the press, some in Pakistan lauded her for speaking out against domestic violence and harassment while others criticised her and questioned her motives. Many also wondered whether Amir was standing by Faryal through these disclosures.

Faryal spoke to Images about the fallout from her revelation, and explained that she and Amir are very much on the same team.

"I did it [spoke out on Snapchat] because there are so many Pakistani daughters-in-law who go through this and never speak up," says Faryal. "I was one of them, who stayed quiet for my husband's respect, for my family's sake. I spoke up to make these women strong... I spoke up to defend my husband who's done so much for his family but still gets grief, why? I wanted people to see this is unacceptable."

The couple wed in the summer of 2013 in New York. Photo: Action Images/Dailymail
The couple wed in the summer of 2013 in New York. Photo: Action Images/Dailymail

When asked about how Amir figured into this situation, Faryal explains that he gradually came to see her grievances were not unfounded. "At first it was the cultural thing of mom, dad, listen to everything they say. But in time Amir saw I was getting mistreated and it wasn't fair to see your wife and child be put through this. Amir supports me in everything I do, we are one."

According to Faryal, her domestic situation was unbearable for the three years she's been with Amir. She said she'd "done her best" to assimilate into Amir's family life, but she couldn't "win over" his mother and sisters.

Faryal says she was bullied by her in-laws on social media too
Faryal says she was bullied by her in-laws on social media too

But now that she's spoken out, she feels a sense of relief.

"Because I spoke out, so many other women have spoken out," says Faryal. "I feel they've become stronger seeing a Pakistani woman speak out. The amount of love and support and following I got was insane and I want them to know they have that support too."

Faryal says the situation as it stands is that Amir has bought his family a house, and she hopes that "his family stays happy in their house and that we stay happy in our house."

"They are his parents," concludes Faryal. "I want him to speak to his mom and dad forever, but I want to stay in my private life without them hovering around giving me abuse."

Amir Khan with his now two-year-old daughter, Lamaisah Khan.
Amir Khan with his now two-year-old daughter, Lamaisah Khan.

Faryal's allegations hit home in Pakistan, where domestic abuse is rife and women are expected to endure bad marriages or even violence to respect their family's honour. in 2015, prominent couple Imran Khan and Reham Khan's divorce was also plagued by allegations of mistreatment and ill will between their two families.

On social media, a petition titled 'Team Faryal Makhdoom' is being circulated, among other hashtags and shows of support.

Though Amir's family has yet to issue a statement, for now Faryal is secure in her decision to go public.

"Yes his mom and dad have an impact on his early life. But to treat your son differently as soon as he gets married is not fair," she concludes.

Comments

Pakistan Zindabad Dec 08, 2016 11:41am
Dear Madam. Mind it. Our Pakistani women are quite stronger and braver then you and might be your husband. Because they accept their in laws as their own father mother and brother sisters. So a mother has right to scold their young. And daughters has right to show airs. That's how a family keep it strong. Not singing and crying out in front of others.
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Anwar Mahmood Dec 08, 2016 12:03pm
Feeling very sad for all who lost their lives in this tragedy. I express my sadness though some sad lyrics from a song by America's all time incomparable voice of Nat King Cole that sadly go as such: I'll sigh for you I'll cry for you I'll tear the stars down from the sky for you. I
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Proud Pakistani Dec 08, 2016 12:09pm
This is pakistans cultural dilemma as soon as the bride comes in the house she is the worst person and before that she is the daughter and friend for everyone. This mentality needs to be changed. We don't know exactly what has happened as this is one sided story but our women and daughters should not be degraded and need to stand for it.
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Abdul sattar Dec 08, 2016 12:10pm
Brave woman
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Dr. Tankra Dec 08, 2016 12:43pm
My wife has been serving my family for 20 years. But if you ask my sisters, my wife would be the worst woman in the world.
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Fawzia H Dec 08, 2016 12:47pm
The relationship between female in laws and girls has for many reasons, not evolved through millennia. Once a man is thought to be old enough to be married and start a family, than mothers and sisters must allow him to lead his own life. Otherwise, don't let your son get married until you are ready to let him go.
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Anonymous Dec 08, 2016 12:47pm
Dear Mothers and sisters, Its fine that you love your son and brother respectively but please let your son also spend good time with his wife. Let the couple build a good relationship instead of finding excuses or complaints in everything. Same applies to wife that she is respectful enough to their in-laws. Geo aur jeenay do!
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Shahid Manzoor Dec 08, 2016 01:25pm
With the type of stuff shown to our families through the so called dramas and soups now days, this is what you can expect. I always wonder, are there only conspiring in laws and daughter in laws in our families and society. There is so such goodness, in our society and family structure, but somehow our writers and producers cannot find any such goodness. We get what we teach and show our children
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naim.nov@live.com Dec 08, 2016 01:42pm
This is one side of the story.
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fairy Dec 08, 2016 01:46pm
@Pakistan Zindabad But who gave this right to mother in law.????
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fairy Dec 08, 2016 01:47pm
relation with in-laws is always of give ad take.
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Anonymous Dec 08, 2016 02:11pm
@Pakistan Zindabad wow, so it's okay to abuse and bully your daughter in law?
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Arshad Hussain Khan Dec 08, 2016 03:43pm
Wait for the reply of Mother in Law. But i know she won't. Because matured woman keep their matters in Private.
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Imtiaz ali khan Dec 08, 2016 03:46pm
Faryal Makhdoom/Amir Khan I respect your decision for coming out like this in public. So many lives of beautiful couples have been destroyed by in laws/family and daughter in law relationship unfair treatment. A girl comes into a new family, try to assimilate in a hostile environment, where everything about the daughter in law will be judged. Sooner or later the negative energy will also circles the husband and rest of the support staff. Faryal Makhdoom you are lucky to have a supportive husband, being British you have laws which will protect you, as you made a change to live in a separate house. Most Desi girls don't have these protection even implementation of these laws in our 3rd world countries is next to none, because of this they live under abusive live conditions at the hands of the in laws, many ended up loosing their lives. Sadly, unfair treatment also destroys the in laws/family because due to karma.
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Joe Dec 08, 2016 03:54pm
Thank God, my sisters and my wife have a perfect relationship. It takes love and respect from all sides but they treat her like a sister even though she is not Pakistani and not Muslim. I hope it stays this way forever.
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Imtiaz ali khan Dec 08, 2016 03:55pm
I pray today that socioeconomic issues dealt with having strong laws/implementation for protecting the innocent. Ragging in schools is another example of unfair treatment and bullying that has caused so many souls pain and many even lost their lives in the struggle to gain strength. Faryal Makhdoom and Amir Khan, you guys are such a beautiful couple in looks/ and way more importantly in the heart :) Thank you for what you guys are doing for Pakistani children/people through your projects, we are aware of it. I was reading about Amir wants to open a boxing training center in India to help impoverished kids, this shows that love you guys have for humanity is above negatives. No wonder God has given you everything in this world wealth and more importantly love of millions who adore you guys including me. So many people look up to you guys, thank you for being just you, my beautiful PakBritish couple wish you all the Shanti in your lives. Love IAK :)
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james Dec 08, 2016 04:14pm
@Arshad Hussain Khan... unless you are in the wrong
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Maqdood Dec 08, 2016 04:57pm
Be Bold like your Boxer husband.
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Inzy Dec 08, 2016 05:13pm
TV dramas are catalysts to family discords. The number of divorces is directly proportional to the time spent watching saas-bahu serials on Television.
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Zain Zaman Dec 08, 2016 05:29pm
I meet Aamir's mother in Kahuta , she is a nice lady , very humble and down to earth, so i don't buy your statment madam
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Yasir khan Dec 08, 2016 05:32pm
You live in UK, but you spoke for Pakistani women. BRAVO!! Keep playing the victim card and exploitation of a very serious issue.
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kanwarch Dec 08, 2016 05:38pm
@naim.nov@live.com I agree but the story is usually the same. Both sides need to understand the needs and right of other party but boys family has a bigger responsibility to let the girl settle down and enjoy her married life. At the same time wife`s should realize that parents and other family members have some rights too.
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Your brother in Islam from Pak! Dec 08, 2016 07:07pm
@Proud Pakistani Yes, the mothers have to be patient with daughter in law like they are patient with their own daughters. Lots mothers change their attitude with their own son right after having them married. He is your son don't worry, but learn to share now because he is married at this point.
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Ammar Dec 08, 2016 07:34pm
@Dr. Tankra Serving please get help ! No one is born to serve anyone
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Khan Dec 08, 2016 07:51pm
@Pakistan Zindabad No one has the right to abuse anyone. Mind it.
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Ari Dec 08, 2016 08:03pm
I would admit that my wife had a very tough time dealing with her in-laws right after we got married. It has been 14 years and there is still no change. I was fortunate that I live abroad so I have decide to keep a distance between my family and her. I was able to achieve peace with this distance but whenever we get together once in a blue moon, I feel tension on both sides. Parents need to learn that their kids never remain kids forever. They cannot control their kids forever. Let them live their own lives. They shouldn't complaint all the time about their spouses. Live and let live.
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Sheeda 2.0 Dec 08, 2016 08:05pm
This was expected. Amir comes from a very traditional background. Women empowerment is the biggest fear for orthodox Pakistani culture. She deserves better!
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mohi Dec 08, 2016 08:14pm
No, you spoke to create rifts in your husband's family but he must understand parents and siblings are much more important than the wives. he can have another wife but not another mother or brother.
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uzi Dec 08, 2016 08:19pm
@Inzy I do not have the time and the patience to watch drama and it does not correlates to divorces in any way. Abuse correlates with divorces. I stopped putting up with abuse and took divorce after 17 years. Sometimes keeping things in private and not speaking out helps the perpetrators of abuse. The victim suffers in silence. Life does not have to be that way. I feel so much better now.
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uzi Dec 08, 2016 08:21pm
@Yasir khan You will be surprised how Pakistani families here in US and UK are living outdated cultural practices and exert tremendous control over their sons. I know many cases.
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waheed Dec 08, 2016 09:06pm
@Zain Zaman that means nothing
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raja Dec 08, 2016 09:31pm
No wonder. One look at the wife and you know she would not be accepted in a traditional pakistani pendu family
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kit kit Dec 08, 2016 09:35pm
I blame both parties. Fair enough for Faryal to stand up to them but she also would not have crossed paths with such a tradional pand type family had he not been a celebrity. All for the money and fame so she could pout and meet nonsense celebs. than she pipes up on social media. Amir's family now have money money but are from a Mirpur family not excatly known for their liberal education This family hand picked her for her credentials as a NewYork uni educated beautiful girls from a good family even though their son went to a poor state comprehensive school and was barely educated. he was better off marrying someone from his own backgground but his family wanted it all, looks , background the works. the same applies to her , normally they would have laughed at the proposals of Amir types. She has also not comprised to his families more conservative outlook. Why marry Amir than- fame
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Kamran b Dec 08, 2016 09:41pm
The problem is cultural/generational. First, you have Amir Khan's parents, born in the early part of 20th century, about 60 years ago. Their coming of age would be about 40 years ago. On top of that, they grew up in Pakistan. Then you have his's wife, born 40 years later, grew up in the UK. There are so many factors working against each other that there's bound to be friction. The parents assumed that since the girl has Pakistani parents, they would get a traditional Pakistani girl. And the girl assumed, that since the parents have been living in the UK for so long, they wouldn't have eastern expectations. Since both parties overlooked critical details, they need to compromise. The parents need to give their son space to live his western life, afterall, the parents arent living in Pakistan. Similarly, the girl has to give a little extra respect to the parents, as she didnt get married to a white brit, and shouldn't treat her inlaws as such. The poor soul in this saga is Amir Khan.
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Imran Dec 08, 2016 09:56pm
The issue here is that Amir Khan and Feryal Makhdoom are a mismatch. Amir Khan comes from a traditional, God fearing Muslim family while Feryal belongs to a westernized liberal family. She is a model, wears revealing clothes while Amir Khan's family is more modest. He might have fallen for her looks and style but that only works in the short term. In the long term you need someone who matches your values and shares your culture.
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whocares Dec 08, 2016 10:14pm
@Pakistan Zindabad Mariah? you sound mad, mad or jealous, so much so youre not mking sense
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whocares Dec 08, 2016 10:15pm
@mohi thats ok...all have to separate eventually
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sajid khan Dec 08, 2016 10:16pm
If your husband stand by you and everything is moving in the direction you want, what's the point of dragging your inside family problems to the public. How are you defending your husband when you are taking a shot at his parents in the public. They be wrong and moving on with your life with your husband in secrecy should do it. Love begets love. Hate begets hate. Amir going to regret to allow his parents to be dragged in public.
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Axomiya Dec 08, 2016 10:18pm
@Zain Zaman Try becoming her daughter in law, you will find out.
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whocares Dec 08, 2016 10:21pm
@naim.nov@live.com and a public safety issue!
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Alisha Dec 08, 2016 10:58pm
@Pakistan Zindabad however that doesn't give them the right to abuse their daughter in law in derogatory terms.
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Uzair Dec 08, 2016 11:08pm
Every pseudo-liberal wants to impose their 'enlightened' values on others. These rants are predicated on the assumption that Pakistanis are primitive creatures and must incorporate Western 'liberal' values for transformation. Pathetic cheap publicity stunt!
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Zi Dec 08, 2016 11:09pm
@Pakistan Zindabad sorry to see that you accept such kind of treatment. Marriage is a two way traffic. Does mother in law takes the new bride as her own daughter? No. So you only get what you give to others.
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Rashid nasim Dec 08, 2016 11:51pm
You go girl. Be brave and stand for the best of your family first. May God give you more strength.
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:08am
@Pakistan Zindabad :Rubbish!!
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Shehz Dec 09, 2016 12:10am
Living in a joint family household is the cause. A happy marriage is where the husband is the true head of the household and the wife is the real queen of the home. It's always the in-laws who will destroy the foundation.
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Hopeful Dec 09, 2016 12:13am
@Pakistan Zindabad But they do not have the right to abuse in any manner.
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:16am
@Dr. Tankra : Please walk away from your parents' home and set up your own family home! You are a doctor--you can afford to set up your own home--at least after 20 WHOLE years! Your spouse is NOT slave and your mother is not going to retire on the slave work of someone else's daughter! Are you training your own daughter for slavery in in-laws' home?
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Hopeful Dec 09, 2016 12:17am
@Imtiaz ali khan Why not write a thesis paper? Keep it short. Thanks
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:22am
@naim.nov@live.com : That "one-sided story" has been proven to to be TRUE historically. Of course, there are sons-in-law and daughters-in- law who bring their own dramas. But, usually, the host in-laws consider a daughter-in-law a servant to replace the mother-in-law who served her in-laws hand and foot. This generational servitude of daughters-in-law must be disrupted NOW!
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:24am
@fairy : Mother-in-law decides she has served her in-laws hard and for long, and can now retire with her own slave! The Mom-in-law's daughters go tribal on their new sister-in-law!
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:26am
@fairy :Or, just TAKE from one side or another?
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MUNIRA s. Dec 09, 2016 12:26am
i have not seen any culture whether there is good relations between daughter in law and MIL and DIL and SIL. And husband's life is miserable supporting wife, mother ans sister and keeping a balancing act. If he takes wife's side he is henpecked husband who doesnt care about his mother, if he cares about his parents he is Mama's boy. No wonder young kids dont want to marry and make their life miserable.
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:26am
@Arshad Hussain Khan :Age does not mature everyone. Look at Donald Trump!
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:32am
@Joe : Must treat her even better BECAUSE she is not Pakistani and Not Muslim! Thats how you make your culture respected! I was rejected and we dumped the whole bunch and my spouse and I choose with whom we associate and have happily espoused our early isolation--got a great family of our own, educated, and well-off enough to live well--the best revenge!
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sam Dec 09, 2016 12:32am
@Joe - same here mate, only thing is my wife is a muslim and i am not.. but still we have a amicable atmosphere at home..
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:33am
@Zain Zaman :You are NOT the daughter-in-law! The Mom-in-law has no bones to pick with you! Learn about Janus!
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:39am
@kanwarch : The best argument for a nuclear family in such cases! A new daughter-in-law migrates from her home and family to a new home and to new ways and world views. The new daughter-in-law needs to be welcomed and made comfortable and treated VERY lovingly. Setting upon her the day after she comes do all the work for the large family she inherits is cruel slavery! My town-raised sister was forced to work in the fields and abused by her husband. I nearly killed him!
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Harambe of Cincinnati Dec 09, 2016 12:41am
@mohi : Go to heck--Mohi!
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anony Dec 09, 2016 12:54am
Looks like a drama queen.
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Nasir Dec 09, 2016 01:15am
Women are not the friends of women. When will they realise this?? That's why you need a man ;)
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Nasir Dec 09, 2016 01:16am
@Arshad Hussain Khan If I was abusive I wouldn't want it getting it out either. After all I might have other kids who need a wife.
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A2Z @ Pakistan Dec 09, 2016 01:40am
Bravo! To stand up, even to the extent of standing alone. We, here in Pakistan, and Pakistanis, are nothing but hypocrite, and the best part, Muslims to the core, but not human, at all.
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Sara Dec 09, 2016 04:01am
Islamically this is a private matter and shouldn't be broadcasted via media. No one knows the full story and the freedom that faryal makhdoom has to dress and behave doesn't look of a women whose been bullied. Daughter inlaws also need to better themselves at the end of the day they to will become mother inlaws in the future. A man can get a new wife but not new parents. I never understand why women put the poor guy in the middle of it.
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Sana Dec 09, 2016 04:42am
@Pakistan Zindabad I'm so genuinely ashamed that this is the highest rated comment.
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Tabassum Dec 09, 2016 04:47am
Someone's daughter comes to your home as another daughter, you think she is not your biological daughter, you do not give as respect as you should, that's the problem starts right there, give her some time to breathe and settle her in the new environment, only understanding and love like your own daughter will make healthy family progress.
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xman Dec 09, 2016 05:26am
Suffering of Amir ......
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Arif Dec 09, 2016 06:35am
@Joe how long have you been married?
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badshahuk Dec 09, 2016 07:07am
@mohi Are you married mohi. Please do not give a sermon on the brothers and family of the husband. In Pakistan brothers kill brothers and parents for such things as land and money. This is pretty prevalent in the Pakistani society.
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badshahuk Dec 09, 2016 07:08am
Keep it up Faryal.
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asma Dec 09, 2016 08:23am
@Zain Zaman Really? Did you live with her for 3 years? What a ridiculous statement. The worst thing to do is to DOUBT the victims of abuse.
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UFO Dec 09, 2016 09:31am
How much weight it carries without knowing any part of the story from the other side? Seems like wife of the celebrity is desperate to come into spotlight by any means for the sake of promotion of her brand.
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SAIMA Dec 09, 2016 10:02am
women are so insecure generally and when cant see other woman taking or preceding their place. there comes hatred jealousy and all lame issues from both sides. in-laws should show some maturity too at this point, they are too intervening themselves but expect otherwise in their homes
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zaheer ahmed Dec 09, 2016 10:05am
Mutual respect within a family system is very important. This is one way to live in peace in a joint family, otherwise better to have separate home to live after worsening the situation and not to quit alone with bang.
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nk Dec 09, 2016 11:02am
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope your husband will stand by you and will not listen to his sisters and mom especially when they are so unfair in this case. Your's is a story which gets repeated across indo pak sub-continent in so many households. We need to be more tolerant towards others and let others live.
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Waqar Dec 09, 2016 02:23pm
@Pakistan Zindabad I denounce your concept of braver & s tronger
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salman Dec 09, 2016 08:18pm
@Pakistan Zindabad imagine your sister or daughter in this condition and then feel
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salman Dec 09, 2016 08:19pm
@Dr. Tankra this is extremely sad in our family system
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Amer Rao Dec 10, 2016 06:43am
Dear Amir, Keep eye on her.
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Naseem Dec 10, 2016 01:05pm
Putting religion, culture and everything else aside. Someone gives you a precious daughter love her as your own, mistakes or no mistakes just like you love your children unconditionally. Maybe Faryal should have sat down and sorted it out in a different manner because any slandering will definitely have some form of negative ramifications.
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Nawaz Dec 11, 2016 08:08am
@Ari is it because sons do not look after their parents as they should? It is the sons fault that his old parents feel insecure after the sons marriage and that is why they blame the daughter in law ...not realizing it is the son who is not fulfilling his duty and the daughter in law is not responsible for that!
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IMTIAZ ALI KHAN Dec 12, 2016 11:52pm
@Hopeful Shanti :)
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Atsul Dec 14, 2016 08:07am
Defend my husband, ha. What a disgraceful couple.
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