Overcome your fear of conflict

Many of us try to avoid confrontation. Instead of addressing issues directly, we try to be ‘nice’ and then later vent about the frustration eating away at us. This can take a significant toll on our health and self-esteem — and on our work relationships and reputation.

Next time you notice yourself shying away from conflict, focus on the business needs and speak objectively. For example, if you have a co-worker who always interrupts you in meetings, explain the need to present a unified front: “In the last meeting, I noticed we were interacting in a way that may be throwing off the team. It’s important to appear united. Can we determine our roles in advance or establish cues for when it’s time to pass the baton?” People avoid conflict because they assume that it has to be aggressive or disrespectful. It doesn’t — if you remain approachable, nonjudgmental and calm.

(Adapted from Get Over Your Fear of Conflict, by Amy Jen Su)

Give everyone in the meeting a job to do

Every meeting organiser wants people to attend, pay attention and participate. Assigning attendees a specific role is a good way to accomplish all of this. Before your next meeting, consider appointing:

A facilitator to guide the group through the phases of discussion, problem-solving and decision-making. He also makes sure one opinion doesn’t dominate — a good role for someone who wants more leadership experience.

A scribe to capture any key points, ideas and decisions established in the meeting. This is a great assignment for someone who is shy but wants to participate.

A contributor to offer ideas and help keep the discussion on track. Tell the person you’re counting on him to ensure that all the key issues are addressed.

An expert to share knowledge on particular issues as requested. He can attend just part of the meeting.

(Adapted from Running Meetings — 20-Minute Manager series)

Manage your time

Advice for better time management typically includes saying no to meeting invites or checking email less often. But actions like these might adversely affect your colleagues. So before starting a new productivity regimen, get input from your co-workers and experiment with different techniques to see what might work for everyone. If your approach is going to infringe on someone else’s work, ask how you can make it up to him. You also need to make clear what you’re doing and why. If you want to decline meeting invites, share your reasoning: you’re working on a big initiative or other members of your team are attending. And because changing how you work can be disruptive, time your new approach wisely — not during a sensitive crunch period.

(Adapted from Manage Your Time Without Annoying Your Co-Workers, by Amy Gallo)

Not make common negotiating mistakes

Even the best negotiators can make mistakes. Make sure all of your careful preparation isn’t wasted at the table by avoiding these common traps:

Failing to listen. Spending hours or days preparing your argument will naturally make you want to share your interests, lay out options and so forth. But when you get into the room, focus on listening and asking questions as much as (if not more than) presenting your case.

Sacrificing your interests to preserve the relationship. Deal with you and your counterpart’s relationship separately. Any trust issues should be resolved before you move on to the substance of the negotiation.

Focusing on positions, not interests. It’s easy to establish what you both want and then move quickly into the specifics of the agreement. But the two of you need to take time to understand the drivers behind your positions — or you won’t be able to reach an agreement that satisfies both of you.

(Adapted from the HBR Guide to Negotiating, by Jeff Weiss)

Make staff feel powerful

Research has shown that helping employees feel more powerful can improve productivity, performance and job satisfaction. Delegate important tasks, communicate frequently and encourage them to share their views on important issues. You don’t have to elevate every staff member to a leadership position, but you can offer choices that lead to greater autonomy. Giving them some choice, in the way they do their work or the projects they work on, can make a big difference — no title required. People crave a sense of control over their situation. It helps you develop independent thinkers who moving the organisation forward.

(Adapted from Make Your Team Feel Powerful, by Harrison Monarth)

Published in Dawn, Economic & Business, August 18th, 2014