The clock struck two as son and dad watched a tense game of cricket on TV. It was the best of three tri-final of the 2027 World Twenty20 and the Indian Vande Bookies were favourites against the England Chapatis, after beating the Australian Curries in the previous final. The summer night in Delhi was still very hot, even at 2 o’clock in the night. The Indian team appeared tired having finished their game against the Australians at 5pm in the afternoon.

But it couldn’t be helped. A consortium of Australian bankers had bought out Singfisher beer, which was the lead sponsor of the tournament, from Vijay Malya. Cricket Australia had therefore demanded that all the matches should be played at peak viewing time back home. With Bepsi cola paying its sponsorship fees from Harclays Bank in London, the Brits had demanded that their part of the final was played during UK prime time. It had been further proven by research that the English were drinking more Bepsi per head than Indians so the ICC Court of Appeals had upheld their right to schedule the match.

“Dad, why are the teams called Bookies, Chapatis and Curries?” asked the 12-year-old watching the game on TV, happy that the Indian government had announced that schools and offices will start at 12 noon the next day because of the timing of the match.

“Well son, last year the bookies took control of BCCI with three seats out of 22 and with a majority vote, had changed the name from Indian Vande Matarams to Vande Bookies,” explained Dad.

“But they were only three out of 22, Dad,” said the son with a quizzical look. “Auntie told us that if you take away three apples from 22 you are left with 19.”

“Because the three claimed that together they had made more money than the other 19 combined, which meant they had better brains so should make the decisions,” Dad explained again.

“And why isn’t the England or Australian team called Burgers or Pizzas or something?”

“Because the people with the highest buying power in those countries are South Asians and they both want to target that community.” said Dad. “The whites spend all their savings paying off their debt so they are not a priority anymore.”

The son nodded slowly as he understood why there were three round chapattis stacked vertically under the crown on the England players’ caps rather than the three lions he had seen in an old picture book.

There was suddenly a roar from the TV as an Indian Bookie flicked an England Chapati spinner to the fielder at deep mid wicket. “That was a lovely Bicrosoft computer chip by the batsman straight to the Ishtarbucks coffee sector of the field,” Justin Bieber’s voice could be heard. Commentators had long been dispensed with as they cost too much money and had trouble remembering which shot was sponsored by which sponsor.

The artificially intelligent boxes had replaced them with a camera and software installed that could do that. The box also possessed the capability to replicate the voice of any popular artist.

“Dad, why isn’t Virat Kohli captaining the team this time? He was scoring a lot of runs before the tournament.”

“Well, he appeared in a global ad campaign for a Pakistani company.” Dad said looking over his eight-page bumper Sunday edition of The MRF Vindalistan Times. “Since its rival in India is one of the sponsors, they filed a petition in BCCI under the Sponsors Act which says that the sponsor can ask for a player to be omitted if they feel he has harmed their business interests.”

“Why isn’t Pakistan playing in the finals? They beat all the three teams that are.”

“Yes, but by not enough margins as is required for level two teams,” pointed out Dad. “For their victory to be counted they have to score the target in 20 overs less than what a team from among the Honourable Three took to score their runs. It’s the same with defending. They lose if one of the HT teams crosses 80 per cent of the runs they scored. That’s why they call it Twenty20 cricket now.”

The Delhi crowd cheered as Shankar Dhawan returned to the pavilion. “It’s hard for the batsman, but then it is his fault,” said the box in Ranbir Singh’s voice. “He was stupid enough to play four dot balls in a row. The red button flashed and it showed that the viewers had voted out the batsman by pressing the red button on their remotes.”

“I think the players should bear in mind that little kids are watching this game,” opined the box in Leonardo DiCapiro’s accent. “You can’t have a role model that doesn’t score of at least two balls.”

“Dad, why are the players wearing slightly different kits and a couple of them wearing white?”

“Because each player is sponsored by a separate company who want their brand colours associated with the player,” answered Dad. “The ones in white indicate they are available; it’s the same way they used to indicate with unbranded bats 20 years ago.”

The crowd, all wearing black T-shirts with LAXE deoderant written on each stood up in excitement as an Indian Bookie lofted an England Chapati into the crowd. The company that makes LAXE had bought the rights to the crowd and anyone who purchased a ticket had to buy the branded T-shirt to enter.

The older people in the crowd were clearly exhausted. No food and beverage was available because the local association had allotted the official rights of food and beverage (including water) to a local company and the MNC with global rights had filed a case against BCCI for breach of contract. The result was a stay order against both companies.

“And he’s bowled him!” boomed Sidhu’s voice as a wicket fell. “That was a LedEx faster ball that cleaned him up like a Barpic toilet bowl cleaner. He’d had a close Millette razor shave an over earlier but had no chance this time.”

“Actually it’s about the right length,” came Deepika Padukone’s sultry voice. “He landed the ball in the Madbury chocolate section on the pitch and the batsman thought ‘halka sa meetha ho jaye’, and went for a big bite and missed it.”

“Dad, how come the Hong Kong team was included and New Zealand wasn’t in this World Cup?” asked the son. “I don’t think they’re as good.”

“Well they promised a huge donation to ICC,” answered Dad. “They are a bigger market than New Zealand where sheep outnumber humans.”

“So how come Corey Anderson is playing for Hong Kong?” asked the son.

“They bought him in the open auction held by the ICC for players of teams not participating,” Dad clarified. “It leads to a temporary passport allotted to the player for the duration of the tournament. This way all the best players get to play in the World Cup even if their countries can’t afford ICC membership fees of 10 million dollars a year. After all it’s a gentleman’s game.”

The son nodded as he saw a batsman being lynched by the fielders after protesting against a beamer bowled by the bowler. The crowd cheered as the commentator excitedly announced that it was time for the WWF moment and to keep watching this beautiful sport.