HE may not have been invited to dinner and his talks with European Union leaders were cut short to only three hours, but Russian President Vladimir Putin made clear in Brussels last week that he is not bowing to EU pressure on Ukraine or indeed on relations with any of Moscow’s other former Soviet friends. Instead, the Russian leader who once talked of sharing a “European house” with the EU and being part of a diverse “European family” touted the virtues of his “Eurasian Union” as more attractive to his neighbours than closer relations or even membership of the EU.

Never easy, EU-Russia relations are getting testier as Moscow demands respect and recognition as a “great power” and refuses to accept the EU’s attempted wooing of its former satellites — or EU lessons on democracy and human rights.

The 28 EU countries, meanwhile, may need Russian oil and gas, but disagree with Putin’s domestic politics, including treatment of dissent, minorities and gay people. As such, despite public talk of Russia as a key “strategic partner”, there is little love lost between Moscow and most EU capitals.

The long list of domestic and foreign policy areas of EU-Russia discord has prompted some to talk of a new “Cold War” in Europe. While that may not be true, relations between Russia and the EU are certainly getting frostier.

The chill will be in display at the upcoming winter games in Sochi, with many EU leaders staying away from the Russian resort. French President Francois Hollande and his German counterpart, Joachim Gauk, have bowed out of going to the games, joining US President Barack Obama and Canada’s Stephen Harper who are also not attending.

Lithuania’s president, Dalia Grybauskaitë, an outspoken critic of the Russian government, has openly said that she is boycotting the games for political reasons. European Commission Vice-President Viviane Reding said that she would not go to Sochi “as long as minorities are treated the way they are under the current Russian legislation”.

Russia’s detention of Greenpeace activists (now released) who staged a maritime protest against Russia’s first offshore oil rig in the Arctic has also strained relations.

But its discord over Ukraine which is causing the most EU-Russia acrimony. At a joint news conference in Brussels with EU Council President Herman Van Rompuy and his European Commission counterpart Jose Manuel Barroso, Putin slammed the EU for interfering in Ukraine’s internal affairs.

Ever since President Viktor Yanukovych’s decision last year to spurn a trade and political deal with the EU in favour of Russia led to sustained protests in the country, the EU has sent a procession of senior officials to meet government and opposition leaders in Ukraine.

The Russian leader denounced the visits as “simply unacceptable”, saying the EU should not be encouraging Ukraine’s opposition forces. “I can imagine the reaction of our European partners if, in the midst of a crisis in Greece or any other country, our foreign minister would come to an anti-European rally and would urge people to do something,” raged Putin.

Seeking to pre-empt similar rivalry in the future, Russia and the EU agreed to discuss and dovetail the economic incentives they intend to offer other former Soviet countries. Officials in Brussels are hoping that such talks will reassure the Kremlin that free trade pacts with former Soviet countries will not harm Russia’s economic interests.

The consultations will have a political mission despite their “technical” nature, said Barroso, adding: “We need to change the perception that one region’s gain is another region’s pain. We are against the mentality of bloc against bloc.”

EU officials recognise that they must work harder to develop a new and more pragmatic relationship with Russia. As Van Rompuy pointed out, the EU and Russia must work together on issues like Afghanistan, the Middle East peace process and anti-piracy operations off the Horn of Africa. Russian support is also much needed to ensure progress in ending the crisis in Syria and normalising relations with Iran.

But dealing with Russia is not easy for an EU which is committed to a normative foreign policy agenda based on the external projection of democracy, human rights and the rule of law. European public sentiment is also increasingly hostile towards Russia in view of the rise of intolerance in the country, especially as regards the discriminatory treatment of gay people.

Meanwhile, Moscow views the EU’s “neighbourhood policy” of seeking to create a “circle of friends” around the 28-nation bloc as an affront to its own “Eurasian Union” initiative.

In the end, however, given their rising economic interdependence, the EU and Russia will have to learn to live with each other — for the sake of Europe.

—The writer is Dawn’s correspondent in Brussels.