Aping-pong match played years back now enters its final round. Today we should know the winner as a new government takes shape. More on this later.

It’s a truism that the singer, not the song calls the tune. The planner, not the plan drives the Planning Commission in reaching the goalpost. Former deputy chairman Nadeemul Haque was never the driver but a front-seat passenger, so he claims. Opening up his heart to the press as a last minute bid to hang on to his chair, he blames the past government [read Zardari] for the energy crisis.

In a recently released Planning Commission report on circular debt, based on an independent analysis funded by USAID, Dr Haque laments a “roadmap” that instead of being “proactive” was more “reactive”. He critiqued the “authoritarian attitude” of the government. To translate this waffle into a simple one-liner: Zardari and his water and power commissar Dr Asim were fiddlers not fixers.

Appointing a clutch of clueless, confused and allegedly corrupt water and power ministers like Raja ‘Rental,’ (once a small-time real estate agent) or Dr Asim Hussain (personal physician of President Zardari) or Ahmad Mukhtar, (who needed to be parked somewhere) shows the criminal abandonment of the past government’s response to a national crisis.

Zardari’s priorities lay elsewhere. He diverted the money to Benazir Income Support Programme (BISP) in the hope of winning the 2013 elections. That plan backfired badly with the PPP being reduced to a mere regional party in Sindh. Today his henchmen in Punjab are seen handwringing. They openly question why millions were spent in BISP and not used for power generation. Too late! Furthermore, the woman trusted with doling out the millions to the needy, Ms Farzana Raja, has done well for herself. A friend who stopped at a rest area on the motorway while coming from Lahore met the owner of a big showroom that sells carpets. The owner looked happy. When asked the reason, he alleged that he had just delivered Rs 63.5million worth of carpets to “Madam’s” Lahore house in Defence. It can be that the carpet dealer is fibbing, merely trying to impress his friend or indeed that ‘Madam’ has hit a gold mine; or she has inherited a fortune; or she has saved this chunk of money from her salary and has now invested in expensive carpets. Whatever the source of her wealth, it’s now up to the income tax folks to wake up and smell not the coffee but a rat.

Now to the ping-pong match mentioned at the beginning of this column. As I said, we still don’t know who will win the doubles. Here’s how the story unfolds. A light bulb comes on in the caretaker PM’s mind. The 83-year old Khoso hits upon a dazzling idea. He orders the headless Planning Commission to revive the abandoned 10th Five-Year Plan in the next seven days! Brilliant!

The superannuated PM has perhaps received a shot in the arm to reenergise his aging brain cells as his time to leave has arrived. Only recently he displayed a lack of appetite for matters financial. According to an eyewitness present in the room, he dozed off during a pre-budget presentation some weeks back and when woken up told the bewildered officials to call it a day and instead partake of tea and snacks. Supercharged, the caretaker PM has out of the blue ordered the 10th Five-Year Plan restored, presto.

A closer examination of Khoso’s ‘eureka’ moment shows another planner behind the Plan. Like Dr Haque, Dr Shahid Amjad Chaudhry perhaps wants to carve out a cosy niche for himself in the new government. As adviser finance to the caretaker PM, he has been designated by his boss to present the Nawaz government with the 10th Five-Year Plan.

A spokesman for the Planning Commission has already confirmed preparations for the Plan. “We will update the draft of the five-year plan from 2010-15 to 2013-18 and have been asked to prepare it within the next two weeks.”

In America you can get crash course books on any subject by reading the ‘Dummies’ series that claim to “making everything easier”. A five-year plan made in seven days may fit the bill for dummies, but not for a country on the brink of bankruptcy? You’ve got to be kidding.

According to newspaper reports, “scepticism among professional economists” questions why the caretaker government has suddenly woken up to this idea. “Instead of angling for the job of implementing the plan, the caretakers should focus on a making a smooth exit after the elected government is sworn in”, said one economist.

Interestingly, Chaudhry who served as Deputy Chairman Planning Commission during the first three years of Pervez Musharraf’s tenure was the architect of this plan that got dumped by Musharraf.

Enter the younger Chaudhry. Dr Rashid Amjad Chaudhry took up where his elder brother had left off. In 2009-10 as head of Pakistan Institute of Development Economics (PIDE) he persevered with the 10th five-year plan.

The plan or rather the ping-pong match with the Chaudhry brothers as partners versus Shaukat Aziz and later Dr Nadeemul Haque, the former chairman of Planning Commission, has to date no winners. Haque said that five-year plans were “redundant for contemporary economies”. He refused to include it in the 2010-11 federal budget. “Interestingly, Haque’s replacement for the five-year plan – the Growth Framework model — wasn’t implemented either, not even during his tenure”, reported this newspaper.

The Planning Commission which celebrates its 60 years of existence this year appears in the doldrums today. Men like M.M. Ahmad, Mahboobul Haq and A.G.N Kazi are some of the names who served as deputy chairmen of this great institution.

If you were to visit the Planning Commission website, you’d be impressed by its motto that says “[it] is engaged in rethinking the country’s growth strategy with a view to developing policy and reform ideas for achieving a sustainable growth acceleration. While continuing with the public sector investment programme, policy needs to focus more on productivity enhancement, specially in the government, deregulation to make better markets, encourage innovation and investment and deregulate cities space for economic and commercial growth”.

High hopes indeed.

The epilogue to this story will be written when Senator Ishaq Dar, the presumptive finance minister and his team start their terms in office. Will the brightly coloured gift packed with the Plan along with its architect awaiting them on their first day in office evoke an expression of joy, surprise, disdain or gratitude? Only the lens of a camera can capture this question.

anjumniaz@rocketmail.com